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Sick Times Are Not Fun

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Post by Sharaku Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:34 pm

"I see the two as a similar thing...just work from a different angle..." Focus could be a form of escape too. Just focus on something and ignore your problems for a while. It could easily accomplish the same as a temporary distraction, so in the end it came down to the person and how they dealt with things. He rarely connected his 'past time' activities with issues, thus it had a very negligible effect on helping him work his problems out. A moment of peace? Maybe, but not much real help. He would purse his lips slightly at the question. "In a way. Also, work. Which now reminds me I still have a couple things I need to finish. I should try to reprogram my laptop to do it by itself...now that would be a genius invention..."
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Post by Rika Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:50 pm

"I suppose they could be one in the same. Though for me the distinction is different. When I am distracted I am escaping from things, but focused means I am not running and facing what is there in the moment." There was no peace if an emotion or mood was there. He would have to deal with it in some way to gain his peace...no matter how exhausting it was.

"Ah I see," the demon would begin before shaking his head. "It would be a genius invention and something that would probably save you from me. You need your rest. Work can come later." Yeah the guy would need to get better first. Though he wonder if he could actually stop the guy if he actually tried to work. Hmm. Well, he hoped that bridge would not be crossed.
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Post by Sharaku Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:06 am

"That's if what you focus on is the problems...but if it's something unrelated, isn't it the same as being distracted by a thing? Focusing on something else over the real issue sounds like a form of escape to me as well, unless I just understand this wrong." He didn't really see a huge difference there, but maybe that was just him. It didn't make sense to him to somehow be actually solving one's issues by focusing on a different activity. Maybe he was bad at multi-tasking? Still, if you wanted to face problems, wasn't the most effective way to in fact focus on them specifically?

In any case, he would blink at the other, before raising his arms in front of himself and making a slight zombie impression. "But worrrrkkk." Speaking of which..."Though..how would my programs save me from you? I don't think I understand that." It wasn't really that bad however. His work wasn't manually intensive anyhow, so it wouldn't be the end of the world if he did try to do it.
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Post by Rika Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:16 pm

"I suppose that depends on how much you let your mind wander from the problem or thing you are focusing on. And well, I suppose that it could be considered a distraction when the focus elsewhere and not what is in front of you." He wasn't saying what the other was saying was wrong. It's just when he said focus he really meant he was focused on a problem or what was in front of him, so he didn't see it the same as distractions. In any case, he wouldn't make too much of a fuss about it as he kept an eye on the pots.

Well that was until the other made a zombie impression that is when the work topic came up. "I am sure you can survive a while without it." He would chuckle a bit before becoming slightly more serious as he was asked a question. "Eheh. Well if you can somehow suck yourself into the computer, your programs won't be able to protect you," he would begin before lifting a hand and rubbing the back of his head as he gave the other a sheepish smile. "Though to be honest, I just messed up speaking. I meant to say that you wouldn't be saved from me. Meaning I wasn't going to just let you work without a little fuss is all." Words man. They could be difficult sometimes. Either that or he was a derp a good chunk of the time. Hmm...yeah it was probably him being a derp alright.
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Post by Sharaku Mon Jan 08, 2018 6:43 pm

"I thought...we were talking about focusing on activities such as cooking...I just don't get how that has anything to do with focus on problems? What exactly would one be facing when cooking, unless you have a beef with the chicken or something...." He had been talking mostly from the perspective of either facing a problem or running away from it, but that kind of didn't fit the choice of activities in question. Wouldn't it be the same whether you focused on cooking or got distracted by it? Your current focus would be on the cooking either way. To be honest, he had kind of lost the point the moment the other started vaguely veering away from the original subject.

In any case, he would mumble something under his breath, shaking his head. "They might do a better job than people...." What he meant by that would remain unexplained for now though. "Does it really matter what I do though?"
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Post by Rika Mon Jan 08, 2018 7:44 pm

"We were?" the demon would begin as he raised his eyebrow at the other. "I mean your mind can focus on the cooking yes, but what I was saying is that the cooking is an action that can in turn help with dealing with my own issues. Like I am aware of the cooking, but it also allows me to be aware of the problems within. The action grounds me and helps me work through the issue." Or something like that. The cooking and the problem solving had connection when he was trying to explain, but apparently they weren't on the same page, so he wondered if what he just said made things more confusing or even pointless. Hmm...Well...he'd just let that be.

