Now the game's on

Well, if nothing else, things seemed to be calming down for the time being. He couldn’t know what the other was thinking exactly, and the guy didn’t talk about things very excessively, but the situation didn’t appear to be in a dangerous territory for now. That said, he had done a lot of talking already, thus he would take a bit of a break this time around mostly just sticking to acknowledging he was listening to the other at first, until the moment where the demon spoke about friction and confusion, at which he would shake his head slightly. ‘’I wasn’t really referring to that. I meant more so the ‘talking about things until even a plant would understand it’ part. Though I suppose the end result of that can turn out to be friction as well.’’ He was certainly capable of prodding an issue to no end, which would typically end in one of two ways. They would work it out somehow, or the person would nope it and send him to hell for trying that. And well, while the other was overcomplicating matters, he was often trying to oversimplify things instead. Or just find a very simple sounding solution, and then having the person tell him they couldn’t really do that for whatever reason. Which ended with him wondering what was he doing wrong. That was a story for another day though.

Speaking of doing things wrong, was any approach really better than the rest? All of them probably had their own use when done right, so perhaps the guy just needed to apply his thinking to something else instead. Of course, that does leave a hole in the current matter, but most likely everyone had some sort of a blind spot. ‘’Well, good luck with that I suppose. I don’t think I can really help you with doing that. Explaining a thinking process isn’t simple.’’ Not even when it was one that you frequently used. It happens easily, but putting how it works into words? Not always an easy task to accomplish, and sometimes nearly impossible to do in a way that could actually help another person get a good grasp on how to use it.

He would shrug. ‘’Who knows. Though to be honest, if my intention was to do it on my own and not talk with anyone, I’d simply seek to avoid company in the first place. Having someone try to keep hugging me and offering nothing beyond statements akin to ‘it’ll be okay’ tends to just irritate me unless it’s a person I like having around enough for it to not feel like pretty much a waste of the ‘quiet’. It’s not really quiet if I can’t quite focus on myself because someone’s presence constantly distracts me from it. I personally don’t think I can focus on figuring anything out properly unless I am comfortable enough with the person that they don’t come across as a bother to my thinking. Sometimes the distraction just isn’t worth it.’’ If the timing was right, then perhaps it could be of some help, but only if the positives managed to outweigh the negatives there. Which…more or less tended to require pretty specific settings to work for him at times. And him being willing to look that way in front of someone. Sure, the situation may not be very different at core, but it gives a different vibe when you calmly talk about it, and when you hold onto someone in a hug for dear life. He wasn’t very comfortable with coming across as a sniffling fool, no matter how badly he was doing, and subsequently, it didn’t better his situation either. So it would take a really careful approach if one wanted to make it work. He could sure be difficult with that, but it wasn’t completely on purpose. Though this was in a way a general thing. He simply wasn’t extremely into the whole reassuring touching thing when the person doing it didn’t matter to him enough. If someone he didn’t really know tried to do that, he would just be ‘gtfo, you’re only making me uncomfortable’. There had to be something to actually inspire a meaningful connection of a sort. Simply ‘doing’ it was pointless.

Anyway…

‘’Well, I wouldn’t know anyway. I’m not exactly a therapist.’’ Although he sure did good at making himself sound like one at times. Which could be mildly amusing. Regardless, he only worked with what he had at hand, really. He had no way to confirm his own guesses most of the time, even if he did put a lot of reasoning into them. Maybe there was a way, but he was no professional to know that much. Besides, whatever the demon did about it all was up to him in the end. He could only speak his own mind while they were at it and hope it did have some sort of impact.

…and sometimes the silliest things happened to do that too. Even though that wasn’t even really his intended result. He just went with what happened since the other saw it fit to question him. And it sure took a somewhat odd turn, since the guy chose to go with it after some confusion. Not that he understood what was so confusing since he thought he was pretty straightforward when he said what he wanted and why. Maybe not in detail, but the point was that the other would have to listen to get the details for why.

Speaking of why’s, he wasn’t sure what the other was really doing, but he would stick to just watching the demon in mild amusement. He always found that it looked kind of ridiculous when people did that at random, and even more so when the rest couldn’t even hear the source of it, but to each their own? In any case, he could only wait thing out at that point, which is what he would do, taking his stuff back when it was given to him, alongside a small shrug. ‘’I don’t really have specific preferences, as long as it sounds good and maybe has some meaningful lyrics. If it comes down to genres, the only one I tend to consistently dislike is rap.’’ Honestly, the type didn’t matter as much if the song was done well enough. Just as well as it could happen to suck ass even when it was from a genre you claimed to love in general….

It was true that Rika did not go deep into things, but maybe that was because he either didn’t see the need to, wasn’t ready, or perhaps just wasn’t poked enough to get the deeper source. He could be very contemplative and a bit reluctant to speak his faults into the air. It was uncomfortable, though once they were out there, the demon typically felt better. It was the same here even if the conversation wasn’t super deep.

Having another he could just talk to was kind of odd after being alone with his own shit for so long. It was odd and scary, but perhaps good. Like on his own, he could fight, journal, go to the therapist, and all that. That was all well and good, but at the same time despite fighting it alone, it was kind of nice to be able to share the issues with another that wasn’t family or a doctor. It was odd, but somehow even this rather bumpy event had done a lot more for the demon than one would expect. Sure it didn’t cure everything, but at least this tiny step gave him a tad bit of hope that maybe in the end it would indeed be alright for them and even himself. It was kind of a nice booster that he typically did not have even after fighting alone. Maybe this is what it meant to work together and be okay with relying on people from time-to-time.

Regardless of that things would indeed calm down, the demon not minding the other being quiet and just listening. Sometimes he didn’t need someone talking to him, but rather someone to just listen. It was a simple act and maybe to some pointless, but for Rika the quiet at times did wonders.  

When the other did eventually respond back, the demon would nod a bit at that one. “Ah. Well sometimes simple is better. Even more so when the other side is already tangled in a complicated web.” Yes oversimplifying was just as bad as overcomplicating, but still sometimes both worked to counteract the other when things were a bit too much. Over-simplifying could put things into perspective, while overcomplicating could at times bring things to the table that wasn’t thought of before. It was odd, but things seemed to work out that way.

Speaking of things being complicated or simplified the next few things that occurred next would fall into the latter category.

“You don’t have to worry too much about it. You being you and doing what you’ve done here is more than enough.” It was true. The while the demon was indeed looking for ways to pull his own self back from his problems to see them clearer at the same time he wasn’t expecting the other to teach him what to do or even attempt to. No he would find a way to stand on his own. All he needed from the other was for him to just be him and nothing else really. Even if he did tell someone what he’d like to do or planned to do that did not mean he was instantly grabbing them by the hand and pulling them along. No. He walked most path alone and if another wanted to join him then it would be because they choose to not because he forced them too.

As for that next topic, the demon would give him a gentle smile.

“Well you have your own way of dealing with things and I respect that; however, I don’t think you are fully understanding what I mean when I ask you to hold me. Yes talking it out is nice and I am not against that. I don’t want to necessarily here it will be okay….cause in the end...for me those are just words. However, it is something beyond just words that I desire with what I speak of,” he would pause as his eyes turned skyward for a bit thinking on how to explain it and then giving up on that route he would try another. “Hmmm. Maybe it’s just better to explain this way,” he would mutter to himself and then looking back at the other, he would tilt his head slightly. “I don’t have words exactly, but maybe this will help. May I?” he would ask as he gave the other a quiet, but clear signal that he wished to come closer. It was a strange move considering how invasive or bold the demon could be with things, but this time around he didn’t think that was the best choice. No what he was doing here was a bit different. He wanted to somewhat show or teach what he meant. Give a demonstration of what he was expecting from the other. He wasn’t sure if this would work and honestly it depended on how cooperative the other was, but still if the other wanted to understand him then perhaps a bit of gentle teaching to give a very loose guideline of a sort was okay. He understood they were on completely different pages with this, but then again. It was exactly because of that he attempted to do what he was about to do now.

Well while he waited to see what happened there, he would address some simpler things that came his way.

“No, you aren’t a therapist,” the demon would say as he gave the other a small smile of amusement. “But then again. I don’t need you to be. It is...kind of nice just talking it out ya know and you listening.  And also knowing it ain’t scaring ya away.” It honestly did feel good, especially after fighting it alone for so long. Perhaps outside of professional help and things he was doing to try and get a handle on it all….maybe all he really needed outside of someone who could accept him was one that could listen to him to. Did that mean he would always drag the other down with him? No, but it was nice knowing the option was there.

Speaking of options, it seemed that what may have been a simple thing to Sharaku became a case of overthinking for a few seconds for Rika when he was offered the phone and earbuds. He would take it alright, but did he plan to just randomly do what he did? Not really, but hey the beat was catchy and the reason he was grinning wasn’t so much because of the music itself, but rather the words he heard. It may have seen silly, but he could relate to the lyrics and somehow translated what he was hearing and the guy’s actions as some form of telling him it would be okay...or at least helping him distress through something else. He wasn’t quite sure what it was. What he did know though was that by the time that song ended, he was feeling a bit better than where he had started off, so perhaps this was good.

“Mmm. We are similar and must admit it helps when something doesn’t hurt the ears. Though we do not like country or jazz that sounds like noise only. Rap...we can do the older stuff, but the new stuff not so much. Lyrics are alright, but I love instrumental  best though it isn’t genre tied.” Despite his love for instrumental or the powerful songs of opera and the theater in general, he didn’t restrict himself to what he listened to and even for some genre he didn’t care for there were a few pieces that came out here and there he did like. So there was that.

What. For a moment, he would just give the guy a mildly confused look. Don’t get him wrong, but he kind of didn’t really understand what was the demon trying to refer to with his statement. Or how exactly was it related, for that matter. Was that supposed to mean that his talking out was no good and that simple could be better? Or was the guy trying to say it was good and calling his talking simple while doing it? Because he couldn’t figure that one out. Nor was he sure how the comment about being tangled had a lot to do with potential friction he had spoken about. It just felt like the response was a little bit off to him, unless he simply wasn’t understanding what the guy wanted to say. Then again, he didn’t think it was important enough to start another impromptu in-depth conversation about it all just because of confusions, thus he would choose not to actually inquire about the more detailed meaning of it. Although there was a chance he may have to say something if Rika prodded him about it…Ah well…

Moving onto less confusing things however, he would raise an eyebrow slightly at that statement. ‘’I don’t remember claiming I was worrying. If you say so, though.’’ Yes, he had said he probably couldn’t help the guy with learning how to think differently, but that was more or less just him saying it as a fact, to make sure the demon would be aware of that. It wasn’t because he was worried that it meant he wasn’t going to be doing enough to help due to that. If that had been the case, he would have likely worded himself rather differently. While he sometimes did worry, often he just said things for the sake of putting them out there. It’s better for information to be available than for it to be hiding, right? At least when it is something that is pretty much for certain.

Sigh. That wasn’t really it. Well, he couldn’t know whether the demon really meant only what he said there, but if that was the case, then he was trying to appeal in the wrong direction. While he had mentioned the ‘random words of encouragement’ in his explanation, and the fact that it was a bit of an annoyance remained, it’s not like it was his main problem. He could be bothered even by a person who was trying to hug him without words. He would frown slightly. ‘’Words can be useless, yes, but that wasn’t even my main point. I just mentioned it because many people like to add that to their hugging advances. I’m not saying that they’re the only real thing that bothers me, nor was I trying to assume that it’s what you want.’’ His reasons went way beyond that simple tidbit, as much as it was known to add onto his woes. To be honest, people babbling useless stuff was the main thing that caused him to be irritated, while the rest of the matter was more about being uncomfortable or awkward in some way. He didn’t enjoy the feeling, and it could in fact happen both when he was the one down and when he was supposed to be comforting someone else. Just with slightly different triggers at play. What he was ultimately trying to say there though, wasn’t that he didn’t get why the other would want to do it. It was just that despite it being a thing the guy wanted, it didn’t mean he was going to feel good were he to have to do it.

He would sigh faintly. ‘’Go ahead if you want to though.’’ He wasn’t going to say no. Whatever the guy wanted to do shouldn’t hurt him, and perhaps it would help make things clear? Both of them sometimes did better at explaining what was up through showing it, so maybe this would help in its own way, whoever would become the winner at the end. What was the guy trying to do though? He severely doubted that the demon attempting to cuddle him or such was not going to tell him anything he didn’t know yet. It would be no different than any other situation where that happens, and if this was only about letting him know what was the wanted goal, then once again, nothing really new. Unless he was just that dumb, and didn’t even know that he was missing something else there. He had no idea what that would be though.

Anyway, whatever that would lead to, time to move on for the time being. ‘’Well, it’s not like it can hurt me. Though sometimes I do wonder whether I have to worry about how things like this will affect my own mental state.’’ Really however. How did real therapists handle that? Listening to people’s problems all day long and finding ways to fix them? It had to be rather draining on one’s own mind to do that so much. Plus, it can be pretty unpleasant in some situations. And it’s one thing to do that once in a while, like in his case, and to be doing it as a job. How do people like that not go insane themselves after a longer period of time? Well, maybe some of them do, but he wouldn’t know…After all, being a therapist or a psychologist doesn’t make you immune to mental issues.

