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Post by Rika Sat Mar 11, 2017 6:20 pm

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It can be.

Perhaps I should've asked you that first. Not sure if it would've made a difference or not. Or maybe it would've sound less rude. Even so my question would not have changed in the end.

=/ Well that is no good. You want a break from me to recover then?

I cry because....I am hurt (sad, angry, etc) or the pressure within is so much that I am going to explode and there is no other out. You say it is probably not the different, but perhaps it is.

Unlike me...your fuse seems to be different. I am not sure how much help I can be, but if you want to vent or lay out what is bothering you than feel free too...


He knew it...it was him after all....
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Post by Sharaku Sat Mar 11, 2017 6:47 pm

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Never said it sounded any specific way. the only reason I point that out is because i am not as okay as you seem to be with crying around people, and subsequently talking about it as well. If i wanted t say no though, it wouldnt even matter how you asked in the frst place.

...ame thing. If I wanted to run, I would have already done so, and just left you with maybe one message about being busy or whatever. Its text. I didnt even have to let you know what I'm doing. Y'dont need to try to tiptoe around me much when like this, unless Im clearly protesting about your involvement from the start.

so I guess it is different. Im not upset in the sense that I'd start throwing a tantrum over being talked to....unless you just do something super dumb. Though it's kind of similar in terms of the causes...? I dont know. Cant make much sense of it when too many feelings try to mix together.

I guess I can do wht you speak of sometimes, but I certainly have a much longer fuse if we talk crying = just have to explode. Id call that a different kind of upset than this. Not sure whether I have the words to explain that though.

it depends I suppose. I dont always have to be upset to the next dimension to do it...but I do sort of hate doing that around people, so mst people wouldnt know this about me anyway. Everyone just tends to flip out and suddenly act differently when someone starts crying, nd I can't stand that stupidly overly mushy stuff from 99% of people. i'm not suddenly made of glass or something, unlesss I'm just 100% done, but i think if it was at that level, itd be obvios enough.

...

I think im currently most worried about my laptop not liking the wet. as far as talking about things goes, im no good at wording my feelings, and I think communicating stuff like this over txt makes it lose value/real impact as welll.

Well, he was kind of talking...?
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Post by Rika Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:22 pm

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Alright. I see...though. I wasn’t tiptoing. More just concerned about how even text is bothering you. Even in the face of what you just said, I am still concerned because you are still talking to me. I know it may seem like I am being skittish or something, but honestly I am not. I am just worried about ya.

As for telling me what you were doing. No you didn’t have to say it, but I am glad you did because I want and kind of need you to be open about that so that I too can address things that I may be doing wrong and help you through whatever problems you have. I may be a handful, but I believe I told you before I wasn’t trying to just get advice and toss you to the side. No. I am here for you too, but I cannot help if you don’t speak to me. Even if it is hard to say it or type...I want you to do it when you can or feel okay enough to do it.

As for what you said….Well I don’t think anyone has the right words for anything, but I find at least trying to talk it out or express it helps. I mean it does get out there and helps it get off your chest. It helps a bit with the pressure and maybe even to sort out the confusion. I know I feel a bit better and clear-headed after a cry...and honestly, you don’t have to hide them from me. Yes, I know you said you are hate doing it, but can you really hide that from me forever? I mean what happens if it gets to this point and we are face-to-face, you know?

Speaking of sadfaces….I honestly wish we were face-to-face because I would honestly just give you a hug and let you talk if you wanted to. I can agree text doesn’t work well, but it might just have to for now. Unless, you tell me where you are and we can actually meet and talk face-to-face more about this. I know I can’t stop the pain….but I don’t want you crying by yourself if there is anything at all I can do to help. =/

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Post by Sharaku Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:02 pm

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Welll, just because it is text, that doesn’t meant it doesn’t mean anything. we wouldnt have any reason to be talking like this if that was the case. although, it’s not necessarily the text itself being the sole reason why this is happening anyway.