In any case, he would move to stir pot with the tomatoes in and check on the chicken. They were just about ready to be combined. Just a few more minutes. That aside, the demon would continue to stir the tomato pot when he heard the comment given and on instinct simply asked: "What do you mean by that?" His tone was curious without any agitation in it suggesting he was open to whatever was said. Whether he got an answer in turn on not was yet to be seen.

Letting that topic go where it would, the demon would find himself pausing in his action of putting the spoon down for a rest as his mind went in a million directions. He could answer the question in various ways, but for once he actually forced his tongue to be still and think for a moment before answering. When he had his answer, he would put the spoon down before turning to look at the other.

"I would prefer you to just rest and not work at all; however, I cannot force you to anything. Even I fuss, I think if you really want to do something you just will regardless of my suggestion or not." It was a bit frustrating to be honest, he just wish the other would be still and let him do things for him; however, after that first incident he kind of swallowed the fact he was probably not going to get his way. Did that mean he'd just let the other do whatever? No, but he wasn't going to fight pointlessly either.


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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:19 am

Confusing? Yes. He would furrow his brows. "I don't really understand. I don't think I could do that...trying to focus on an action with problems present would either mean I end up fucking up, or just do said action mindlessly...in which case I might as well not be doing it and just focus on the issue solely." This kind of forced multi-tasking would only strain his mind with the effort to focus on two important tasks at once, and none of the outcomes of it were particularly pleasant. He couldn't be properly aware of both problems and for example cooking, because both required more than half of his mind for him to achieve the necessary results without running into walls constantly.

He would snort. "I mean that I'd be more inclined to trust a program than a person.", he'd answer in a somewhat bitter tone. As sad as that sounded, it was for the most part true, thanks to his mostly disappointing experiences with people. At least with a program, you could more or less trust it to run the way it was made to. A person was going to be unpredictable no matter what you did. Regardless, when the other answered his question, he would just blink blankly at first. To be frank, his questioning had been more along the lines of 'does anything I do matter anyway?', but in light of the situation, it was probably for the better that the other interpreted it as a jab at the fussing rather than the more 'bleak' meaning it had in reality. This was technically easier to deal with at the moment.

Still..."I..." It seemed like he was going to respond to the words at first, but then just opted to shut up, a mildly pained look crossing his face briefly. What was really going through his mind would remain unsaid for the time being, which considering the complexity of the subject, wasn't even all that surprising. This was honestly a bad timing to start poking holes into these matters as he had already pointed out a while earlier, but he was a little too tired to pretend and put on a 'normal' face to make it easier right now. As much as he was probably prompting the other to question him further this way....
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 7:35 am

Ah. Go figure. He didn't think his words were going to make things more clearer, but at least his answer was a simple one. "I'd admit multi-tasking is hard, but I can give enough focus to what I am doing to not mess up while still dealing with the issue bothering me. I guess the actions are kind of like me physically walking through the matter." It was a strange concept for sure, but then again his mind was very strange in how it approached things. Yes he could sit and face the issues head on, but for some reason he ended up more productive and calmer by doing something while facing the issues. The why behind it was a mystery to him, but it worked so he didn't poke to much into the details for himself.

That aside, he would let the items in the pots cook for a while before turning off the fire, prepping to begin the mixing of the items. As he worked, he would find himself smiling a bit at that the comment about programs. "I suppose are more reliable," he would say, his tone remaining calm and open. Programs were predictable. If they broke one could fix them and they did exactly what they were coded to do. Programs were safe. Controllable. Unlike people who were the opposite and took time to adapt to.

As for what followed...Well it was certainly a good thing he had turned off the pots because the reaction he got to his last words was worrisome to say the least. He would take in the way the other reacted and when the guy did not finish his words?