As for what his aim was with the music distraction….nothing specific, to be completely honest. He just happened to think of how the song in question was ironically fitting for the situation, and technically for both of them in some way. And it all went from there. After all, he couldn’t have possibly known what effect it would have on the guy. For all he knew, the demon could have found it upsetting for some reason, or it could have put him in an even worse mood by pointing out certain things. Then again, while he did not have an actual ulterior motive behind his choice of action, it wouldn’t be entirely wrong to assume that he wanted things to be okay. Perhaps, sometimes one didn’t need to have a deliberate plan in order to make that happen. A natural progression can indeed have more impact than something that has been more or less scripted. Assuming that one can make it happen, which can be tricky, seeing as it’s not even supposed to be something that you ‘try’ to make happen. Because that would already make it a planned occurrence…

Hmmm. He would play with a few strands of his hair absentmindedly. ‘’I think any type of song can come off as noise only. Can’t say how specific it is genre wise. As for rap, I just think that it sounds like someone trying too hard to make talking seem like it’s actually singing. That, and it’s often so fast that the words in question are nearly incomprehensible.’’ Many rap songs came off as some dude trying to yell words in the rhythm of the background music. It was like listening to a string of nonsense, outside of maybe a few lucky songs where the talk was slow and articulated enough for him to understand and actually fully register before it was over. Still, if he wanted to hear more or less just talk, he didn’t really need a song that makes it sound try-hard for it, now did he? ‘’I prefer lyrics because it keeps me focused on the song. Have me listen to pure instrumental, and I likely won’t be able to remember what exactly I had been listening to a few minutes later. It’s like it goes one ear in and the other out if I listen solely to varying tunes, unless I make the point of learning its script. You know, like learning how to actually play that on an instrument. It won’t stick otherwise, and I just end up feeling like I wasted the songs if I didn’t pay proper attention to them.’’ He would shrug lightly. It was what it was, really. It was really hard for him to follow instrumental songs properly unless he had a good understanding of how they happened. With lyrics, words are something catchy, and they can be burned to memory way easier, thus providing something to use as a base. He could recall the tune of a song if he knew some of its lyrics. Instrumental though? Usually fat chance.

To the confused look given and the silence given, Rika would watch the other for a few seconds before looking away with a shake of his head, a small smile on his lips as he spoke. “Alright. Where did I lose you?” he would ask in gentle tones. He was pretty sure his words were clear enough, but how often he and the other ended up on different pages, it was no telling how the other translated what was being said. It was true the demon could just ignore the look and leave the other in the dark, but he honestly didn’t want that. He was sure along this strange path, there probably had been opportunities to pry more at things, but thanks to both of them being more or less quiet and kind of keeping their own things to themselves silences occurred. And honestly, if one wanted to be on the same page with the other that trend could not continue. So the demon decided to be the slightly more vocal one this round to try. So for better or worse he would wait and see what happened.

Speaking of same page…

“Heh. No you didn’t,” the demon said the small smile remaining as the demon’s behavior remained relatively chilled for the time being. It was strange how one minute he could be bubbly and then the next frustrated and then another as calm as a placid lake again. It was odd, but just how Rika was, so whoo there. That off topic note aside though….Maybe the other kind of took his words to literally on the worry part. For the demon it had just been a figure of speech to kind of say, I’ll take care of it on my own and perhaps through observation he could find other tools to tackle his issues. It wasn’t that he was noping help completely or noping what the other was doing here, but rather he didn’t find it fair to rely on the other for everything. Yes help was nice and all, but what good was it if you couldn’t help your own self and fight to stand on your own two feet again? At least for the demon that sort of action seemed pointless and self-defeating.

Well that portion of the interaction was either dying off or just going rather smoothly. Either way, Rika wouldn’t complain about it as time ticked on and they moved into a subject that was not as easy to tackle: explaining the hugging business. Now while Rika did approach this differently it wasn’t completely out of caution that he did this, but rather he was highly aware the other viewed the hugging/touching business way differently than him. It occurred with the bike and they had touched on the matter somewhere along the line...or at least he thought they did. Hmmm...Yeah they probably did. Don’t judge my bad memory! Besides that isn’t even the point here. The point here was that enough friction had come due to the tocuhing topic that the demon knew better than to always try and surprise the guy with it. This time around, he asked due to respect to the other’s view point and feelings on the matter.

He did not wish to force this upon him. After all this was a thing that was for him...though if the other could enjoy it or learn to enjoy it all the more better. Even so, he didn’t want to leave the other side feeling awakard all the time, so what he was doing here was a demonstration, but also a test to see just how bad of an idea this actually was. If the other did let him near, but was like nope, nope the whole way then the demon would cease what he was doing and just make a note that wasn’t going to work no matter how much he desired it to be different. He would deal with whatever happened as it came and so this odd process would begin.

“No?” the demon began before pausing as he was given permission to come closer. Staying more or less calm the demon would nod before he shifted in his spot coming closer to the other and then after a bit of shifting about, he would position himself so that his legs were stretched out a bit along the bench before he leaned back his wings disappearing so that they wouldn’t poke the other uncomfortably as his flatten a bit against his own leg. He wouldn’t attempt to reposition the other’s arm or anything like that, giving the other free reign of what he wanted to do or not do. Regardless once he was where he wanted to be, the demon would close his eyes a bit taking a moment to enjoy the warmth of the other against his body. It was nice, but even so he wouldn’t take advantage of this as he rested his hands lightly across his stomach and reopened his eyes staring at the trees that rested to the side of them. “What else about this makes you uncomfortable?” he would ask gently his body and senses on high alert for any signals from the other that he did not want this to continue though his own body remained relatively relaxed.

Staying where he was for now, he would continue the other conversations that they were having.

“Well it is good you are steady like that, but I would have to agree. Too much of this can be a huge weight and can indeed break you. Thus why I thought to warn you beforehand...Though the delivery was very poor and the trigger all wrong. I shouldn’t have done that and honestly I have no idea why that came up. Things were going nicely and then that happened. I often wonder about my brain sometimes…” he would say with a sigh and then closing his eyes a bit a light smile would come to his lips. “And now I am going back towards the darkness. Jeez, this was suppose to be fun not a mess….Sorry.” He honestly hated the way this had turned out. He probably had stressed the other out and maybe even knocked his confidence down in this working. Still...they were still doing this thing so maybe this was saying something despite all the negative and missteps? He didn’t know and he wouldn’t let his mind get to carried away with that one as he reopened his eyes again and he focused on the convo about music.

“I never saw rap like that. It is more like the sound and content changed in a way I did not like so I just stopped listening to it. Not all rap is bad though there are still some good ones out there, just got find them.” Rap music wasn’t his favorite genre, but occasional some good things came out of it so that was that. As for the rest of what was said.

“I suppose we are different. Lyrics are nice, but they aren’t always what make the song. Meaning is nice sure, but I think I find the value of it through living through the music. Like feeling it. I can feel and adore lyrical songs, but I find that the biggest majority comes from instrumental. I don't need lyrics to concentrate on, but then again I think that is because I sink myself fully in and don’t try to figure out how it works. I don’t want the score, I just want to experience it and then judge from there if it valuable and has meaning to me.” They each had their own way of listening to music and as usual it seems they were quite different in their view, but that was okay. Would be boring if they were completely the same.

Le picture for the positioning on bench:

Nope. Nice try but no. He wasn’t about to get into this. Maybe had it been a different subject, one that he cared about enough, or was just of great importance in general, but as it was, this was not something he wanted to keep going in circles about. There just wasn’t enough of a point, really. First, he would have to find a way to explain himself thoroughly on this, and then have the other do the same, probably followed by a different set of less than complete understanding of the subject. He didn’t think it was worthy with this particular topic at hand. He would half shrug. ‘’Somewhere on the moon I guess.’’ Whatever man. He wasn’t looking to really get rid of the silences that much. Yes, sometimes it would actually be beneficial to not let a matter go too easily, but that was surely not true all the time. He would find it rather frustrating to always circle back around to something just because of some minor thing.

Speaking of minor things…okay? Well, he didn’t have much to say to that, since the other just kind of confirmed his own words with that. Though whether what he had said was really him taking it too literally was a question. He hadn’t necessarily thought about how precise the worry matter was, but if nothing else, he supposed the guy didn’t word it that way for absolutely no reason. One way or another though, he wasn’t taking the whole matter super seriously to begin with, so the meaning behind it was kind of just there for the time being. After all, if he chose to worry, the demon wouldn’t be able to stop him that easily just by saying that he ought not to. Yeah, he did what he wanted alright, and it’s not like this type of action would hurt the other.

Moving onto towards the whole huggy matter. Touching in general was just a complex matter for him, but at the same time, the other probably didn’t need to think about it too hard. The more the guy tried to figure out the right direction to take, the more strained the interaction would likely become, and that was no good for the long-term. If things were to come out alright, they eventually would even without constant attempts at looking for the best possible choice of action in the area. Because there was frankly none, as much of the variables in the equation depended on the atmosphere, his current mood, and even his current stance with the person who was trying to touch him. And that didn’t really mean the most obvious stance there, but those little things that changed pretty quickly based on how the interacting went over time. There was just no way to completely predict his reaction to attempts at close contact, and Rika would probably do better once he just gave up pondering it hard and tried to simply be open to whatever went there. It was rarely truly bad, regardless of what his reaction ended up being. If it was bad, the other would sure know, because that’s when he took the more extreme measures, such as pushing a person away straight up, or actually being very unpleasant about the matter.

For the time being, he wouldn’t really move an inch when the other leaned against him as he simply watched what was happening. Well, as well as he could watch the guy due to their position, that is. He wasn’t reacting in any major way as he more or less just sat there like before, giving a low huff once the question came. ‘’It’s…not really this. I don’t mind the touch for what it is. It’s more like….the ‘why’ behind it? I don’t know how to explain this. I just don’t feel as comfortable when the vibe of the situation itself is negative in some way. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean something extremely bad…but it’s like…I don’t know, try to compare hugging someone when you’re having a good time with them and when they try to push a hug on you after you had a fight with them and the two of you are still upset about the whole matter in some way. Would those two instances feel the same for you? I just…feel weird doing this when things aren’t okay in some way or form.’’ Well, he tried to explain okay. The best way he knew how to at the moment at least. He had no exact facts to go on there, but perhaps the vagueness would work if he appealed to the guy’s own experiences somehow? Albeit, he had no reason whether such stuff mattered any to the guy. For all he knew, the demon might not see any difference between cuddling regardless of what brought it on initially. In which case…ah well? He’d have to try something else there. For now though, let’s stick with option number one.

‘’Hmm….’’, he would hum to himself for a moment, thinking about the words that were said next. ‘’Well, what happened, happened. Luckily for you, I think I don’t break as easy as that. It’s something that comes once you’ve went through some sort of hell yourself.’’, he would snort under his breath faintly. He had his own struggles alright. Mostly past ones that is, but even that counts when coming across something else later in life, does it not? ‘’Either way, I won’t deny that you might want to work on your delivery sometimes. The impact of what you do or say may vary depending on when you choose to bring it up.’’ It was true that the demon could certainly have chosen a better time to drop the bomb than in the middle of what they had been doing. There was no way that wouldn’t have killed the mood in at least some way, so it would probably have been a better topic for a time when they weren’t engaged in a different kind of activity already. Or at least one that was more insignificant. That, or maybe the guy could have found a way to bring the matter up in a more progressive way instead of just slapping it out there with a big boom like that. It’s harder to swallow things when they just pop out of nowhere with no previous warning of sorts.

Time for a random music break though. ‘’I never liked the idea of it much for what it was. It’s just not really interesting in my opinion.’’ He didn’t know much about older songs in that genre, but to be honest, it likely wasn’t different enough to change his overall opinion on those types of ‘songs’. He’d rather listen to anything else before that. He would shrug lightly. ‘’Sure, a good tune helps make a song good, but to say that just having an assortment of different sounds inspires much feeling in me wouldn’t be very correct. If I can’t associate it with anything that holds some meaning to me, then it’s really just some random tune I’ll forget a while later to me. I’d really rather spend the time learning how to play a song than listening to it if the only selling point it has is that it’s a slightly different assortment of sounds than the one next to it.’’ So many instrumental songs could sound very similar and all that. There weren’t many he would find memorable enough after listening to them, and even then it helped if he could associate them with something he found interesting. Like a soundtrack from a game he enjoyed playing that also happened to be nice to listen to. Or anything of the kind. It was kind of rare for him to happen to remember an instrumental song he’s once heard to a point where he would easily recognize it the next time it was played somewhere though. They tended to be rather…forgettable to him by base.

“Mmm. Well, I hope you don’t drift too far away lest I have to get a shuttle to retrieve you,” the demon would say with a light smile not seeming to bothered that the other did not dig deeper into the matter. Sure clarity was nice and all, but if the other didn’t want to dig into a matter then he wouldn’t make him. It wasn’t like not having the other understand him fully this round would actually matter. Yes he had said some words that were may have seemed random, but they did indeed relate to the situation; however, if the other saw it not important to poke at then perhaps the translation error wasn’t so bad after all. So letting that one go, he would let things pass on into silence?

Mmm, yes. Silence indeed. Well it was not like there was much to really speak of there. Rika didn’t exactly make a statement that could be responded to in any sort of fashion that wouldn’t sound forced. It was true that small talk could be made, but after the way things had gone perhaps this bout of silence was actually needed. Both to get somewhat away from talking about all the bad stuff and also to give the space needed for the pair to perhaps think or even air out their heads a bit. Whether the silence was good or not, probably didn’t really matter. What did matter was that it came and as long as it remained, Rika made no move or effort to disrupt it. The silence would last for a while, the demon remaining in his own mind for the time being. Though when he as done thinking and perhaps the silence had gotten tired of lingering, Rika would venture out into reality again to interact with the other in a way that may or not have been good.