Wouldnt it be more concerning if I ws refusing to talk?

to be honest, if I chose to not tell you, my reason would be not wanting you to worry more than needed. Zou seem to really enjoy taking things out of proportions at times (no offense). Idon’t think I have problems that need to be worked through right now, unless there is something that I’ve missed but whatever on that. This isn’t me trying to point fingers at you for being wrong either, for if I wanted to be doing that, id probably have to send you to the deepest of hells seeing as a lot of what you do can easily be upsetting for various reasons. It is what it is. i think everyone has moments when they have to do things like this. I would say that life itself is pretty stressful/unpredictable on its own even without the factor of other people added in.

And well no, im not sure whether I agree with you there. For some it may, but not everyone finds it helpful to talk/express. i mean if it is something they dont want anyone to know just like that, wouldn’t they just feel like shit if they were made to tell rather than feling better?

anyway, im not really confused. I don’t always need to be able to name an emotion to be fine with it happening. It works in its own way, but since we seem to do this stuff very differently, I dont know if I could explain this without confusing you instead. as for hiding…depends. Ill have you know I’m really good at avoiding doing stuff like this when im not alone as long as it isn’t something extremely bad. If it happened…i suppose I would decide how to deal with it then. I have zero idea there, never done that before….

you don’t need to worry that much. Ive never done hugs for this and I still live, so I will not die without getting one now. T bh I usually don’t even want any. Depends on why am I even feeling this way in the first place. I mean, I dont dislike the touching but ive never been the one to seek it when feeling bad. Maybe its just a force of habit, maybe not but I don’t feel as depended on that type of shtick as you seem to be. Im okay doing this on my own. If you really want to meet anyway though, I could accommodate that I guess.
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Post by Rika Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:14 pm

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Yeah. I didn’t mean it didn’t have meaning. Just that is not the same as face-to-face. I guess limiting is the best way to describe it.

And yes, I think I would be more stressed if you weren’t talking because I wouldn’t have a way to understand or prove it wasn’t something I did to cause the problem in the first place. Granted, despite your intentions with not saying anything...I am unfortunately am going to worry. At least across text you don’t have to see it. Though since I told you I don’t even know if that point holds any weight anymore. I dunno. >>;;


*There is a brief pause. It only last a few seconds, but it is still noticeable. In time the demon types again.*

I…

....

Bloodybones shakes head and sighs.

...Then perhaps you’ll have to send me to the deepest pits of hell since I want to know what do I do that is so unsettling for you.

And yeah. Tell me about it.

Well yes, but that is why I said it works for me and just tossed it out as a suggestion for you if you wanted to try that. Not saying you have to or anything.  

Well that is fine….

….I see. Though hugging isn’t a shtick for me, so I’d appreciate you not calling it that. As for the meeting I was throwing that out there to help you. So it’s up to you if we meet face-to-face or not. I was just giving you an option is all...

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Post by Sharaku Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:20 pm

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Its different, yes. But it can sometimes lead to results that are very similar to normal talking anyway, I’d say.

Honestly? You tend to be a bit too see-through at times, so I can’t even say whether you’d be able to hide your worrying were you to not tell me straight up. anyway I just prefer that people don’t do that, is all. Unless I’m dying or something super serious. I think I know myself well enough to be able to say whether i am okay or not and how much, so it just kind of comes off as a bit of a waste of energy to me when people insist on being worrywarts even when I assure them im not in the need of that. Am I that bad at being convincing?



nO

If I am to be frank right now, I think the most unsettling thing of the moment is your self-defeatist outlook. Im not sure what to think when I just casually state something, and then the person on the receiving end says they actually want to get burned on the stake for real (unless you are trying to joke about it, but you dont seem to be in the most amusing of moods right now if I am interpreting your writing correctly). I mean, I know I dont seem like the nicest guy ever, but I typically don’t mean these seriously. If I ever do, youd probably tell easy because I most likely wouldn wait for your opinion. Id just get up and go do the deed right after. Or do something that shows I am dead serious about it.

in general though….i think its usually just the little things? You know I cant tell you to overhaul yourself just because some random traits of yours are harder to handle. Its more o less impossible to know someone and not dislike/get annoyed by even a single trait of theirs. That’s what happens in fairytales not real life. Trust me if it was something big and important I would tell you, but I don’t want to watch you stress over some tiny shit because I mentioned it and try to smooth it over for my sake when its pretty much stuff I probably just need to adjust to. If it becomes an unavoidable problem in time ill deal with it then I suppose.