Rika would rub his arm a bit as he looked over to the side thinking, a bit before he drifted over to the other. If there was space, he would lean against the table the other was on looking at the surface as his mind whirled. He knew this was probably a bad idea, but.... "I don't want you to overwork or stress yourself out. I don't want to make sicker, but....I think....that maybe it is best to at least try to say what is on your mind. Even if it is difficult or doesn't make sense. Maybe getting it out there versus keeping it locked will help deal with the issue a bit." The demon's voice was gentle despite the slight tensions there from nerves; however, despite being anxious as the demon looked up at the other, it was clear from his expression that he wasn't going to run from this, but he wasn't doing it to impress either. He genuinely wanted to help the other and was concerned about the guy....and while whatever was happening could bring Hell to the place, the demon was willing to walk through it with the other. If...if the other let him in and let him know what was going on that is. Either way he would wait for now.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 10:03 am

"So you say...." There wasn't much more for him to say in regards to that, and it wasn't like he had much interest in arguing about the matter forever. They most likely wouldn't agree on one answer anyway, for various personal reasons, so dragging this out was pointless in its own way.

At any rate, he would remain quiet after that, not making much of a move until that problematic situation came. He would give the other a momentary stare, before shifting to move closer towards the edge of the table, bending one leg to rest it up against the table as he wrapped his arms around it slightly. He didn't seem the most enthused about the other coming over, but wouldn't say anything about it. "I'm overstressed most of the time anyway, so not like this makes much difference.", he would scoff faintly. "You have to pick though. Either focus on the food, or your sudden attempts at therapy sessions. They won't go hand in hand."
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 10:26 am

Well that topic had died and probably for the better. It wasn't like they could stretch something that just wasn't there and pointless arguing was just not the way to anything. So the demon would let that topic of differences go as something bigger came into play.

As the demon approached the other he took note of the action and also the words. To what the other said, the demon would hum as he looked down a bit, kind focusing on the other's foot since it was there. "Constantly overstressed. An agitating state to be in all the time," the demon would say softly his expression far away as he thought on something; however, he would shake his head a bit as he shifted his weight to go back to the pots.

"Well, let me complete this first task at least. We can figure out the kinks and knots of therapy sessions as we go." He would finish before moving to get the tomato soup into an actual smooth soup form and combining it with the broth the chicken had made and the chicken.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 10:41 am

"I can't tell the difference. It's all I know." It was kind of what it was. He couldn't say just how agitating it was when he didn't have much recollection of what to compare it with. He just knew it was there, but beyond that, it was a rather muddled subject. "Why can't we just leave it be though....", he would grumble under his breath, closing his eyes with a frown.
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 11:57 am

"All you know..." the demon would repeat as he let that sink in. As he worked through the implications of those words, the demon would continue to make the soup turning the chunkiness of the vegetables into something smooth to compliment the chunks of chicken. To what followed afterward, he was quiet for a moment as he put the empty pot in the sink and then hunted down a bowl. He would take a moment to put some of the now finished soup in it and after getting a spoon, he would drift over to the other with the bowl in hand.

"...If you don't want to talk. You don't have to. I was just giving you an option is all," the demon would say before coming closer to put the soup on the table next to the other. "Eat up," he would say giving the other a small smile before drifting back to the cabinets to find a bowl for himself too. What the demon truly thought was unknown, but at least he wasn't exploding all over with emotion and seemed to be calm despite it all.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:00 pm

"I don't know....", he would sigh, though he would shift to sit normally and take the bowl. As much as he seemed to only stir the spoon around in it instead of eating for the moment.
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:24 pm

The demon would fix himself a small serving of the soup before turning to look at the other as he heard the response. Holding his bowl for now, he would watch the other stirring the soup. Half of him wanted to just change the subject. You know make a poke at the soup tasting bad or something, but in the end he would just sigh a bit as he moved where he could lean against the counter.

"Don't know what?" he would ask as he continued to hold the bowl in his hand for now and watch the other.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:32 pm

He would pause in his soup mixing to glance at the other tiredly. "Whether I want to talk or not." He honestly couldn't figure that one out. On one hand, it seemed like a potentially plausible option, but on the other, staying silent was kind of less stressing by default. He didn't enjoy talking about himself. He never really did. Not to say that he's ever legitimately done it though.
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 2:52 pm

The demon would look down at his soup at that one as he fought with the side of him that was demanding the other talked. He wanted to know so much about the guy, but...he couldn't force it out of him either. He tried to pressure the guy before, but it just ended up in a fight. Still....

The demon's mouth moved as if he wanted to say something, but no words came out so he closed it again as he continued to stare at the soup his mind a train wreck of anxiety. But he needed to speak...stop being so fucking afraid of it all and backing down and what not. It would take him a moment to sort it all out as his eyebrows furrowed as he kept his eyes on the soup.