You see the matter that this silence flowed into was an odd one: The hug. While Rika was doing this more so to try and teach the other a small thing about himself. He knew it probably wouldn’t go as planned. He did not expect the other to cooperate or respond in the normal fashion. The guy already said, he had an issue with this and while he agreed, the demon wasn’t quite sure if this would be pleasant or not. Sure, he the guy let him lean against him, but as expect the guy remained still showing this one pretty one sided. Heh. Go figure; however, the demon wouldn’t budge himself taking the blow even if it was uncomfortable to do. When he asked his question, the other would huff and answer and to what was heard? Well….

“Ah,” the demon said, his voice calm and soft as before as he continued to watch the trees. “I can understand that. The situations aren’t the same. When one is happy and enjoying themselves, the hug can indeed boost the mood. As for the negative...well, I suppose it depends on how you translate the hug. I guess for some not used to it or perhaps just not geared towards this sort of comforting the contact can be uncomfortable and perhaps even make the situation worse. For others like me, the touch is calming. Even if it was a fight and nothing is quite right, the hug at least let’s me know that the other understands me and in turn its gonna be alright. Sure it isn’t perfect at the moment, but we are still here….Still can work it out. For me it just helps," the demon would pause and then with a inward sigh, he would do something surprising: he’d actually move off the guy, his positioning shifting so that he was once more sitting by the other. The space between them was still close, but not close enough that they were touching.

It was kind of odd to do this, the comfort that the touch brought leaving him a bit uncomfortable, but he couldn’t just do that to another. Touch had different meanings for everyone and well if the other didn’t exactly like or felt comfortable with this form of it, then the demon could respect that and adapt. It was a bit hard, but at least he wasn’t crying or making a fuss of it as he watched the spirits ahead quietly for a bit his expression calm making it hard to tell what was going on in his head.

He would remain quiet for a bit, his down turned ears twitching lightly as he heard the other hum and turned his head a bit to look at him when he spoke.

“Heh. I suppose I am lucky,” he would say with a light smile and then looking back at the ground, his brows would furrow a bit as he thought. “Some sort of hell? What form of Hell have you suffered?” The demon’s question was a gentle pry, but whether the other actually answered was another matter completely. Still he had to wonder. The other phrased his words that way just for the hell of it. As for the last part, the demon would nod in agreement there, but otherwise say nothing. There was honestly nothing to say in response to a fact like that. What he did back then could’ve very destroyed the whole situation and who knows what sort of cracks it actually put in the relationship even now. Yes what happened, did happen, but even if they got over the hill so to speak, the damage was still there in some fashion and probably put more walls between them rather than broke them. It meant he might have to work that much more harder to repair it all, but the demon would just deal with what he had and pray that in the future ugly things like this would come at times more appropriate or better than this….whatever that meant.

Those heavy matters aside, things would seem to change a bit when music got involved somehow. While it didn’t cure the problem it certainly helped make the air a tad bit lighter than before.

“Mmm. I see,” the demon would hum/purr lightly. Well everyone had their own taste in music and how they viewed it. For him the older school rap was easier to understand and actually had meaning. Plus the tunes were pretty catchy, but meh. To each their own.

This trend of differences in taste would flow into the next topic of instrumental music it would seem. “Well, I suppose it is different for each person. I personally don’t mind not learning the songs or how they are structured. I just like experiencing them and going with the emotions they feel me with and if I adore it? Well it either becomes a song I play a ton or I might find an arrangement for it for the harp or piano.” Some songs were just that songs, but others were so powerful that even he was intrigued enough to try and figure out how it worked. Still those were far and few inbetween, but they were there.

‘’I’ll find my way.’’ Or something. Whatever in the end. He wasn’t that badly lost anyway. But yes, he would rather not expand on this whole matter this time around. It wasn’t one he felt like going in circles about potentially if they could just avoid it by not getting too deep in the first place. Of course, doing this would also mean an extended silence of sorts, but for the time being, he didn’t mind it. Selective conversation was find with him more often than not. If talk fades out, trying to immediately replace it by bringing up something else randomly can just feel awkward at times, and in many cases, he would rather take the silence instead. Unless it went on forever, to the point that it became an uncomfortable sort of quiet, it probably wasn’t a bad thing. A break in a conversation could be helpful for many reasons.

Moving onto the complex matters though…it was almost amusing. For how more feely the guy naturally seemed to be, he was apparently pretty straightforward when it came to this. Hugs = good, in almost any case, based on what was being said. Sadly for the other however, he had to run through more variables than that to get to the final ‘feeling’, and it didn’t necessarily need to be a positive one even if a hug may seem like it should imply something positive simply for what it is. In fact, he was probably just way more sensitive towards this whole matter than the other was in the end. Which was perhaps unusual, as you’d expect the more emotional person to be the one with a wider feelings range of sorts. As unusual as the fact that said difference was actually causing sizeable issues between them, or so it would appear.

He wasn’t the happiest about this whole thing, that was for sure. When the demon chose to move away, he would cross his arms over his chest as he looked off to the side with a sigh. ‘’I don’t quite….even associate touch with comfort for the most part, unless it’s done just right in such a situation. It may be super simple for you, but for example something akin to what you’ve done a moment ago doesn’t do much for me. ‘Let me just randomly lean on you’ does not really translate to much in the comfort area. For me, it won’t work just because it is a touch, no matter what kind and when. There needs to be more in the intent than just that.’’ It was…complicated alright. It wasn’t that he would always nope any kind of touching in a negatively charged situation, but if one wanted him to play along genuinely, it would have to be done the right way. The type of touch, and even the timing could matter greatly to him. For example, sometimes one could achieve more by just trying to hold hands instead of a crushing full-on hug, despite the fact that the latter may initially seem like what one would call a more engaging option. He could be pretty particular when it came to ‘comfort touching’. Sometimes even other touching reasons, to be honest. People wouldn’t win him over if they thought he’d be swayed easily, by any kind of close contact. ‘’Besides, I can’t really see it that way. People can have many reasons for doing it. They could hug you simply because they pity you. Or they may do it because they don’t want to deal with your shit and think that the hug raises their chances of you just shutting up and not complaining anymore. Depending on the person, it may just have nothing to do with ‘understanding’ on their part. Which is why I personally prefer to lean towards a method of comfort that seems most genuine in the given situation. Rather than seeking to rely on only one style, which can go really wrong with some people. If I can’t do a certain thing without it coming across as not entirely sincere, I might as well not. I mean, I’m sure you can tell when it just isn’t what it could be, otherwise you wouldn’t be pulling away now. Is there a point in stubbornly trying to make one way work exactly how you want it to, when the given situation just doesn’t seem to support it well?’’ He would think it kind of bad to only really accept one way. Well, you can sure have a preference if nothing else, but being hung up on it may just mislead you sometimes. It could always be that a person is trying to comfort you in their own way, because it’s what they think they can do best at that moment, but you wouldn’t be seeing it, because you’d be too focused on wanting that hug instead. He’s seen those kinds of people before, and it can be quite the trouble at times. Mainly if someone is really trying, but all they receive is being ‘scolded’and kind of pushed away for not giving the person exactly what was ‘expected’ of them. Some people could be really rude when it came to getting their way, which was sad.

Either way, there was not much to add to the discussion right then and there, so he would give the other the space to say something, moving onto the other matters meanwhile. He would shake his head lightly when the demon questioned him. ‘’I think we’ve had enough of the dumps for today as is. It’s probably not a good idea to bring up another depressive topic. If you’re really badly interested, then maybe it’d just be best to deal with that on some other day.’’ He didn’t want the mood to go even lower than it already was right there and then. If they wanted to still make some good out of this date, then cluttering it with more depressiveness was probably a bad idea. He’d think it best for them to maybe set aside a specific time for talks like these if possible, rather than them being dissected at random, possibly souring the rest of the experiences happening around it.

Thankfully, they would eventually switch over to a more lighthearted topic, as out of place as it was. Well, songs weren’t necessarily his biggest interest in life, but it was sure a better choice than always staying in the depths of negativity of some sort. ‘’And that’s it. I rarely feel any specific emotions from listening to a song. Even with lyrics, it’s more or less rare. It may happen if something happens to have a lot of meaning to me, but outside of that, it’s just to fill a silence or distract myself for a while. I suppose you could say I’m picky, but unlike you, I just don’t get feelings left and right in general.’’ At least not important ones that he would consider as worth the experience. Now don’t get him wrong, he could have deep feelings at the right occasion, but it wasn’t triggered super easily. And he would say he was okay with that. If something is very common, it loses some of its value, and may even become a habit. While a rare thing really matters when it comes up. Funnily enough, he was like that with a lot of things that were known to inspire emotions. In a way, it was the same as with the touch matter. He could be extremely picky with what he considered just right at times, but when it was, it was pretty good.

There would indeed be a silence, the short answer given in response to his comment about being lost only would get the other a light hum and smile. It was amusing, but the demon was not one to push matters where they didn’t need to be pushed. Yes it would be nice to know what the other was thinking or was confused about, but if the other didn’t want to say then there was nothing the demon could say or do about that. Besides, it wasn’t like that matter was that important. It wasn’t harming anything and honestly...the demon couldn’t afford a pointless battle on top of what was already occurring. You see the whole hugging business that came after the silence wasn’t as simple as one would think.

While it was true that a hug could mean good in the demon’s mind, it was also true that assuming that is what he thought about each and every hug would be an error. Rika was indeed a complex creature and as a result a hug could mean various things depending on the situation or other variables. He tried to explain this in words, tried to demonstrate, but the end result of all his efforts seemed to fall short of what he was trying to get the other to understand. He wasn’t sure if they weren’t on the same page or if the other was just sticking in his box and not seeing the whole picture or what have you. All he knew was the more he tried to explain and do what he thought was right in this situation, the more he felt as if he was being brushed over and that the other was not getting it all...and as a result of this, the frustration and stress would begin to build although they the effect wouldn’t show up in obvious ways. In fact, the only way to tel he was agitated in some manner was to read the air and in general his body language.

It was true after that whole break down, the demon had not really become fully relaxed again, his body remained tensed and refused to let up, the muscles pretty much aching now due to it all. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the demon’s body would tense even further as he listened quietly to the words being spoken. He would let the guy go through the first part and remain unusally quiet during the pause in speaking before the other reopened his mouth and spoke again. When it was all said in done, Rika wouldn’t respond right away.

Instead, he would remain quiet his eyes locked on the other with an intensity that was not there before. It was the sort of intensity brought out due to conflicting emotions within. On one hand he could understand the other, but on the other he wanted to rip him apart. While Rika was indeed reasonable, when he was already upset and felt like he was getting no where, his tolerance for this sort of thing was pretty low. Honestly if he acted on impulse he would’ve screamed at the guy, cried and really became a bitch, but somehow he felt that would not work on him and honestly he did not wish to blow up on the other in a different fashion so to speak.

So the demon would remain quiet, watching the other as he chewed on his lower lip and the index finger of his left hand tapped against the metal of the bench in a quick tick, tick, tick, tick fashion. It honestly was like waiting for a bomb to explode, but before that happened, Rika would look away from the other and with a sigh he would get up from the bench and take a few steps away from the other before pausing to watch the spirits drift over the cliff. Honestly if he was less stable he might’ve tried to join them, but luckily for the other the only thing the demon did was place his hands on his hips as his head bowed and he shook it.

There was muttering to be heard, but it seemed the demon was having an internal struggle rather than directing it towards the other. It would only take a few seconds for the demon to compose himself enough to turn and face the other, his eyes narrowing a bit to bring the other into better focus.

“Look, I get that you don’t compute things the way I do. I get we are complete opposites on many fronts. I get it. I do and while I don’t mind the conversations, I feel you are not understanding what I was getting at here,” RIka would begin his voice calm, yet tense. His eyes were a bit watery, but it wasn’t because he was trying to get some form of pity here or make the other break. No. These tears came because he was frustrated and could no longer keep in. Did he care if it made the situation worse. Yeah a piece of him did, but honestly had no where to put it, so out it came whether he wanted it to or not. Regardless of this, the demon would continue. “You speak a lot on what works and doesn’t work for you comparing the situation to things that you understand. No problem there. I get we all comprehend things differently, but it does not change fact that what you say hurts a lot because a hug or lean or cuddle isn’t as straightforward for me as you think. You speak of intent and meaning and depending on that determines this or that for you...and perhaps that is what bothers me the most. You don’t know me. Have no reason to invest in this beyond just this day. You agreed to stay and try to work this out, but how can we do that if when I try to explain something you just brush it off as if it was nothing?” he would close his eyes a bit, causing a tear to go down his cheek, but he honestly didn’t care about that right now as he tried instead to just get the thoughts back in order.