Anyway….I never said I believe I have to because you said it. Im just offering my two cents of the topic since it is there. That’s all.

And that was not my point in any case. I called it that because it was the first word that came to mind. And you do seem to lean towards that stuff, otherwise you wouldn’t go out of your way to show that the last time.

That said, im not really hurt or such so i don’t think I need any actual help. It wouldn’t really be about that for me, I don’t think. And I can go either way with meets. Do you really want to? Tbh if we do that, id rather you actually want to meet, and not only be doin this for the sole reason of trying to comfort me. Because someone aiming too hard to baby me in some way is way more uncomfortable than anything else. Like, I don’t mind the intent being there, but if its overflowing over everything else then its just rather awkward.


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Post by Rika Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:03 pm

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Never said it couldn’t. Just said it was different is all.

…..

-.-

Well excuse me for being me and being concerned. Like I don’t think its so much a convincing matter, but more like a way I for one show that I care. I mean yes I worry and stress and you’ve witness mostly the bad, but even so that doesn’t mean I am going to baby you or what not. I just...I just show that I care more openly. So to hear you say it is a waste of time in your eyes, it makes me wonder if I can even be myself for real if you don’t like that…..

As for being see-through. So its easy to see emotions on me; however, that doesn’t make me as transparent as you think. If you think just because I am crying or showing anger, then that is that, I’d have you know that you’re wrong. I am a bit more complicated than that thank you.

...No I am not joking and ask because if there is something there you don’t like (like the above for example) I want to know and in turn do something to make whatever it is easier to swallow or something. I cannot change or fix an issue if I don’t know about it. So yes, I much rather be burnt and take a chance of picking myself up rather than burn and never be able to recover later when things explode.

Also, my negative outlook is not self-defeating all the time. Yes it starts out that way, but in the end it is all a process. I hit a low, I fight with it, might cry or what not about it, but then i climb back out and try to figure it out. It is probably bizzare for the more stable or sane person, but I told you before due to the way I function I work double time and often it takes a while for me to get a spot where I can think on a logical level again. I may seem gloom and doom, but honestly that is me just looking at it realistically and not getting my hopes up so high that when they come crashing down I seriously get hurt from it. Granted they can be lower in positivity than normal, but….honestly it is not that bad. Much like your wording, you have to take most of the gloom I have with a grain of salt. After all...it is rather apparent when shit bothers me, so.

Hmmm...I see. Well I suppose there is nothing to do about that……

Ah. K.

Yes...I do lean towards thus the remark stung a bit. Call oversensitive, but honestly even if you can take everything….some of us can’t. Not saying to be super sweet and tiptoe around things, but seriously...watch what you say sometimes.

….I just…

Sigh….you know what?
Just forget about that offer. It was a dumb idea….

….

Bloodybones stares at picture.

= o
=D

So cute!!! <3 <3

Bloodybones watches the gif with a grin.

No seriously, he and the cat were watching that picture with a grin. Easily amused it seems.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:15 am

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OKAY, pause for a moment.

I’m honestly not feeling this shit today. Can we like PLEASE lay off the ‘butthurt’ : ‘let me read too deeply into what was said and defend against everything as if it was an attempt to disgrace/invalidate me somehow’ thing? Because I am honestly getting tired of this right now, and not in a good way.

I like expressing my opinions and all okay, but I’m probably going to scratch my eyes out if I have to read/ engage in more of this whole ‘taking everything too hard’ and ‘Depression over statements TM’ right now.

Can we honestly not hold a civil conversation without always having to explain everything ten times over and still getting it interpreted horribly wrong and derailed to all the unnecessary stuff/assumptions?

I want to actually enjoy a conversation for once, instead of always feeling like I have to make up for something I unknowingly said wrong (even when I maybe just didn’t say everything I could have), or needing to overexplain myself to the point where I feel like a deflated balloon while still having accomplished relatively nothing useful based on what I see happen afterwards. Besides explaining beyond a certain point feels more akin to overcomplicating what should be simple instead of helping the matter at hand any.