"I..." he would pause and lick his lips a nervously before trying again. "I can understand. Not wanting to share something stressful or painful or just...I don't know. Fucked I guess. And don't take this the wrong way, but...I'd be happy if you open up to me bit more, even if it is something bad. Can't we try to work it out together?" Or was he asking too much of the other. Man...why was this so hard? He was supposed to be helping the other. Not creating a stressful atmosphere for the guy.

Fuck....
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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 3:38 pm

He would tap the spoon against the edge of the bowl absentmindedly. Yes, pressuring him often ended horribly. He's spent a good chunk of his life having to bow down to the demands of others, and these days that type of approach was very apt to simply provoke him due to rubbing him the wrong way. He could fight, and he would, even if in some situations it might not be the most appropriate reaction. Nevertheless, it often just kind of happened. It was really either he froze up and did nothing, or pushed back aggressively. Rarely something in between, unless he was calm enough at that moment.

With a sigh, he would just put the bowl back down on the table for now, as he braced his hands against said table. It was probably better to let it cool a bit anyway, considering it came out of steaming pots just a moment ago. "I...just want to keep my sanity...though...answer me this if you will...you know the expression 'my way or the highway'? If you refuse to cooperate with others due to personal problems, at what point would you end up becoming the same as those who have done that to you in the first place?" The question could be vague in a sense, and the other could potentially interpret it his way, but the overall meaning should hopefully be clear enough there...
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 3:56 pm

The demon would continue to hold the bowl not seeming to mind the warmth from it as his eyes drifted up to the other as he spoke. When he heard what was said, he would nod a bit at the expression before looking off to the side in thought.

"I suppose we become products of what we are exposed to. Sometimes we end up mimicking it and sometimes we just submit or fight against situations that remind us of those times. I am not sure when the behavior starts or ends. I just know at some point the mind makes a decision to do something whether the choice is good or not." He would shake his head as he gave a smile that was more of wince. "I think I am going off track a bit. I don't know the when. I just know it happens after experiencing, behaving, or being exposed to something over time. How quick it occurs I think depends on the person, but how permanent it is....I think time only solidifies the matter." Was he even answering the question properly. He wasn't sure, but with such a question he gave his best answer.
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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:20 pm

He would narrow his eyes. "I don't want to be like them. But I can't just keep letting people tell me how to live my life either. In the end, I'm damned whatever I do.", he would stare into the distance with a somewhat conflicted expression on his face.
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:35 pm

The demon would wince a bit before shifting to drift over to the other. He would sit his own bowl down quietly before looking over at the other. "What do you mean by that? Who don't you want to be like?" Questions that would probably open a gate to who knows what, but he couldn't help, but wonder. Besides without being on the same page how helpful was he going to be to the other.


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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 4:54 pm

"Aliens.", he would answer in a dry deadpan at first, making it hard to say what he really thought about the questioning. Perhaps he had kind of expected it though, as he didn't appear to be too surprised by it, despite the gritty initial response. Nevertheless, he would shift to rest his chin on his hand with a sigh. "My parents...."
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 5:10 pm

Rika would give a very soft sigh at the first response, not really finding it surprising at all. The guy did like to keep things to himself, so why would this be new. Perhaps the demon would've made some response that would have him backing off the subject, but then... the other did the unexpected. He answered the question.

"...Your parents?" the demon asked as he looked over at the other wanting more, but not exactly pushing heavily for it. He didn't want the other to feel pressured into this after all. He just wanted to understand....
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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 5:32 pm

Right. "Parenting skill level -100 I suppose.", he would shake his head with a frown. "I was only really any good to them if I did exactly as they expected. So there is that.", he would shrug slightly.
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Post by Rika Tue Jan 09, 2018 5:48 pm

That didn't sound like good parenting at all and what the other said about his worth to them...Rika would bite his lip a bit as he looked down. "...What happened if you didn't do that?"
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Post by Sharaku Tue Jan 09, 2018 5:56 pm

He would scratch his cheek slightly. "I usually got forced to one way or another, though I suppose if I really didn't, I'd end up getting told off a lot.", he'd sigh. "I had reasons to not want to push my luck too much though..." It would have just been a whole lot more complicated if he did.
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