“I understand there are various people that do this and that and hug for this or that reason, but I am not those people. I am me and all I was trying to do was get you to understand an aspect of me. I get its not easy, but understand this. Hugging for me is complex. I was not asking to lean against you or hug you just to get this sudden boost in happiness or sweep things under the rug. It doesn’t that work for me. It never has and never will. When a situation is negative and I want to be close to someone, the physical contact calms me down and helps a bit getting myself back in order and a position where I can actually talk and tackle things in some logical fashion. it doesn't always work, but it helps. You don’t have to do anything except respect the fact I need that moment. Yes, being around a negative person is bad. It doesn’t feel good, I know, but it happens. You won’t always get the luxury to push them away or run away, even less so if you are serious about a relationship with a person such as me. I need physical contact at times. Not constant, but there is a need for something to be there. You push me away with your analyzing and assuming that what I do is just because of a whim or how was it you put it? "stubbornly trying to make one way work exactly how you want it to, when the given situation just doesn’t seem to support it well”. Well, I wasn't being stubborn or trying to make it work my way. I was just trying to explain and show you one way that works for me. This doesn’t shut doors to other possibilities when it doesn’t work. It’s the reason I pulled away in the first place. I understood it this didn't work. Understood neither of us was benefiting from it and honestly I was hoping to find some way to make it work, where we both could be comfortable, but I don’t...I don’t know how to do that anymore because it seems every time I think something might work, you turn around and tear apart. It’s just….just....” the demon would trail off there with a sigh and shake of his head. He couldn’t say much more because he was too wound up at the moment to say much more than what was already said. He wasn’t sure if any of that made since, but for the first time since this whole date started, he didn’t care. He had an issue with this and in turn had to say something. It probably wouldn’t end in a good fashion, but the demon rather have it said and let it be known how it was making him feel rather than just sit quiet and let this grow into a monster that would appear later. It hurt and was a bit nerve-wrecking, but at the same time as the demon stood there with his head bowed just crying out the fustration in a quiet fashion he let it be what it was going to be. He wasn’t looking for a hug at this point nor was he saying this to get his way. He was just looking to understand this guy in front of him and getting something to actually work for a change. The guy harped on being geniune no? Well this was as geniune as he was going to get from the demon and if he couldn’t see that, then the demon honsetly wouldn’t know what else to do. He felt that he was at his wit end at this point and drowning in the frustration. It was stressing, but it was what it was now. So the demon would let it play out with time.

That ugly duckling aside though, things would somehow shift elsewhere as the demon asked, but was denied answers from the other when he poked him a bit about the past. “Fair enough,”the demon would respond back to what was heard. Yeah….there was already enough heavy stuff going around, so best not dig themselves into a deeper grave with other talk. Besides, he could always poke him a bit later about it when perhaps things were less. Meh or whatever you wanted to call this. Regardless that topic would drop and thankful drift into the happier territory of music.

“Ah I see. Though I wouldn’t say it is everything I get wrapped up in. Kind of like your meaning, the music has to have some impact on me for me to get wrapped up in it. I am a bit more selective than you think,” the demon would say his tone way calmer and lighter than before. His value of things may have been a bit more open than the other’s, but that did not mean he could be generalized or even tossed in the you like whatever category. After all he too was a living being thing that was just as complex as the guy with him.

Yes and no, to be honest. In fact, it would be more appropriate to say that for him there was no box at all. It was just a matter of what direction one chose to turn towards out of all the possibilities that were laying around. What he did was most of the time simply a way of taking things on one at a time. It could come off as one sided thanks to that, but despite his seemingly dead set way of laying it out, it wasn’t necessarily what he chose to believe in. Each possibility was still there however and well, how do you cross something out as false if you do not first check how it corresponds to reality? That can only be done by putting it out there, because he could surely mull over it in his mind forever, but that would not give him an accurate answer at all. That would indeed only be an assumption in the end, and a way worse one than what simply appears that way when it is out in the open. Seeing as having it out the means it can get altered and shaped into something else by finding out more about the idea’s accuracy, while keeping it inside doesn’t allow for much change. Did he really go about things the wrong way or was it simply a matter of them being so different that they could not comprehend and accept each other’s styles even after multiple attempts? It was hard to say. And he certainly had no answer for that one.

They both wanted the same thing in the end, but were using distinctively different tools to reach that goal, which was obviously the biggest issue hanging in the air. The point in his actions wasn’t that he would never understand just because of the things he was saying. It was exactly with the aim to understand that he did what he did. He just had the habit of well, externalizing the whole process of getting to the final point and involving the person in question in it, thus accidentally making it seem like he was super wrong when he was just taking his time to come to the final conclusion. What he said were either general statements, questions or what seemed like it was pretty close to the urrently best sounding answer, with the aim to see whether it would get confirmed or the person would point in the more correct direction instead. His main aim wasn’t to upset someone, but perhaps because his way of getting down to the core of things was technically less emotionally attuned for people who were more touchy, that’s exactly what happened sooner or later. How to fix that? Well, only God would know, to be honest. Yeah, he could attempt a different way, but that would likely help the other person while making it worse for him. End result? He would very likely misunderstand for real in that case, and it would all spiral into a similar mess for slightly different reasons. One way or another, one side of the party would find themselves struggling in an unpleasant manner, which was hard to fix. Maybe what they needed was to truly understand each other, but understanding itself was what was apparently the hardest goal to achieve at the moment.

Unlike the other, who was probably internalizing the situation to the extreme, thus getting upset and frustrated over the matter, he was simply…confused? He didn’t know what he was supposed to really do. He wasn’t aiming to get his words translated completely differently than what their original purpose was, but he couldn’t find a way to avoid it, even after it has happened so many times already. It felt like explaining didn’t work all that well, but that was…the only real way? This kind of stuff isn’t going to get solved by a hug or anything similar, because it’s too complex to be understood by non-verbal, vague hints. Then again, maybe they were trying to see what was ‘wrong’ and what ‘right’ a bit too hard….

Sighing to himself faintly, he should shift around, crossing one leg over the other as he rested one arm against his leg, as well as his chin against said hand. For a short while he would just stare at the demon, rather undecided about what he really wanted to say to this. There was a lot he could say, but where to even begin?


‘’Well…I certainly have no reason to do anything. But is that really the right way to approach a relationship right away? Of course I don’t know you, just as well as you don’t know me. If you really spend your time fretting over how the person most likely doesn’t care when you can’t see it yourself just because they technically have no reason to, then you’re just making it easy for yourself to believe that the moment things don’t go smoothly. If that was really the motto to go by, wouldn’t all relationships be more or less doomed because, well, there’s never a reason to be with someone outside of deciding that you want to? Nor can you know someone without actually talking with them about things once in a while, even more personal ones like this. We can’t really work this out when you hold onto the habit of assuming the worst either. That alone leads you to do the exact same thing you’re saying I do. You assume you know what I really think. But in the end, you just think you know, based on what you translated my words into, whether they really mean that or not.’’

And honestly, making this into a circlejerk of assumptions back and forth would only cause everything to shatter in due time. Which would be the exact opposite of what either of them wanted.

‘’It may be hard for you, but I feel like you need to figure out how to take a step back and not take everything as personally as you do. Yes, I said a lot of things, but a good chunk of them were not meant to be a direct jab at you at all. So I said that some people do hugs for this and that reason. Okay? No one says that it means I’m trying to say that you’re like them. But I have to bring up a matter somehow. Can’t do it if I avoid anything that could possibly sound like I’m trying to accuse you. I would end up not being able to properly voice out anything without being afraid that you’ll take it for what it isn’t meant to be. The statement of mine you quoted? I only really asked the question because I was looking to hear your opinion on the matter. Again, nothing to do with attempting to claim you do exactly that.’’, he would just fold both his arms on top of his legs at that point as he took a short pause to take a breath. ‘’I don’t know if I can explain this…but I think you’ve got a bit of a wrong idea here. I speak a lot, that much is true. That is how I figure out what it is that I’m supposed to understand though. I simply like to put things out there, even when I do not have the final conclusion yet. Thus, what I’m saying may not be entirely what I will choose to think at the end of the day. The only way for me to understand is to get you to tell me more, or let me know how close or far from the truth I am, which is the main reason why I even pose certain possibilities. I want to know your view on it, so that I can decide what to actually do with it next. I’m sure you don’t really expect me to just understand perfectly from one or two short explanations, now do you? For some reason though, it seems that the only way for me to actually get you to tell me what is really going on there is to literally push you into having a meltdown. Not that I’m trying to do that for the most part, but if you just assume the worst of my words or actions and don’t bring it up early enough, this is where it apparently ends. If you’re having such a hard time believing that I mean well with what I do, what can I even do and actually be sure that I’m not accidentally hurting you without even knowing about it? And if I end up not doing much instead, you’ll probably just think I’m pushing you away because of that. This all won’t end well if we always make a mountain out of everything, simply because it could possibly be a problem. You’ve told me that you don’t trust easily before, but I think that if we want to even have a chance at this working, you’ll have to at least as far as intent goes. Or at least open your mouth honestly before it gets as far as this so we can talk things out when we’re both calm enough. We can’t do this every damn time, and constantly souring the atmosphere only makes it harder for anyone to be comfortable no matter what. I don’t think there’s much chance you’ll get what you want with the approach you’re taking towards it. And to be honest, I think the best way might just be not trying so hard to make it all work correctly on spot. Not when it’s getting out of hand as much as it is. It’s not going to happen faster if you keep worrying about it super hard and flailing around, nor does it seem to be helping anyone.’’

Speaking of not helping, all this talking was starting to feel like an abuse to his vocal chords. A good reminder as to why he would never really like being a public speaker frequently or the like. Hmm. Wait. Well, that was certainly an idea, although it was one he could end up regretting dearly if it went wrong. At this point however, what could even be trusted to go right? No idea, that’s what. So he might as well try, no matter how out there it seemed. Perhaps unconventional methods could help them somehow? Making up his mind, he would move to stand and walk over closer to the guy, although stopping at a slight distance in case the guy didn’t want him up in his face. ‘’I have an idea, if you’re willing to try something out. Since talking seems to be the thing that kills everything in most of the cases, I want to test something. After all, talking doesn’t always have to be the only way to get things across, so how about we play a little game? The rules are simple. No more talking over each other’s head and overcomplicating everything from the get-go. As a matter of fact, no talking at all. Anything from basic body language to touching as a way of interaction is game, but no speaking. At least until we decide to quit hanging around this forest and go somewhere else instead. I think we could use a break from this anyway, and how well we can get along on basic terms can say a lot on its own. Maybe it can even help kill the bad habit of trying to read too much into what the other person is saying. What do you say?’’ Yeah, that could either go really well or blow like a bomb, but maybe it was worth a try? He did feel like their interaction was becoming a bit too reliant on impressions of what either of them was attempting to say, and the further they went into it, the more confusing it kept getting. Not only did he want to stop for a moment, but it was also an interesting way to see what kind of connection did they even have outside of that….

Um, yeah:

It was hard to say why or how the pair ended up in these situations with one on one end of the stick and the other at the other. What was known was more often than not, somehow the pair ended up clashing over something. They were vastly different in their approaches and their way of thinking. Rika took a somewhat subtle, but more feely approach while Sharaku took a more analytical one and this is where the problem rested. Rika was not used to this approach, his life had been mostly spent with feelers or rather people he understood because they worked similarly to him. While he could somewhat grasp what was being said or done by the other at the end of the day, the demon couldn’t exactly swallow what he was being given.

It wasn't that he wasn’t listening or anything like that, but rather when it came down to the core of the batter, his style of thinking just didn’t mesh well with the other’s. Did this mean they were doomed from the get go? Not really, but it was true that this did mean they would probably struggle until they got used to each other and turn found ways to handle this issue of appraches and so on. Would they ever fully understand each other? Maybe not, but at the same time who ever fully understood anything at the end of the day. Those that seemed to understand so easily were just people that had adapted to what was going on around them and in turn was better equipped to handle the situations given. Rika and Sharaku had not reached this stage yet and probably wouldn’t for a good while and so they struggled.

The demon would stay where he was letting himself have a good cry due to frustration built up due to the internal roller coaster that made him mad with himself and also the fact that no matter what he tried, he seemed to backslide more than he made progress with the other. The situation at first felt hopeless. Honestly, how could they ever go forward if they just kept winding back up here? In strife? It was almost like if they even dared to talk about anything serious this would be the end result…..and this end was not very pleasant and something that would destroy them for sure if they could not find some way to tackle it, but how? How did one tackle something like this when both parties were polar opposites? The task was daunting and anxiety filled for Rika, whose mind could not separate the matter from the feelings. While the guy attempted to talk it out, Rika just felt boxed in and like a cage animal he lashed out.

Did he regret it afterwards? Always. He hated being negative towards the guy when all he really had done this whole time was try his best against an force that was chaotic and perhaps more than he had bargined for. Yes the guy said he was resilant, but Rika had to wonder if even he would break under the wrath that was himself and the untamed beast within him. The thoughts drove him batty to be honest, the constant self criticism for things he was doing wrong. He knew he should let it go, but at this point, he was so unbalanced that it was hard to keep it together….thus his break down and now this.

At this point the demon didn’t know what to do with himself or this situation. He felt as if he had just pretty much dug the situation so far into a grave that there was no chance in saving it. Honestly how could he? After all this, it would be a mircale if the guy ever wanted to talk to him again. He probably deserved to be alone.

Grr…

Rika would visibly grit his teeth at this one as his hands instinctively went to his horns and grab them as he shook his head a bit as if that would help shut the voices up, but it never did. He stayed stuck within the hell within his mind for a while before the other finally spoke and in turn the sound startled him enough to bring him out of his own madness. Becoming still, the demon would look up at the other his expression moody and his eyes a deep violet from being upset for so long. Despite this though, he would listen quietly to what the other said.

And so it began. To the first set of words he said, the demon would let out a sigh as he closed his eyes again with a shake of his head. "It was a bit more than just that, that bothered me. Yes, I understand you are different and have a different approach and what not, but honestly I had hoped you’d at least give it a whirl versus just not moving at all.” he would say tired from it all, but then he sighed a bit as he looked off to the side. “Granted I might’ve over-reacted to it all, but still…”  He honestly was highly aware of many of the facts the other laid out. He was aware of it all, but still that did not mean he knew how to stop the worry or negative thoughts. He tried to find ways around them and even tried to face them, but every time they somehow won and in turn caused this shit to happen. He really was trying here, but felt his effort was wasted when he didn’t much get back to show he had done anything right in the situation. The only immediate reactions from the other seeming to stem from the negative reaction he himself had towards whatever happened. It was frustrating really, but maybe what was really happening was the demon was trying so hard that he was frustrating himself and in turn lashed out at the other because he had no other toss it all. It was honestly hard to say.