I honestly feel like we’ve accomplished pretty much nearly nothing with this entire talk, and it just keeps getting worse right now.

I think I am going to go make myself tea or something, so enjoy your picture for the moment, but I would appreciate it if you took some time to think about this too.

Strangely enough, his messy typing seemed to have cleared out completely with this message, no errors being present any more almost all of a sudden. Whether that meant anything or not, the other would be left to himself for a short while now...
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Post by Rika Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:02 am

He he saw what the other wrote and in all honesty found ironic that the other had snapped before he did. What the guy had said was literally something he had been pondering and was on the edge of confronting him about, but it looked like the other got to it first. Did it hurt? Yeah, but not in the way that one may think. Regardless in the face of all that text, the response the other got back was....

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....

Bloodybones afks for a bit.

...And that was that for now.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:10 am

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.....ok?

Well, he did come back about 10 minutes later or so, but...what could he even respond with to that...? There would be no point in trying to pull at the guy and asking for an actual response, because that could just spark a fight in a different way...and he was honestly not very interested if it were to go that way. It was already obvious it went almost nowhere unless they approached it all with an open enough mind. Which for some reason seemed to be a huge issue as it didn't quite happen most of the time.
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Post by Rika Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:13 am

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Sup?

Well at least he hadn't run away or anything like that.


Last edited by Rika on Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:27 am; edited 2 times in total
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Post by Sharaku Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:16 am

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Trying to not get burned by my tea

....why?

To be honest, he was a little confused there. Well, he did have an idea as to what the guy might be trying to do, but he wasn't quite sure how well would it benefit them to just go and ignore all that was said before. Plus, it also meant he had zero idea on what the guy even thought about it all, which was a little ehhh.
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Post by Rika Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:24 am

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ah. well be careful there and was just curious is all.

While it was true Rika did indeed afk and came back with a different sort of words. This did not mean he had dismissed or forgotten what had just been said/typed. Not by a long shot. Regardless, it appeared if the other wanted the his thoughts on the matter, he would have to pry.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:30 am

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Okay

No, he wasn't really going to. Not in this case. If the other wanted to say something, he could do it without being asked. Frankly, at the current moment, he wasn't in the mood to risk landing himself into an unplanned hole by prodding without knowing whether it was even a good idea at all. Nor did he feel like he should be obliged to do it to get somewhere. He did give his own opinion already. It was up to the other whether he wanted to give his or not.
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Post by Rika Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:27 am

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mmmm.

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it’s nice outside and the wind feels good...so it really is too bad i too can’t feel that way.

sigh.

...i saw what you wrote...and to be frank it was something that i could agree on. i too would like to have normal conversations that didn’t end up like this, but at the same time...i don’t know what to do anymore. i understand we are going to get in arguments and not agree with one another. i get that these moments happen, but at the same time this does happen to often and while i can understand some of the problem is overthinking, the other problem is you not getting me and vice versa.

...and unfortunately, i don’t know what to do to fix it. if i speak my mind, i come off as being oversensitive and defensive, but if i keep my mouth shut i come off in a different negative light. there just seems to be no winning because you’re mad at me for being mrs. gloom when i am not trying to be despite my words, then i get agitated cause i try to explain, but fail and then it goes on and on.

...i don’t even know how to tackle this problem without stating the same thing we have been saying for the last hour so.

...i just don’t know anymore....

…..

also for the record this is not me being depressed or moopy. this is simply me being worn out at a lost as to what to do….

Well at least he proved he wasn't noping the situation if that is what the other was concerned about.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:43 am

For a moment, he had a serious urge to don some sarcasm in response to some of that, but he would opt not to go that route, because it was frankly stupid, and he didn’t need to be super smart to know that much.

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Noire bashes head against the wall

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Okay, well, maybe we just need to take this from the basics then, rather than trying to talk without addressing the differences of how we view the talking in the first place regardless of its subject.

If I am reading this correctly, it appears that we have different ways of communicating, which may be what is causing this. Or so I would guess at least.