...And now they were back to the issues of stepping away from the matter and not taking it personally. To this the demon would give the other a defeated look. “Yes. I could work on stepping on it, but my point wasn’t so much about me being compared to others, but rather you not seeming focused on the problem which was me. It just...seemed like you were keeping your distance and instead of working with me you were working against me or remaining in your own box….” The demon would say as he winced a bit as he shifted his weight to the left and rubbed his arm a bit as he took a moment to address the next part.

“And you see that can be a bit of a problem for me. I don’t always know how to tell what I am feeling. In fact, you’d have better luck asking me to draw it out. I try to explain with demonstration or like doing something at times, but I find when I do it here, I just get bounced away. I am not saying you don’t understand, but rather I don’t know how to gauge what you are thinking about the situation. You say I should speak honestly well, I am not sure how much more honest I can be than what I am right now. You ask me to do something, I consider it and even try it, but tell me what am I to do when everything tried seems to be blocked or broken just as quickly? I admit, yes I am at fault for a lot of this my personality and mentality is far from stable or easy to deal with, but at the same time. You aren’t easy either. I am trying Sharaku, I really am. Trying to understand it all, but the more I try the more I find myself lost. I do understand it takes time and no I don’t expect you to get it right away, but you telling me to learn to back off and not take personally or even let it go plus other things doesn’t exactly help. I know what I need to do and I know work, but no matter how many times I tell you that you don’t seem to want to believe because in the end this is what you get. I can’t give you immediate results and when I genuinely try you take as me trying to hard or trying to make everything perfect and then when I try to make you understand how you feel by explaining you tell me to take a chill pill and learn to step back. You say I am hard to talk to because I am triggered easily, but at the same time I find it hard to talk when I am uncertain if you will just see it as an emotional break down rather a real try at explaining what you ask of me. And so I become frustrated because all the doors seem shut no matter what I do….”

Well, he tried to explain, but how the other would see it in this situation was beyond him and honestly he wasn’t expecting anything good to come out of it. If anything maybe he just dug a deeper hole. He wasn’t sure anymore, but knew he was on his last leg and if this kept going he would just end up quiting for now because honestly they would get nowhere at this rate….unless you count getting to more misery going places.

It was a mess, but one that Rika didn’t want to run from or leave like this, but his head was too clogged to find a reasonable solution for them both let alone any form of hope in this situation at the moment. Closing his eyes, Rika would bow his head for a moment going back to silent suffering until the sound of the other moving caused his ears to twitch. Looking up mainly to see if he was walking away, the demon found himself a bit shocked to see the other coming to him.

Outside of looking worn, the demon would release his horns and lower his hands to his side again. He didn’t seem to mind the close, but interestingly enough did not attempt to throw himself at the other or make contact. No instead, his would stay where he was for now as his tail swished a bit and he looked up at the other as he spoke. To what he heard, the demon’s eyebrows would furrow a bit confused for a bit as he thought.

“A game huh? Well, I can’t say I completely follow, but then again I sometimes don’t get unless I actually do certain task myself. WIth that being said...alright. I will play the game for I can agree we do need a break from whatever has happened here. Though do we start the game now or…?” The demon would trail off tilting his head at the other questioning. He honestly had not a clue how to start this or even what to do, but he suppose that was kind of the point of this new task. Not too think and just let what happen. Well here’s to seeing what happened next….

Perhaps the other was unlucky in that area, but he would probably have to learn one way or another. Feeler type people were perhaps more common in general, but they definitely weren’t the only kind of person one could end up dealing with. Dealing with someone who is from a different planet so to speak can be tough, but it is not impossible. Everyone can do both feelings and logic, just with varying levels of natural skill in them. Rika seemed to overly rely on his emotional side, while Sharaku…well, he certainly had a pretty strong preference for being logical, but not in as extreme way as the other did vice versa for the most part. If he did, this whole situation would be twice or thrice as brutal, because despite his rough approach, he was still trying in his own way instead of dismissing it all entirely just because the demon was a bag of feels almost all the time.

They were still however very different in their ways of thinking. He didn’t connect his thinking with feelings most of the time, unlike the other. Yes, he could in certain circumstances, whether it was him clearly forcing it on purpose, or an actually genuine reaction to something. It was not very common though, and for the majority of the time, he dealt with those two aspects separately. As much as it was possible of course, since inherently, they would always be related as one thinks about something due to some sort of feeling having brought it up first of all. Only a robot could think about things without needing any emotions to inspire the thoughts at all. At the end of the day however, he was quite adept at doing problem solving without letting his feelings lead him astray. Unless he was distraught himself, but that usually took a lot of jabbing. He did not crash as fast as someone like Rika, who apparently had no limiters on his feels at all.

At any rate, talking would go as it went nevertheless, and he would stay silent as the other spoke in return, only occasionally tapping his fingers against his leg in thought. As per usual, he wouldn’t interrupt and opt to speak only once the other was done talking entirely, seeing as he would rather have the full picture first, instead of responding to one thing, and then having to half-repeat himself on the next one when it happened to be too similar. Which a lot of these were, at least in the sense that he more or less had the same answer to all of them. Just in varying degrees of detail and intensity, that is. In the end though, it all led down to nearly the same conclusions anyway.

He would pinch the bridge of his nose slightly, taking a deeper breath. Alright, how to phrase this. He didn’t want to sound like he was trying to put the guy down, but truth of the matter was that a lot of this had to do with the way the other approached the whole thing. Well, he would just have to play it by the ear, apparently. There was no optimal way right now. ‘’No. I am not easy. I’m not going to try to claim I am. But I think I do have to stand behind my advice for you to chill out at the end of the day, regardless of that. Since I still think that it’s the main problem starter here. You see, I wouldn’t exactly call what you did over-reacting, but more of a ‘pulling the trigger of the gun too eagerly’ kind of thing. You move too fast. You just claimed that you don’t expect me to get things right away, and yet, you certainly seem to need your results quickly, otherwise you auto-assume you’ve failed. No offense to you there, but if I just look at the thing that started this whole clash….we’ve….’talked’ for…what, maybe 2 or 3 minutes before you were pulling away and then soon after scurrying away, already convinced you had no real chance. Plus, this is only our second meeting face-to-face, for that matter. I…can’t really keep up with that? Because if you seriously expect to be able to have an accurate impression of what I am doing or will do within less than 5 minutes of you initiating something or after two to three short opinion exchanges, I can straight up tell you that such is not going to happen 95% of the time. That’s just crazy in my opinion. I need some time to be sure about what I think or feel about what is happening, as well as to really decide my final move. While I won’t ask you to give me a week or such, clamming up almost immediately just cannot work. You appear to be jumping the gun like a bunny on steroids most of the time, before you even allow yourself to see more of what is truly happening. Trust me, you might find out how to open those doors you perceive as shut way faster if you actually stop giving up on it before you get anywhere. You want me to believe your claims, but I feel like I’m just not even getting the time to make my decision for real. Hell if I know what I truly think right away, or how do I really see a situation.’’, he would shake his head slightly.

‘’And if it bothers you so much, then why not try to bring it up during instead of exploding yourself all over later on, when it’s only that much harder to salvage and nearly impossible to turn back anymore? I cannot react to what I am not aware of, even if I try to be faster sometimes. I can’t work with you properly if you’re sometimes away in your depression corner, mulling over how you most likely failed before I can so much as blink. You have to believe in yourself and stick it out for a bit, you know? I can’t deliver that fast either, and even less when I am not notified of what the current status is early enough. I can’t prove anything to you when things just get abruptly cut short while I’m still busy figuring out what I even really want to do.’’ That was just impossible, and once the demon was in his ‘weepy’ state, things were twice as hard as before that. How was he to avoid that though, when he was given so little time to act? ‘’What I am trying to say here, is that you probably shouldn’t assume you’re being blocked right away, before you know anything of what is happening under the surface, which is all you can see at first glance. With how much effort you need to put into explaining yourself and finding a way to do so in an understandable way, I’m sure you can understand where that comes from. If you yourself have so much you need to explain about yourself, you can’t really look at me and think you immediately know what I am about just because you’ve heard a few words or such….’’ And to be honest, it kind of hurts to be written off as something that fast. Every person has their own depth. You can’t just hear a few things they say and already be certain you messed up big time. Even less so when you’re dealing with a person who likes to take at least some time to think before giving a solid final answer. While he did bounce thoughts out loud a lot, nearly none of that was something he was set on firmly just yet, simply because he did not blurt completely honest opinions as fast as that. They would come out as total garbage if he did, and he’d just have to amend himself some time later once he’d have realized that what he originally said was too stupid for whatever reason, and not something he actually believed for real.

Moving onto even more vague things than that though, as he tried to bring up an unusual change of pace, instead of continuing to harp at things until they just ruined this whole hang out completely. He would shrug lightly. ‘’I didn’t think this one through that far ahead, so I can’t tell you what to do. It’s hard to explain this anyway. As for when, I’ll leave that to your call. If there is still something you want to say first, you’re free to go ahead.’’ To be honest, he wasn’t completely sure what exactly to do either. Sure, he had a vague idea, but he felt like it wasn’t going to be as easy as that with the two of them, so he couldn’t trust his imagination on this one. Ah well...

To say Rika wasn’t trying would be the understatement of the year. Oh he was trying alright, though perhaps a bit too hard... or at least on the surface it would appear to be just that. The demon had tried this or that and when everything didn’t go according to plan he broke down like a little bitch and cried. A sad case, but also not the whole story. Yes the start of it all was the fact that things weren’t perfect here, but what made the situation worse was the way his mind worked when he kind of needed something and didn’t receive it immediately such as a hug. Now Rika understood the other was a bit slower to act than some, but at the same time he wished the other wouldn’t think and just do for once. It would’ve been so simple if he had just hugged him, but no the other did what he did and now the demon was like this. Though did Rika blame the guy fully for his state?

Not really. Sure the slow reaction contributed to the situation, but for the most part Rika took most if not all the blame and tossed it on himself. He wanted to understand, wanted to push the negative away, wanted to just have a peaceful moment for a change, but no matter how much he tried to get a handle on this the more it spun out of control and with the usual methods of assistance pretty much out the window, the demon didn’t know what to do. He was suffering alright. Suffering because he was being such a pain and probably causing the other unneeded stress. Suffering because of worry and this and that. All these things came together and bubbled in the pot that was his mind until he just couldn’t handle it anymore and broke.

He tried to explain, cried, and tried to explain some more, but the more he did this the more he found himself drowning with no real way out. He needed a rope or anything to pull himself out of this, but he had none leaving him so alone and scared for the situation and his own sanity to be honest. There was a point where he really thought he was going to lose it, but somehow he didn’t and while at first it seemed really bad and that the demon was only going to throw back emotion filled things as time ticked on the demon would actually start to calm, even if the look came off as moody on the surface.

Even as he watched the other with a moody gaze, his tail flicking a bit here and there, the demon was slowly coming down from emotions where he could actually see again and not just be in the emotion and in turn become a handful to handle (aka what happened before). To what was said, the demon would watch the other quietly for a moment before blinking a bit and sighing as he looked down.

“I suppose….I am jumping gun...or maybe I am just not use to waiting as long for a reaction. Don’t me wrong. I am not rushing or anything...it’s just….I guess I need to learn to sit and be a bit more patient...Though that is rather hard since I can’t tell what you are thinking and such. It makes me anxious and when I am already wound up and appears from body language and words you really don’t want said thing to happen, then I see no point and making you suffer any longer than needed. I mean….would you have really given into the whole hug if i had stayed there longer?” he would say and then shake his head. “Regardless, I moved because of the signals i was getting. I could’ve misread and I admit when I am upset and in that emotion….I...I am not the most rational person. Taking a chill pill is a lot a harder for me than you think….or rather it takes me longer to swallow it than most,” the demon would pause as he lifted a hand and began to gently pet his own ear absentmindedly as he thought a bit on the next part. When he thought, he had the right words he would attempt to speak again.

“So you are saying I should just state what is on my mind and go through the whole depressing thing with you rather than keep it to myself. I understand wanting to be notified and all, but….I wonder how fair is that of me to throw that on you. I don’t want to bog you down with my shit, so I keep it to myself….even though that is not the most effective way as we have seen. Still….what you ask of me is a bit bizarre for me. You are asking me to be transparent to a degree which I can do, but I don’t want to break you or tire you out. I may be low maintenance most of the time, but...in the emotional department the sort of support I need is a bit heavy. You’re welcome to try and handle it, but I…” he would hesitate almost wanting to draw back and keep it to himself; however, perhaps in an effort of trying despite how uncomfortable it was, he would continue. “I am a bit afraid for you and maybe even myself due to the way I am. I want to believe it can work and honestly will put the work in to do….just know that even if I am flailing about or jumping ship, I am genuinely trying here. I just have the unfortunate curse of backsliding further than I can climb is all.” Well that was uncomfortable as hell to share, but he had to make an effort otherwise this would not improve.

“As for what you said….I’ll work on taking it a bit slower and find some way to keep my anxiety from blowing it out of portion. And...Sorry for this. Truly I am…” he would say and really mean it. The last thing he wanted was this and while he was sure they would struggle until they figured the right way for them, he didn’t want another blow out like this. The guy was right when he said this could not continue on like it was for various reason. It needed to improve and in turn be allowed to grow. So all he could do is pray his own flaws wouldn’t drive the other away. Pray he could really handle him.

No….the guy wouldn’t run away and he could handle him very well. The only thing the demon had to do was believe that and things would work themselves out no matter what. He just had to believe.

That aside though, things would take a rather odd turn as a different sort of approach was offered. On that involved no talking and only body language, touch, and the demon assumed any other form of natural communication without words could be used. He wasn’t quite sure what he was suppose to do...and apparently the other wasn’t going to help either with that answer to what he heard, the demon would let out a light snort as a tired smile came to his face.

“And here I thought not thinking things through was my department. You can’t be stealing my job there guy,” the demon said as he shifted a bit punch the guy very lightly in his arm. It was a playful tap, but one that suggested that the demon was still recovering but still trying regardless. Despite where that went he would nod at the other. “Well, I suppose we can begin now. Though you too have the right to say something beforehand,” he would say and then become quiet to see what the other had to say.

If the other said nothing. Then the demon would start the game starting with something as simple as just studying the other’s features for the moment.

Well, the other could wish, but it was unlikely to become true. Definitely not on a frequent level, at least. He honestly found the idea rather uncomfortable. Some people liked the idea of doing whatever popped up in their heads in the moment, but he found that whenever he did that, he was apt to regret what he did entirely later, or at least partially. Not always, but a good 90% of the time, that’s exactly what ended up happening, and he was far from eager to keep diving into that lake when he had the choice not to. It’s not like he aimed to take hours on things. Just…a little bit longer than almost immediately, unless it was in regards to a matter he was already certain on and didn’t need to evaluate any further even if it came up suddenly. Then again, there were only so many things he was set on like that, since he preferred to stick to being open-minded for the most part. Regardless of the fact that he might not really come off that way when he opens his mouth. That’s a different issue altogether though.

For a short while, he would just watch the other contemplatively as he twisted around a random lock of his hair in thought. Well, he had to say something…but to be honest, he just didn’t understand this all entirely. While he got what was happening, he just couldn’t see the point of it. Always trying to determine what the person is thinking and simply flat out worrying whether the right actions have been taken or not, etc. was only a recipe for never being happy…neither with the person you’re constantly analyzing, nor with yourself. There’s always some problem that can be sniffed out or worried about as long as one keeps trying to find it. In that sense, no matter what he would do, the demon would be able to find something to be unsure about sooner or later, even if only because no one can be perfect, thus always carrying around the potential for some sort of issue. And he would say that the more one worries about a potential problem, the more likely it is to actually happen, or seem like it is happening. When you’re anxious by base even when you should not really need to be, it seems way too easy to interpret even little hints as more than they truly mean in reality.

‘’I don’t know anymore, since it went off the track before I decided on anything. Maybe I would have, maybe I wouldn’t. What I can say though, is that even if I would have chosen to not do the hug the way you wanted it, we could always have worked on finding a slightly different solution. Had I intended to simply push you away, I would have done so first thing and wouldn’t even let you try anything. It’s true that I’m probably not easy to read…but, do you truly need to be able to all the time? If it’s something super important, you can ask me about it directly before you make a hasty move, or you could simply choose to try to trust me. Take that as you will, but despite the fact that I take some time to think, I still do have some idea of what I lean towards even before that. Which means that if I was completely unwilling to do something, I would tell you no straight up instead of encouraging you to give it a go. You don’t need to fret about every little thing that comes up. It’s not like I don’t have a voice and can’t tell you when enough is enough. Besides, I personally don’t require being constantly looked out for. Making a misstep doesn’t make one worse than everyone else, so if you try and end up being told to stop, you can store that as new knowledge for later. While if you stop yourself every time before you can be 100% sure that it would turn out to be a no, you will never know what is actually okay, and only keep worrying about everything further. I wouldn’t be mad at you unless you ignored a direct warning to stop, and kept pushing me. And really, you say you don’t want me to suffer, as if a hug could do some serious damage. The worst that can happen is that someone doesn’t like it much, but unless they are an ass, there’s no reason to punish someone for something as simple as that just because.’’ Well, if that person kept being dumb and forcing hugs constantly after being told to seriously tone it down, then maybe. There would have to be some good reason one way or another though, and one simple instance of a misunderstanding just isn’t enough to make a super negative reaction viable. That’s just plain rude, as well as an indicator of possibly unpleasant intolerance in general. You don’t really want to be with someone who plain goes and kicks you in the ass for the simplest of things just because you didn’t do something exactly the way they would like you to.

He would shift slightly. ‘’I’m not going to say it’s fair to do that, because it technically isn’t….but, honestly? If I am to choose between dealing with it right there and then when it’s still mild and being oblivious for ages and then having to pick up the pieces as you douse me with buckets of tears…I would always pick the former. I think that if we did that, we could still get something done, while if this happens, it’s pretty much an instant mood kill and ensures we won’t go back to whatever we were doing before at all, and it’s harder as well. I can’t tell you what to do….but, this is something you may have wanted to think of before trying to date someone. If you want to be secretive and make sure no one deals with your shit, then why are you seeking a partner? That immediately goes against it. You kind of have to pick. One, or the other. Unless you want to risk driving yourself home into another heartbreak because of it. Sure, everyone has some secrets, but when it’s something as game-changing as that, it is not one you can just casually keep from a person you aim to be close with. Sooner or later, it would pose a threat if not dealt with correctly. It’s true that not everyone is going to be able to deal with it…but what would you rather do? Hold back, not really feel happy at the end of the day anyway, and then eventually have it all come crashing down completely once your cover blows too hard and happen to find you were chasing the wrong kind of person after all, or be honest and potentially save yourself from a lot of pain by finding out where you stand early on?’’, he would shake his head slightly.

‘’Regardless, you don’t have to apologize. I don’t ask for that, not right now. To be honest, I’d rather you focus on being less afraid of what others think of you instead of trying to make it up to them all the time. You should be doing this for yourself first of all, not for me or anyone else. That comes second.’’ Not that other people aren’t important, but you kind of need to be at peace with yourself before you can truly reach out to someone else in a healthy way…

Whatever went on there though, they would eventually take a leap elsewhere to attempt a different kind of interaction for at least a while. Whether it would come out as successful or not was up in the air, but it was an interesting diversion, if nothing else. They did a lot of talking, so perhaps balancing it out with an opposite type of activity would serve them well in some way. And hey, the demon did want to learn how to read him better, yes? Well, no he could try to focus on doing that instead of zooming in on what is being said all the time. Would that help? Well, who knows. Still, it was some food for thought at least. ‘’Hrm….I’ll call it relying on intuition. Even I need a break from thinking at times.’’, he would snort lightly, as he rubbed at the spot he was hit in absentmindedly. When the other threw his proposal right back at him, he would be silent for a moment, and then just shrug. Nope, he didn’t think he had something important enough to say at that moment. Though he would follow that up with raising an eyebrow at the guy when he noted that he was being more or less started that. Yeees?

If Sharaku was hard to understand in the thinking/feeling vs. action department, then Rika would be three times or maybe even four times harder to understand. Even more so if one tried to pull apart what he did in a logical fashion. By logic it appeared that he was breaking apart and throwing fits for not getting his way. Being an unnecessary worry wart and just being difficult in general with the way he was, but in reality that was far from the truth. The truth of the matter was as confident as the demon could come off in the few areas where he was comfortable and sure footed at the end of the day, he was a guy that struggled a ton with himself and in turn the world around him.

He had a desire to please others and in turn did try to adapt himself to their liking; however, that never fully worked because that meant suppressing himself….and in turn when the real him came out? Well what happened with his ex occurred - the person ran not able to handle what he really was. He suffered from over thinking and anxiety and after the first fail self doubt. He tried to recover and place it all back together and while at first it did seem to work, when he combined with the blonde who had his issues, but even worse they all came spilling out. It made him scared to be honest and while he did ask the other out, he thought it would be a simple matter, but come to find out the guy he choose was way more complicated than he thought and in turn had a way of bringing things to the surface a lot quicker than Rika anticipated.

Within less than two hours, this situation had gone from somewhat awkward and good to somewhere near the bottom of the barrel of bad. As it stood now, it was uncertain what would happen between the demon and the man before him. While the other was calm, Rika was wired and unpredictable. He knew he shouldn’t be this way, but unlike a normal person who could shut this part of their brain off, Rika’s limiters and walls had cracked and burst causing the negativity to run wild only being amplified by things gone wrong. Did this mean that Rika was an unreasonable hard to handle whiny baby? Hard to handle yes, but the rest no. He had some good traits, but he realized this break probably put him on very thin ice of the other actually giving him the chance to prove himself. He knew this and hated himself for it...cause in reality even if the other had his own issues, this was solely Rika’s fault. If he hadn’t given that outburst, it probably never would’ve gotten here, but here they were….

The demon would remain quiet as he watched the other watching him with tired eyes. He drained alright, but at least for now the storm had passed ad this was a recovery stage of sorts. It would take a while for him to get back up though due to the way he worked, but he would be okay in the end….He thought so at least. Anyway, what was happening here? Oh yes...this strange convo of worry and hugs.

To what was said the demon would hear what was said alright, but instead of saying a ton back, he would look down with a sigh as his hand moved to the left side of his head to pet the hair and ear their. It was an odd move that made it seem like the demon was trying to comfort himself even more so with that uncomfortable look he wore on his face...and perhaps that was the case. Maybe he really was comforting himself. It was hard to say.

What could be said was that it took a moment for the demon to speak at all and when he did, it wasn’t more than a short sentence of: “...I understand…” But even if he did understand what the other was saying and what he was asking him to do that still did not change the fact that this was not some easy task for Rika. What the other asked him to do was be reasonable and normal, but the truth of the matter was that he was not normal and so trying to do what he was being asked would take more effort on Rika’s part than your average joe throwing a fit. He wanted to say something, but in the end he would just close his eyes and shake his head as he kept his face turned away from the other.

He had been trying to explain that about himself already, but already the other was just coming to conclusion that resulted in him chilling out and not doing what he was doing. He felt as if he tried to explain things, this hole would get bigger and bigger, the explaining in itself getting nowhere. His issue was something to be addressed alright, but how could one address it without going in circles and making an already questionable situation worse? The demon honestly didn’t know and as he opened his eyes, he would just place that one the back burner for now. He could try and untangle that mystery when he was not before the other.

Moving on, the demon’s eyes would eventually turn back to the other as he heard what he had to say. It would take him a moment to actually speak, his mind turning in that strange fog of emotional wreckage, but in time he did eventually speak. “I seek a partner because as much as I can be on my own...I think it would be nice to have an actual person in my life again that is not family. I honestly want to share my life with another, but I suppose I’ve dealt with it so long and know how it comes off that I am a bit hesitant to do it...yet I know how this ends when I do that. After all, it was this that broke the last relationship too. You’d think I learn, but in all honest it just confirmed what I thought back then. Being me just wasn’t worth it. I was too much of a handful...and perhaps when stepping into this that was still my mind set. I figured it was best to keep the worse of me out of this….and yet when you told me to be honest with my feelings the worse came out and in turn..this,” the demon would sigh a bit. “I know you probably want to toss me over a cliff right about now for as many times as I’ve said the words “I fear this or that” only for you to turn around and repeat that there is no need for that and trust you. I hear you and some part understand what you mean, but at the same time just like you with feelings, I don’t know how to share this, so even if I try, I come off more skittish and sneaky than I really am or just flat out fall on my face like this. I wish it was easier...but it is not and I knew it wasn’t an easy and won’t ever be. Even so...I wanted to try again and perhaps this time around not trip as badly and find someone that actually understood me and what I am, but in the end, I still messed up and ended back up at the same square before she left.” the demon would pause as he gave a soft snort and smiled bitterly before looking away again. It was sad honestly. Very, very sad.

He would continue to be quiet, thinking to himself until he apologized to the other and in turn got a response he did not expect. To what he said the demon would look over at him, his moody expression vanishing into one of light shock as he raised his eyebrows slightly at the other. “For myself….and not others….” He repeated the words softly as his eyes narrowed a bit at the other in thought rather than as a threat or in offense. He admitted he worked hard to fix his ways and get himself together, but this was the first time he was actually halted in this process to ask himself: for who are you doing this for?

This whole time he thought he was doing it for himself, but in reality? He couldn’t say with certainty that that was the truth. He was working yes, but perhaps to make himself more likable for others rather than more likable and accepting to himself…Interesting, but something he would only ponder a bit before he looked up at the other as he spoke.

“Hmph.” An amused smirk would come to the demon’s lips as he heard the response back, but outside of that he wouldn’t say much more as he began the game silence game with a simple observation that got the other looking at him rather curiously.

To the look given, the demon’s eyes would narrow with the gentle smile he gave and then deciding to do something a bit different, he would stay in his spot for a while longer his form becoming mirage like and shifting before it became clear again. When it was clear Sharaku would find himself looking at multiple tailed fox that would watch him quietly with strange black eyes before getting up and coming over to him. Much like a cat, Rika would rub against the other’s leg finding it easier and less awkward to do this in his original form versus his human one. As he did this, he would close his eyes and let out something similar to a purr, but very different considering he was not a cat. Either way, it was a nice sound despite its oddness, so the other didn’t have to worry about his ears hurting from this. Even so the demon wondered briefly how the other would take to this, but then reminding himself he wasn’t suppose to think and just do, he would acknowledge the thought, but put it away for later and focused on just staying in the moment.

Well, understanding was generally limited by each person’s ability/willingness to try and understand something, thus it was probably impossible to accurately tell who was truly the harder one to understand at the end of the day. They each had their own challenges that came in the package when one wanted to figure them out, and the difficulty would appear different based on how much skill in that area the person dealing with them had at that moment. The major difference between the two of them and their approaches to ‘relationships’ of any sort was likely the fact that Rika tended to seek to please and conform first of all, while he was way more likely to just have a ‘deal with it’ attitude unless he was at the point where he cared about a person enough to be willing to compromise himself even on the chance that it might not work out at all and only cause him troubles. So yes, he could at times be very unbending on surface, and definitely a ‘good’ choice if one wanted to enjoy some good struggle at first. Seeing as he was not as super accommodating right away, a person who was not naturally confident in themselves when it came to relationship matters would likely face some obstacles due to not being able to go head to head with him in certain areas. Of course, he did have his own shortcomings in the matter, so it was way more complex than just that.