Tbh, I personally do not view disagreements as an argument. Not unless the other person starts throwing nasty remarks my way and making it obvious they’re trying to stomp me down. Outside of that? I usually just see it as an exchange of opinions. There is no way we will always find a way to agree, and I’m not even expecting it to happen (if it does, plus points though). I simply keep up the discussion to learn more from it, rather than trying to find a winner there, really. Unless I have a good reason to try to prove someone wrong completely. Though I think that if something takes a wrong turn, it can come to look like that, but 95% of the time I’m not really trying to argue >>

I’m not really expecting you to fix anything, and most of the time I’m not mad either. I tend to point things out more or less because that’s how they seem to look from my perspective at the time, but I often mean them only as an observation statement, rather than doing it to force some change from you. I understand that such takes time, and that not everything can even be altered, and I don’t really ask for that. I guess I just have a habit of stating myself a bit too bluntly at times. And when it starts snowballing out of nowhere, I end up being on the defensive all off a sudden as well, which turns things into an infinity loop of sorts.

…I suppose I have too much pride to just back down when the other side keeps responding to me themselves, but I don’t really mean it to look that way…

And you know what else is equally hard? Not trying to just bounce things back with the wrong 'undertone' out of habit. He was far from good at smoothly apologizing or anything of the kind, unlike the demon who seemed to not have that much issue with backing down and all. Well, sometimes.
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Post by Rika Tue Mar 14, 2017 2:23 pm

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i would say it is a double fold issue for us at least.

on one hand, i can handle discussion. even if it is something we don’t agree on i can speak on it and be more or less calm about it. however, when things start to go south in a bad way, i have the tendency to start to not be as composed as you…and for there the discussion cease being a chat and shifts into argument terrority…which brings me to the second fold.

…i don’t care for constant pressure. in fact, if i am at a point where i starting to cry or even remotely close to it, it is already a sign that the pressure is too much. if you continue to  push me the pressure increase making me highly uncomfortable and rasing the chances of me bursting. i suppose in this regard, i would be the one breaking all the time. even more so if you are the type to not let up. i can handle arguments and learning, but the way you put does indeed put a great strain on me. in turn, a break like what occurred before is needed for myself at least.

however,  

we cannot keep pausing every time something comes up for various reasons.

as for what you said, about things. well, i suppose i am opposite in the fact that if i see an error and someone points out then it needs to be fixed in some way to make it better…i do admit it would be nice take that step out the equation. as for pride…i have it i just submit cause i get tired of the run around and not getting anything done…at that point i question what is the point.

hmmm…well.

i am not sure exactly what to do except maybe work in time outs or perhaps if it one of us is coming on to strong somehow back each other up in a way that won’t set off a freaking nuke?

Hmm. What to do indeed. Their approaches were so different, yet they both seemed to be on the same ground of accepting the other as is without demanding a change of some sort. So the question was: could these two work together on a system that worked for both of them? Or were they indeed doomed to not get along?
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Post by Sharaku Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:38 pm

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…I think I usually don’t even really realize that someone’s busy arguing while I’m still just trying to talk. We have different threshold limits, I guess. If I do decide I want a break or want to stop for some reason, more often than not, it’s just due to starting to be annoyed over how things are going. Well, not that it doesn’t ever hurt or such, but maybe I’m just more resistant to that in the long run.

As for errors…I mean, I do consider them, but I tend to want to make completely sure that it’s something the person wants me to honestly work on, and then decide whether I am willing to before I even come to the point of considering the idea of actively ‘fixing’ whatever it is. Never been the one to jump on a bandwagon without at least some form of evaluation beforehand. I think I would explode myself if I immediately had the urge to fix every issue like thing that I saw in people’s words towards me. There tend to be too many most of the time, whether they are genuine pointers or just a person scratching at me because they’re grumpy over something that…I probably didn’t notice. And I suppose I just naturally assume that everyone would take a moment to think and maybe ask me for a confirmation before marking something I might have only mentioned in passing (or personally intended for it to only be that originally) as ‘need to be fixed asap’, rather than seeing it that way without me being aware of it even happening. I probably suck at that form of awareness…so my bad I guess. I don’t know.

Hm.

I could work with maybe setting up some sort of ‘stop’ sign we can rely on and know it’s not just an attempt to stir the issue further. I don’t know how I feel about actual time outs, because they could potentially create a form of distance that might bring different trouble to the table with it.