It was an odd balance though. While he wasn’t scared of people hating him for who he was the way the demon was, he definitely wasn’t pleased when that happened. In his own way, at least. It came out differently though, and he did not ponder about it as hard most of the time. It was probably because he was generally pretty content being on his own, and thus less attached to the idea of needing to be on someone’s good side. And he was unlikely to fall in love on first sight or such, which would more or less be a requirement for him to be super antsy right off the bat. Yet, he still cared in a sense though. There was probably no exact way to explain that.

He would frown slightly. ‘’…it’s not really about the fear. Everyone fears something I suppose. Can’t butt heads with that much, even though overcoming it is a nice path to take. I think I just wish you would tone down a little on your eagerness to embrace the worst possibility too fast. It makes things harder for both of us I think. You’re already talking like you know what I’m probably thinking and what this all means for you, but I somehow fail to see how that kind of thinking leads very far at times. Anyone would need time to get used to some big news after all. Same with the explanations around it. Even if I hear what you’re saying, it doesn’t mean I can process it the way you want me to at lighting speed to make things seem like they’re going alright first thing. I’m just kind of at loss of what to say, because while I do need you to explain so I know, it’s also extremely tough to keep the talk going without early misunderstandings of intention cropping up.’’, he would state after a moment of though with a light sigh. This was truly going nowhere to be honest. They just kept going in circles if they tried to get to the bottom of it right on spot without giving it the time to sink in first. Then again, how else could they talk about this….? Hmm.

Anyway…’’Yes…I mean, the point is for you to accept yourself properly first, before trying really hard to make others accept you too. I think the also latter comes along by itself with time. For if you project that you’re so discontent with yourself and whatever you do, people are more likely to fall for that as it is what they can perceive of you and then take on the same pattern of thinking, no matter how much you try to prove them wrong. How can others accept you if you haven’t fully accepted yourself yet? It sounds contradictory to me, at least. Besides, if not that, I personally always found healthy self-confidence one of the more attractive traits in a person.’’, he would shrug lightly as he watched the demon thoughtfully. Well, food for thought if nothing else. He couldn’t tell how the guy really thought deep down, but the fact that he seemed at least taken aback by his earlier words suggested that there was maybe something to it there. Maybe. It remained to be seen for now.

As for what happened next? To be honest, he was a little confused at what was going on. The whole transform thing did not bother him really, but he didn’t get what was the guy after. He wasn’t able to interpret an animal as easily as a human, and they had a limited range of expressiveness as well, making this much harder. Plus, it was just odd in general. Maybe the demon was aiming to make it less awkward….but, doing what he had would also make it come across differently. Not that he was trying to judge, but being rubbed up against by an animal registered a bit differently than having a human be affectionate in a similar way. It just did. Even when it was technically the very same person there. There wasn’t much he could do about his internal response, to be honest. Maybe in time, but it would take more frequent exposure to this for him to get on board with the idea fully. Right now, he was in fact the one feeling kind of awkward instead.

For the time being, the other would just get a look that was a mix of confusion and a bit of ‘errr’, as he stood there, not sure what to do about it.

It was true that Rika had a very different approach to relationships and the way he handled things in general that clashed with the other in a rather noticeable way. It was also true that Rika personality was more giving, but at the same time also a bit unpredictable due to the issues that came with him. On the surface he seemed unstable, timid and weak in comparison to someone sure of themselves; however, what the guy lacked in confidence or even tact, he made up for with stubbornness, determination, and his ability adapt. While the latter typically helped Rika at least fake his issues away when it came to other people, here and now his usual techniques failed him.

The other was right when he believed he tried to conform to other’s expectation for if he had a more “deal with it” attitude like the other, he would not have done what he had done nor would he have broken the way he did. It was an embarrassing mess honestly and yet Rika did not run from his mistakes or any consequences that came along with it. He took each blow and walked along the painful path watching as within a few moments happiness turned into torment and for a second or two there looked very well like a situation where due to trying to hard, the demon was going to lose the very thing he was after; however, he got either rather lucky or he misread the other in some way because despite how much hell he literally just put the guy though, he was still here and even agreeing to continue to walk the rocky path with him. It was strange really and honestly caught the demon off guard. It made him wonder about the why behind the other doing this, but he didn’t get to ponder the curiosity too long before conversation and other things were getting in the way.

The demon would watch the other as he spoke and upon hearing what he said, the demon’s eyes would lower as he looked off to the side, thinking a bit.

“...I think…..I think that maybe the thing though. I am so used to the expectation that people will sweep it under the rug and pretend its not there that when I am actually face-to-face with someone who doesn’t do it right off the bat I honestly don’t know what to do. The usual methods used in life fail me here and forces me to do something, I haven’t done before or rather haven’t done since I was a child and did not care what the world thought of me, so I understand where you are coming from and that this all takes time….I suppose I too need time to adapt to and learn.” He would look over at the other his expression calm despite the slight puffiness and redness to his eyes as he gave a light nod. “I will work on the negative thoughts and keeping them in check.” It was a bad habit and one he honestly was working to undo. He couldn’t guarntee anything, but he could at least try. Though how far words would get him at this stage was beyond him.

He felt like they were still butting heads not really solving anything, but then again could they really at this point? These matters that had come up were not small feats, so he highly doubted any resolution any time soon, but the fact it seems the other was willing to work on it regardless was good enough for the demon. He counted as a success that the guy hadn’t just gone nope and walked off leaving him alone. Though the getting along part was questionable at the moment at least they seemed to have worn each other down into a calmer state. Though how good or bad that was yet to be seen. Regardless things would move elsewhere…

“Hmmm...well I will admit, I lack that trait, but we suppose it is what is as much as I try to adapt. Can’t change the facts there,” the demon would respond back as he heard the next part about self-confidence and the acceptance of the self. Perhaps the other was right there, so there was not much to argue against when it came to the matter. As for what followed, well perhaps it was good that the silent game had begun for who knew what sort of debates would’ve risen from the form shift.

Well despite the other becoming very confused, Rika was not upset that the other did not respond back to what he did. In fact, he honestly wasn’t expecting a reaction outside of either petting or being kicked, but having neither happen was okay too since the move was more of a way of apologizing, and showing he held no ill feelings towards the other more so than anything. Granted this was a subtle thing and one that Rika was pretty sure the guy didn;t get as he looked up at the other and was met with a confused look.

Walking a few paces away, he would shift back to his human before looking over at the other with an gentle yet amused look as he simply shook his head and then without words moved his head slightly in the direction of the path they were on before this happened. He was asking him to walk with him, but just in case the other didn’t get it, he would take a few steps back the way they came, before pausing and looking back at the other his tail swishing a bit as he waited to see what the other would do.

Well, maybe the problem there was that faking things only worked on people who accepted that kind of approach. And honestly, he kind of despised fake faces. Unless one truly had something good to gain by pretending temporarily, he saw faking as a rather…unseemly thing to do? Or such. He didn’t have a perfectly fitting word for it. He could say rude, but that was a little too extreme. Although in some situation, that kind of behavior could certainly be rude in a way. Regardless, close relationships relied a lot on honesty from both parties. Who in their right mind would believe that playing the pretend game would nab them the prize? It would only cover up stuff, and then deliver a very unpleasant blow once it came to light eventually. No one likes finding out they were lied to for a good chunk of time. That alone could be the breaking line, even if the so called ‘secret’ wasn’t that bad in the first place. A lot of people would struggle with keeping the relationship afloat once they’ve had their trust in the other person betrayed in some way. Thus, he would honestly rather face things head on and be able to decide whether he wanted to stay around on his own terms, instead of being pulled by the nose with promises of things being fine and then slapped across the face hard later. That was actually a good recipe for making him pissed in some way.

He would huff faintly. ‘’Well, I wonder what the people think then. Pushing something away will create big holes later, and that is not what one should want in any relationship that goes beyond an acquaintance. I personally think it’s stupid to hide, unless you are willing to face the possibility that the person in question will think you’ve been pulling their nose and playing with their trust. Mainly if it’s something as significant as in your case. And same thing goes the other way. Can you really say someone who doesn’t face you and just pretends your problems aren’t there is worth being in a close relationship with? If they just avoid dealing with you for the most part, then would you be able to trust that they’ll be there for you when you need them to be? I think those kinds of people are the ones you do not want to set your standards around. In my opinion, at least.’’ Or at least when it comes to the standards for people you want to be closer with. Those people who sweep it all under the rug…how much do they really care if they can carelessly do such a thing? Sure, it may be a tough topic, but if one simply runs first thing, they’re already hinting that they probably won’t be able to deal with it in long term.

‘’Some things probably can be changed.’’ He wouldn’t say much more on the topic though, as the demon wasn’t giving him a lot of bait to swallow there. In which case, he saw no reason to try to push for more conversation which may not be a good idea or even necessary given their situation. Regardless, he was just saying. Not every trait could be altered, but there were still some that one could lose/gain. Confidence was something that one could develop if they took the right paths. May not be an easy task, depending on your current state, but definitely not an impossible one either.

As for the silence, it was arguable whether it was a good thing to not have any debates over what just happened. Yes, he was confused and definitely didn’t get it. In this particular case, there wasn’t much that could be done about that, but normally…the demon would probably benefit more from addressing it. He would never be able to interpret those subtle things unless he learned how to understand them. Therefore, the guy would have to let him know what was it about when it happened instead of just drawing back and thinking ‘oh well, failed’ or such. The only way he’d learn is through figuring it out, and it was unlikely he would do so on his own without having any idea what was he supposed to be getting in the first place. Because honestly, to him, the action that had been performed only invoked a bunch of ?’s. Really, call him dumb or whatever, but he would probably never even think that a random form shift + leg rubs meant apologies. That just did not compute, and even if he did consider the idea, it would be one of many other ideas…thus, he wouldn’t know for sure anyway. The two of them were not always on the same wavelengths, and sometimes very far from it actually, so more open communication would likely be a must in some cases. Until they learned each other’s ways enough to not need any guidance at all. For now though, they would have to contend with the errors, as there was no way to get details across without speaking.

Ehhh, whatever. He would just blink at the guy and shrug lightly before moving to follow. Well, what else he could do at the moment? To be honest though, he had a feeling this would be tougher than he would have liked it to be. Because if they ended up simply walking forward and not doing anything, it could get mildly awkward pretty fast. While he enjoyed some meaningful silence, awkward ones were a slight problem. Or could be, at least.

It was honestly hard to say if the way some choose to live life was a good thing or a bad thing. While the situation of sweeping it under the rug did not apply, this was the field Rika had been playing on in his last relationship and to be honest one that perhaps the one he fused with had been playing on to. In both cases, the one that loved them seemed to accept them, but at the cost that they couldn’t really be themselves and when they did try to be themselves, the other party either found some way to push them down or pat them on the back and call that making it better. He wasn’t quite sure how or when he had become so submissive towards things, but perhaps the years of trying to please others had placed him in this state now and made it times hard to hold his head high, but even so...he tried.

Even more so when for the first time in a long time, he found something real and not fake. This guy...despite how they clashed and what not, was just honest and after being raked across the coals and broken before, perhaps this was all he needed in the end. Either that or he was a gluttony for pain. It was hard to say. Regardless, the demon would fold his left ear down as he scratched in thought.

“I am unsure what people think….but I think in those situations they may think it safe or perhaps just a way of avoiding carrying a burden. I suppose in the end it is not a deep sort of love, but maybe I took it because...it was something. Just a little something to make the world seem less gloomy. What you said is true...you can’t rely on them to be there and hiding yourself is indeed a bad move. It all leads to misery thus the first relationship broke...I suppose I got tired of remaining broken and sought to help myself….a tough path, but I thought I was doing pretty well until all this other stuff happened and proved me wrong.” The demon would shake his head. “Regardless, I learned my lesson, but have not quite learned to unlearn the hiding part…”

While it was true he had found a way to cope alone and understood that by bringing another into his life he would have to open up in a fashion, he was still wired to hide and being suddenly placed in an arena where that did not work sort of short weird things and caused him to spazz (in a figurative way) as he adapted to this new challenge. It would take a while, but the demon was hoping to be able to open up to the guy even more. It would be nice to be accepted for who he was and perhaps by learning to that amongst other things he could find the confidence lost and also grow perhaps into a better person than he was now. It was hard to say, but even if things were not as smooth as he would’ve preferred them to be maybe there was some chance at something since the man was still here and talking to him now.

Though conversation would become more and more scarce as they continued to chat until finally, the only answer Rika would give back is a soft “Perhaps” when the topic of what could be changed and such came to an end. They had said as much as they could on the subject for now and so the demon would let it rest as silence came and with it the odd silence game.

It was true that they had agreed to silence, but it seemed the very first thing Rika did would cause some form of confusion and probably a need for chat; however, the demon would not part his lips as for now he just let it go. If the other wanted to break the silence game he could, but for the most part the demon would not as he just rolled with it for now as he gestured for the other to walk with him. He would take note of the actions the other did before falling in step with him quietly walking up the path at first doing nothing, but in time he would move slightly closer and reach out to take the other’s hand. Maybe this was okay for now though how long could they keep quiet or how long Rika would take the lead was a questionable thing indeed. Regardless, he would keep walking along side the other for now.

Fake acceptance was probably one of the worse things to just contend with. That’s one way to never be truly happy, but still have some reason to back up why you aren’t quitting it yet, making it that much harder to move on when you definitely should. Some things you can and maybe even have to compromise, yes, but there are also ones that you should not be willing to give up just for the sake of being with someone.

‘’I think this is one of the areas where we shouldn’t seek to contend with less if we could get more. Relationships shouldn’t be an escape, because the only one who is in control of your happiness at the end of the day is you yourself. Not someone else. Another can help, but if you aren’t willing to be happy by yourself, you probably won’t be any other way either. I personally would rather spend half my life alone over being with someone just to feel a little bit better about things. I like to think that I do not need someone to be there for me to feel good. It’s definitely a pleasant extra to have, that much I agree with, but I would not contend with just any partner simply for the sake of having them there as pseudo support. It only really matters if it’s real, for it’s really something that is optional for us.’’ He didn’t really seek validation from others. It was nice to get it when someone decided to give it honestly, but he wouldn’t really grab at it first thing. Perhaps that was also one of the reasons why most people had troubles handling him, and didn’t quite want to go out with him? He didn’t really hide the fact that he felt no need to depend on people, which by itself made it harder for others to keep him by their side. Plain companionship and all the other shallow jazz would not succeed at holding him in place. He was just fine being by himself, and thus a person who wanted him to settle with them would have to offer something significant there. Many people relied on wrapping others around their fingers with simple sugary tactics, and he would honestly have none of that. At the end of the day, most people didn’t seem to have what it took to prove to him that they were truly worth more than the freedom of not being tied to someone else. He was sure not an easy one to bend.

Moving on from all the talking though, they would soon arrive at…well, a rather plain scenery. It was certainly hard to do much without speaking, but they would probably have to find something soon, or it would start getting a little weird. Or well, find some good reason to be silent without it being awkward. In all honesty, this was kind of boring. For a while, he would go along with the walk, not protesting at all when the guy went to hold his hand, though he would watch the other from the corner of his eyes, seemingly thinking about something. Eventually, he would snort under his breath lightly, opting to stop in place. Which would likely halt the demon as well, since they were holding hands at that point. Well, if the other would like to have him take the lead, it could sure happen, but it would likely not be a conventional activity…

Heh. A small smile would actually cross the demon’s lips. “In the past, I might’ve argued that point and claimed what I had was real. It certainly feels real, but in the end you are right. It honestly isn’t worth it and to be honest depending on who you are the whole process does more damage than good in the long run. For me...I want to say it was where I lost my confidence in myself and while I did somewhat pull myself up again...it still isn’t all there. If it was, you’d never have to contend with this part of me. I sort of envy you for being able to stand firm. Wish I could’ve done so too,” the demon would say. His words were soft and calm. There was no lashing or suggesting he was misunderstanding what was being said. He simply took it in and while it hurt to admit, he face the issue head on. Back then he had really tried to hard to be a people pleaser and clung to false hope until the day he had nothing to cling onto and thus fell. It was hard looking back on it, but he did to remind himself where he did not wish to be anymore.

Regardless of that moment, things would turn to silence and he suppose calmness? He wasn’t really sure what to think on the matter. All he knew was that, they had agreed to stop talking and just do things he supposed though outside of the initial rub and current hand-holding not much was going on. It was kind of hard to be honest. The demon didn’t know the other well enough to know what could entertain him or keep him engaged. And when he tried to think of something, nothing came to mind, but then again...maybe that was the point of this? To not think and just to go along with whatever? He honestly didn’t know as they moved along the path, the demon’s eyes watching the landscape and occasionally the other as they moved along slightly curved and hilly paths. He wasn’t sure how long it was they walked in silence, but in time he heard a snort from the other and a few seconds later felt light resistance on his hand which naturally caused him to pause and turn towards the other. Looking up at the taller man, he would tilt his head slightly as he gave him a curious look wondering what was up. Why had he stopped so suddenly? What was he about to do?

“Mew?” was the soft sound he would let out as he continued to hold the other’s hand and watch him.

He would half-shrug lightly. ‘’I cannot say how I would act in that situation, since I’m just not one to eagerly give myself up to someone else in the first place.’’ What would he be like if he got kicked off by someone? Well, that would probably depend on how much he cared about them to begin with. Which, theoretically wouldn’t be all that great if they were really just giving him half-assed support and all that. It was hard to say though, as he was a rather different kind of person than the demon was. It’s not to say that it wouldn’t affect him at all, but he wasn’t that easy to shatter into pieces either. In fact, if anything, he would be the one to break himself, rather than someone else doing it. That was much more likely to happen. ‘’I think that you just need to remember that you don’t need to settle for less than you actually deserve. So don’t be too hard on yourself. We all face our own failures to get to the best possible ending.’’ Was that him trying to be nice…? Maybe. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

At any rate, all of that would turn into nothingness soon, as they entered the territory of silence and casual walking for a while. While being the keyword, that is. Not that he minded the chill and all, but it did get a little bland after some time. There had to be something they could do, right? He was honestly starting to feel a little restless at this point, and while the demon seemed to get rid of his stress well by crying and acting out like that, he would rather a more physical way of chilling out. The main issue was that he was not quite familiar with this forest, but then again, it would not be the first time he’d been in such a place, so he could still hope he could at the very least navigate decently and not get himself into trouble due to something stupid. He was generally ok with forests, and well, if something tried to harm him, he’d deal with it then? Hopefully not though. He didn’t like the idea of having to hurt someone here for no real reason.

When the demon turned to face him with that sound, he would only offer an amused glance at the guy before he moved a few quick steps to the side, pulling himself out of the other’s hold. He would hold the gaze for a moment longer before making a ‘come’ gesture with his hand, turning around and walking into the forest itself rather swiftly. Were they playing tag now….? Well, who knew….

“I wouldn’t say that I am one to do that either; however, perhaps that is a story for another time,” the demon would say his tone remaining calm and soft. There was really more to that story than what he had said. The person he spoke of...he really had fallen hard for them and that is why he had stayed so long. He honestly prayed it would all work, but in the end it didn’t. Even so, the demon did not feel like going into details and potential going into another debate/over-explaining. He honestly could not handle that right now, so he would leave it at that. His eyes would drift to look back at the other as he spoke again, his eyebrows raising at first in surprise before the look vanished into a softer one as the small smile became a lopsided one. “I think I learned my lesson pretty well. Thanks though,” he would respond back softly. There seemed to be appreciation there in the demon’s eyes though if the other caught such things or understood what it meant was another matter.

Regardless what happened there, chatter would fall into silence and silence into peaceful walks, and walks into ???. Well Rika wasn’t sure what this was as he looked over at the other and took note of the amused look. He didn’t quite understand what the other was doing even less so when the guy made his move his hand slipping out of his. Perplexed the demon’s eyebrows would furrow as he gave the other a look of confusion. Neh? Was he trying to play a different sort of game with him or was he hurrying off for another reason? Curious, the Rika would blink a couple of times before hurrying to catch up with the other. Thanks to height difference, Rika did have to trot a bit in order to keep up, but even so he didn’t seem to be bothered by it, his feet knowing the paths both hidden and not hidden well enough to not trip or fall. What was the other doing? He wanted to ask, but the rules forbade it so for now he just go with wherever this was going.

''Well, if you say so....'' It's not like he could force the guy into talking, and maybe he didn't even really want to anyway. It would probably not be the best of ideas right now, so the best he could do was leave it be and hope that if it was some important information, it would not just get completely forgotten in time. ''Mmm....'' It didn't seem like he was going to give much of a concrete response to the next statement, and whether he understood the meaning or not would remain more or less a mystery as well. Of course, the demon could try to ask him if he was curious enough, but otherwise it would remain up in the air. With how many confusions happened between them on daily basis though, maybe it wouldn't even really matter anyway, as it was a somewhat minor thing this time.

Moving onto different kinds of confusions however, it would seem that the other would be the one caught up in the net this time around. That was to be expected considering what was happening though, so he did not really stop to ponder it for the time being. Not that he could explain himself in any way or form unless he wanted to just break his own rules, that is. He would glance back at the guy very briefly after a short while of the little 'chase' game, before deciding to take a further detour. This time, it would be up. As in, he went on to climb one of the large, sturdier looking trees that crossed his path, and he appeared to be pretty good at it, surprisingly enough. The demon probably wouldn't be able to see how he was doing it so effortlessly unless really close up though, but hey. Mysteries were fun, right? Regardless, he would stop for a moment as he crouched on a thicker branch somewhere in the middle (not at the top, but not too low either), watching for the reaction before doing anything else.

The demon was quite happy when the other didn’t try to force his hand when it came to speaking on a personal matter. It wasn’t that he wouldn’t share, but rather he did not think it a good time to go through that. Besides it was a small story that while it could potentially give more information to the other about himself, it was also not so important that it needed to be address now. So with a nod the demon would let that one pass as he became quiet and remained that way even when he got that hum in response to his other words.

He could’ve poked more into the matter, but instead of doing that, the demon decided to simply trust the other and not overthink the sound. If he got it great and if not well, he suppose it wouldn’t hurt too badly for now. Besides the sound didn’t bother him badly enough to pry anyway, so he would leave it be as they moved from one mystery to the next.

For this next one it would seem the demon was more confused than the human as a small game of chase began. The demon would move to keep up with the other, his tail flicking a bit due to a small amount of playful energy in his system. He liked to chase, play hide-and-seek, puzzles, and hunting. They were simple task, but ones that challenged him to do things and think on his feet. Something that was proving true of this particular game as the taller of the pair paused look over at him before moving off the path and going up a tree?

Rika would pause at the base of the tree and simply watch the other climb up taking note how easily the other did so. Huh...perhaps he was a cat of some sort after all. After all he did recall seeing an outline of one back in that strange place he became whole in. Was it that that aided the man now? Or was he just a naturally good climber? It was hard to say. Even more so when the demon could not catch any glimpse of him using power or anything. Hmm..How strange, but something the demon would push away rather quickly as his mind took a brief moment to debate if he wanted to be lazy or actually do something more to get up the tree.

While this debate would only last for a few seconds, it was enough time for a third party to join in the fun namely a very odd bird that remained hidden within the foliage above. It’s body was black with light blue markings that glowed in the gloom and its eyes were golden. It would watch the pair below it taking note that the one on the ground was one of its adopted child that it was quite pleased to see again. It had wondered if the child had given up on their game of hide-and-seek, but it would seem the child had left and come back with back up. And what a back up indeed.

Golden eyes would look towards the one on the tree branch, the human looking one that smelled of a Guardian Spirit with powers like its own. How curious and how tempting to poke, but how to approach without startling or destroying fun? The creature would ponder remaining hidden for now as it simply watched.

Meanwhile below, Rika made up his mind deciding to choose the simpler root as his wings reappeared and after stretching them out a bit, he would push off the ground and take to the air. He would fly up to the branch the other was on, but instead of getting on the branch, he would rest his hands on the thick branch and as his eyes traveled to the man that was there. Staying airborne, he would tilt his head at the other wondering where he was going by climbing upward or for that matter why. Still he never parted his lips as he finally got on the branch balancing easily on the opposite end keeping his wings out and his tail flicking to remain balanced. He wasn’t sure what he was suppose to do, so he guess he would try to catch him? He did move towards the other, but rather he was caught or not was another matter.

The whole time this played out the strange bird watched the fox and a cat play together, keeping its presence masked as it continued to observe the unlikely pair.

Well, at the very least they seemed to be closer to being on the same page this time around compared to any other that happened recently. Some nice playing around and all couldn’t hurt unless done really wrong somehow. And hey, if it worked, it worked, right? Besides, it was a nice distraction considering that they weren’t supposed to talk anyway. What do you do when you have to be silent? Anything that isn’t a conversation or awkward silence, apparently. And while he wasn’t super energetic all of the time, he did have his moments here and there. A bit of exercise and such was never bad, as long as he wasn’t feeling too tired on that day.

Regardless…tree climbing. Was he using some powers? Maybe. Something obvious? Not quite. Just little tricks, so to say, although he was a fairly efficient climber even on his own. After all, he was no couch potato and he was pretty agile even without the whole feline abilities added on top of that. Together? He could put out quite the work if he wanted to, really. He just typically did not extend the energy for it. Plus, while he could use his powers to aid him in certain ways, he was not completely proficient in them either at the current time, thus certain things were still out of question. Then again, those were usually the big ones, like being able to actually turn into a cat, like Rika did into a fox. In all honesty, that was something he normally didn’t even need to utilize anyway, unless he would want to be super fancy. That, and he was way more fond of a human body shape for the most part, thank you very much. It was actually more versatile than being a big feline unless he would need to pull feats such as running really fast or the like. Regardless, not like he could do it without doing some training beforehand, so it was all just speculation at this point. Would he ever try? Who knew. Maybe being close with an actual demon like Rika would prompt him to toy with the idea eventually, but nothing was guaranteed.

…sad news of the day however, he could not fly. Therefore, the other had a rather significant advantage in that area, which certainly made it a bit harder for him. It sure takes less effort to just fly somewhere than to get there on your feet only. Not that he would back off from a challenge regardless. That aside, he would give Rika no real answers to the questioning looks that eventually came, aside from maybe some more amused glances. Not that he could even convey something specific through expressions only. What he could and needed to do though, was to move somewhere else unless he wanted to probably get grabbed at very soon. With a faint smirk, he would shift his weight and hop over to a nearby branch, scanning his surroundings for a brief second before making a leap to another tree that was closest by and settling on one of the branches there. He couldn’t fly no, but for as long as there were trees within a range that was not completely ridiculous and impossible, he could certainly maneuver around pretty skillfully in his own way. And well, there were no rules to this game, were there…?