Either way, I don’t think those would be a solution forever either, because we can’t be cutting each other off all the time. That doesn’t sound like a good ground base for any kind of relationship if it happens a bit too often. I wish there was a way to adapt, but I’m not certain whether either of us could change something there…..

It was a tricky subject, that much was for certain.
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Post by Rika Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:43 pm

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i would think so. tho for me i think it is more of the ordeal as a whole it is stressful and sometimes i just need a bit of silence to recover and think again. while it may not be arguing to you and even i get it is not arguing, the pressure is still there….due to the nature of how it appears tho you may just assume i am upset...so perhaps a sign of some sort to stop a moment should be placed there….*rubs ear.* hmm…

well...i suppose this works two ways. i mean it is not like i stop and think oh maybe i should just ask before assuming things either. i do make assumptions based on what i know and typical trends of people….so i probably fall off the mark there too in my own way. as for the errors...yeah, i try to make things work and maybe i try a bit too hard or just go about it all wrong since in the end i typically get the bad end of the stick when i think about. still i prefer peace over strife despite what the previous meetings between us and even the beginning of this chat suggests. i guess i don’t present what i am trying to do very well, but then again...i was never in a situation where i was literally allowed to be myself...i guess in a way i am unused to this and in turn just am a huge error in this department. so derp there. >>

yeah….i was kind of iffy on the time outs cause as you said literal ones could crop up new problems. as for warning signs, we could use them a bit until we are comfortable enough around each other to drop them or know its alright to step up and back the other off knowing the other would understand. we are uncertain if this will help or not, but maybe it might do something?

as for adapting, i dunno...i think much like the stops we just have to learn how to deal with each other by doing alongside talking...that is the only thing i can think could work. tho perhaps let’s start at the basic and actually attempt to do what i botched up the last time - get to know each other some more. like i mentioned the sleepover, but maybe there so maybe we can figure out something we can do at a basic level and go from there? or something? i am bit derp here my brain is all over.

Tricky indeed...what to do?
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Post by Sharaku Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:26 pm

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I find silence to be dangerous at times. Listen to only your own thoughts too much, and you could come to conclusions that are several times worse than they need to be. So I usually prefer to at least stick around and ask for some sort of clarification on things or just try to look for something more in general. Even if it doesn’t help me greatly, I still find it better than possibly magnifying the problems by myself. Although, I’ll admit that sometimes it’s rather hard to keep a conversation going without it exploding on the way. As for you…well, the way you typically do it does tend to make it seem like you’re most likely upset, I won’t deny that. And I usually can’t really think of a way to make sure without starting something I don’t actually want to…

Maybe the problem there is that you assume based on ‘typical trends’ as you put it. Not to say that I think I’m super special or anything, but apparently I don’t fall into those very often it seems. So while assumptions can sometimes be a good force in case you guess correctly, it can also destroy everything if one sticks to the ‘generic’ ones at the wrong moments. Regardless…I think I have no strict preference there. Peace tends to be better by normal standards, but there are times when once needs to be willing to give that up for the sake of progress too. Life doesn’t make things easy it seems.

As for being yourself….well, I would think that’s something that is quite important in relationships. Unless it is of course way too detrimental, but in that case I would wager that the people in question might be better off splitting up. Either way, a working relationship needs to be more or less equal, and if even one of the sides needs to constantly suppress themselves and finds it unpleasant, what is even the point….? People seek close relationships because they want to feel good/happy in some way, not the opposite, right? We can live by ourselves too, so it isn’t like it is an obligation for us to be with someone ever.

I’ll take whatever goes as long as it proves to help, I suppose. To be honest, I think I tend to fail to notice because the way you express things tends to just appear like you’re complaining or being butthurt over what I said in some way, which only makes me want to do something about it. You might be good if you remember to simply be 100% direct and tell me that you want me to stop doing something because ‘w/e your reasons are for it’. I mean, I don’t see myself as dumb, but I would say that I am not really good at picking up subtle hints…and sometimes even ones that are not exactly subtle. You have to tell me exactly what you want to my face here and there…at least until I learn to read you without needing that. It might take some time since we seem to be pretty different.

We probably just need to work out the communication issues, unless there is more behind it all that we did not come across yet, but let’s hope not. When it comes to how…I guess all we can do is try and see. I have no end all solution to this anyway.
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Post by Rika Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:59 pm

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i would agree too much silence is a bad thing and yes….being alone in your own head is a nightmare on its own. i try to be open-minded though and listen despite what my outer appearance may seem.i do like clarification, but i will admit depending on the situation my patience in that area can become short. When i get like this i can get snappy and seem like it is unwise to approach or say anything, but honestly i rather you just say what is on your mind so at least it is out there. i think sometimes what is not being said causes a whole lot of stress and unnecessariness (on my end) that probably can be resolved by just opening our mouths. can’t say it will be smooth sailing, but perhaps better than what we have been through. it might be worth the try.

oh you’re special alright =P, but seriously i probably do need to work on the assumption thing a bit. I won’t say that it is the only way i think, but I tend to lean on what i know to comprehend things around me so this area is probably just a matter of adapting to you. And yeah. Like i said, i prefer peace….that doesn’t mean it is always gonna be there. we understand more than you may believe. i understand we need struggle and pain at times to grow.

Heh. i wish i had met you earlier or had a way to go back in time and whack my younger self with that one, but yes. i can agree with you there. it does need to be a balance of a sort for both ends.

neh? hmmm. well, i could try that and i guess work on not being so frowny/whiny. ‘cause i am not complaining most of the time. and yeeah. time indeed will be need to adapt, but maybe it won’t be so bad in the long run if we can find ways to deal with the major issues now.

mhmm. i think that is the best way too. i don’t think over-explaining and planning works for us due to proof and the fact words can’t save all. so yes, i am willing to give it whirl and see where we land.

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Post by Sharaku Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:38 pm

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At least you aren't always like that....I think people avoid telling me things on principle, even when things aren't really bad. Maybe I just don't look approachable enough to them. Though to be honest, I usually get annoyed exactly when people act skittish around me and don't tell me stuff even when I never told them to back off in the first place. If I truly minded them speaking to me, I would have told them to shut their mouth at some point, but most seem to miss the cue and run before there's any real reason to.

That said...how though? If I were to let's say try to speak when you get snappy, I assume I would not get the best feedback or anything...thus, how do I know what should I say? You say 'what is not being said', but there are usually quite a few things that fall into said category, and I don't think I can just know which is the one that needs to be put out there. And trying to monologue for too long may miss the point entirely by making it hard to take it all in.

You like the past a lot Lol. Not that it is bad, but a lot of new things probably won't fit the framework you've already created from your previous experiences. Tbh, I think that if I tried to rely on that too much, we wouldn't even be doing this. I don't exactly have the best of experiences with people in general....so I can't even do that unless I want to be writing everyone off before anything even happens. While that could be satisfying at times, I'm not sure what would it mean for me....

Er no, I don't think you'd want to meet younger me. Well, depends on how far back in time you'd go but still, probably just better to avoid that. x_x

...I've noticed that a lot of things can easily sound like complaints. I probably look that way too sometimes, even if it is unintentional. I wonder why that happens. Maybe it's the way we grow up nowadays teaching us to perceive negative statements as complaining? Not that they sometimes aren't just that but eh....


Noire shakes head

I wish proof was easier to get hands on. It would make a lot of things much simpler to deal with. I don't always enjoy working simply on assumptions and hopes alone. It's hard.
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Post by Rika Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:38 pm

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you're...intense and in turn intimidating. as a result of that i think alot turn tail and just nope it because they are too scared. for me though, i kind of like that about you and while it is a challenge so to speak, i choose not to run because i am in boat of trying things before laying down a judgment...even if it appears i am judging at every corner. despite being uncomfortable, i persist and 9 out of 10? i end up with more or less good results. now the way this has all happened with us, it may seem bad, but despite the shitstorms i've started...i am glad in the end. not for the pain or anything that i caused, but rather because i got to meet you and in turn through the bad got to see clearly that even if you appear to be mean and cold (no offense), you really aren't. you're just different and i think that is a good thing in its own ways.

well, that is honestly hard to answer. i can tell you monologue too much can and will agitate me further. usually the best approach is small bits that don't overwhelm and thus flare up my anxiety leading to the ugly snowball. i even know if it can be explained....Like sometimes a calm approach is right, sometimes trying to be more on the touchy side works, and sometimes being quiet for a moment does. there are so many possibilities i cannot explain it properly. i just know that dealing with me when i am being snappy is a balancing act between calm and firm. you honestly just have to do and hope for the best. my reaction won't be good all the time, but it also won't always be bad. it honestly just depends on situation there. =/

Bloodybones chuckles lightly.

i suppose we are an old fox that reflects too much. honestly as much as i look at the past, i know i can't change it. just sometimes wish i wasn't so dumb about some things is all and wish i had someone to knock some sense into me. ^^;;

eh? i meant you as you are now. i wish you could travel back in time and slap me with some good fashion common sense is all. tho now that you bring it up...you couldn't have been that bad when you are were younger. were you?

to be honest, i dunno. sometimes i wonder if it is the way we are trained, but other times i wonder if it isn't just the world in general. being stressed out all the time and people just getting less friendly/respectful as time passes so we just gripe and complain rather than sit back and relax. contemplate and just talk. *rubs ear a bit in thought and then shakes head* who knows? maybe i am just going off on the deep end. haha ^^

well life likes to be complicated unfortunately, so i say if it decides to give us lemons we just try and make the best of what we have. i think that is all we can do at this point.
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Post by Sharaku Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:47 pm

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I suppose it is who I am. Though I’m not always even trying to be cold. It somehow just happens to look that way whatever I do. Then again, I don’t dislike it most of the time anyway. It does wonders at keeping the wrong people away, and I certainly do like my peace. It’s just a problem when I actually try to get along with someone for once. (and no, I don’t take offense to that. Unless someone is clearly just being rude and not trying to see anything else. In which case I say good riddance)

So basically random?

Except you’re not ‘that’ old. And maybe you could even do that by yourself. The fact that you’re aware of it is already progress.

…probably depends on how far back anyway. I don’t think I deal very well with younger people, unless aggravating them counts as the right thing to do for whatever reason. I honestly usually get along better with someone who is older than me. And well…you say that I appear mean and cold now….you’d probably be committing suicide over me in the past.

Everyone likes to think they are the ones that have it the worst. So they complain, expecting to have that acknowledged….except that it’s not always true, and not everyone is going to take well to that. Why it happens, I’m not sure, but I feel like a lot of weird behaviors nowadays are caused by people thinking they are special snowflakes. Sure, you can have some talents that make you better than the rest in said areas, but you’re not automatically entitled to stuff because of that alone. Why have we come to that though, I have no idea.

I want lemonade.
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Post by Rika Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:12 am

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hehe. well that is fine. as for the coldness thing well, i suppose i can't bite ya too hard for that one. i think we wall have things that works both for and against us. perhaps in a way it is our own method of screening things so we no what is nope....more or less most of the time. sometimes this screening can be faulty, but it is rare.

i guess that is a way to look at though at the same time not exactly. it's just really hard to explain without just being in the situation...and honestly we already had enough of that, so unfortunately you'll have to learn a way that works for you. in the end though don't be afraid or hesitant to say something in these situations. yes it can trigger something bad, but you never know it might do something good too.

heh. i am 'old enough', kid =P. and who knows. maybe i can though some days i really question my capabilities there. lol.

i typically like little ones or those that are either older just more mature than the usual bunch, so it is matter of finding someone i just click with in that case. And well that certainly makes it sound bad, but i suppose we will never know ^^;;. tho a bit of agitation here and there is sometimes needed to poke otherwise placid things into action imo.

perhaps so or maybe we are trained so much to want more, more, more, that we cannot be satisfied with what we have. take that and combine it with entitlement and my lot is the worst syndrome and we have a very confusing pot. i don't know when humans got this way, i just know the more that is given and the more we get access to with ease, the higher the demand for wanting becomes and also this concept of it should be free and all that jazz. i don't get honestly, but is there and i know i catch myself doing things like that too so.

Bloodybones slides one over to ya.


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enjoy!

 
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