Play Night

"Well I suppose that depends on what you define as okay. Most of the time you seem fine enough to me unless I am missing something." everyone had something they weren't okay with whether it was about themselves or specific things in life...but that was alright wasn't it? They didn't have to be things to ruin things or make them come unraveled right?

''Something that isn't constant weirdness and insanity I suppose.'' There's only so much of certain things and matters that can be constantly present before it starts to not be entirely okay all the time. Unless losing your mind or the like is actually your life long goal there or something like that.

"Constant madness, huh?" the demon would say with a light hum as he rested his hand that was stroking the other's hair on the bed for now. "Do you want to talk about that madness?" he would ask as golden cat like orbs watched the other. Trying to handle too much on your own could drive one mad, but what if one had someone there with them? Helping them carry the burden? Would it make it better?

He would click his tongue lightly at that. ''Well, in the end it all just amounts to me being an idiot anyway.'' For a few unnamed reasons. And some. Although at least he wasn't quite mad yet at least, so that was going well.

The demon would tilt his head at that one as he raised an eyebrow quite curious about the other's wording. "And how is it that you're being an idiot?" His words remained gentle and his demeanor open to anything.

''The whole me vs. relationships thing? It's complicated.'', he would sigh faintly as he frowned for a moment.

To what the demon heard, he'd look off to the side for a bit thinking. Half of him didn't want to get the other ruffled to the point he was sick again, but the other half knew that this could not be avoided so....

"Is it because of the way you are versus the world? Or is there something more to the picture you haven't stated yet?" Well had to continue somewhere right.

''I guess more the former? Though I sincerely doubt I've already said everything I could have anyway. Besides, I didn't think of it this way....'' That was a thing there. Yes, he had said quite a bit before, but he technically hadn't been aware just how far it went, in a sense?

"Hmm. There probably is a ton more we can talk about since we got here," the demon would begin as he moved his head slightly to save his neck from cramping. "Though what did you think it was before if not yourself?"

He would shake his head slightly. ''No...I knew it was me. I just thought it was more likely I simply wasn't good at it or something like that. It could have honestly been caused by anything less permanent than that I guess.'' Well, maybe he could have noticed before, but the approach he took towards the matter wasn't exactly helpful to it....

The demon would nod a bit at that one. He could kind of relate, but on a whole different level. Difference was the demon had already decided to face his issues head on and in some fashion come to better terms with them. Even so, he didn't let the difference stop him from being right here with the guy now as he spoke, his tail moving quietly on the bed behind him.

"True. Sometimes outside factors and things we don't know can play into it; however, now that you know what it is or at least have a start on it, what do you plan to do now?"

Well, it wasn't necessarily about a decision for him. For you can't decide to face something you aren't even truly aware of. And in case it had simply been him having bad luck with relationships, then there wouldn't even have been a tangible issue to try dealing with. Either way...his problem wasn't really about coming to terms with this in the present anyway. Although, there certainly was the question of what to do about the current situation he was in, concerning the demon. Frankly, he didn't have a satisfactory answer to it however.

The demon a small sigh would escape the demon as he thought for a moment. He honestly wished he could help, but what to do? "Trouble, huh? Well perhaps talking about what makes it troubling can help?"

''I meant it more as it being trouble in regards to the current situation.'', he would frown. ''I originally thought it was just due to bad picks...but to be entirely honest, I can't deny I simply do not care for relationships. I like my freedom. Seeing as I don't particularly reap any special boons from it, to me it generally feels like being put on a collar and a leash. A lot of extra obligation only my so called date truly benefits from in some way.....'' Which was quite a problematic dilemma. Really. If he felt no need to engage in romance nor sex, what was really the payback of maintaining a relationship for him? ''What am I supposed to do about that?''

"I...honestly don't know how to answer that," the demon said as he gave the other a small frown. "All I know is that a relationship isn't suppose to be like that, but rather one where both sides benefit and are free to be themselves. However...even if say that I also know I can't change how you feel about the matter and I would hate to put you in a position where you felt chained down. That is the last thing I would want out of the situation...." No he much rather the other be in a relationship with him due to the fact that the guy wanted it that way not because he wanted that.

Yeah, well theory was great. But what mattered in the end was the reality. It was great to know how relationships were and weren't supposed to be, but would that be of any use to him? The typical probably applied pretty well to people that fell in line with what a relationship was usually about. He didn't though...so, could the same system really be used for him too?

Rika would watch the other quietly for a moment as he tried to figure out just how to answer. He wanted there to be a clear cut response...but in this case? It was probably even less clear than other cases, so how was he even going to answer this?

A light frown would cross his face before he sighed lightly and looked away. "I can't say because in the end it all depends on you and whoever you landed with. If the one you are with is demanding you love them just as much as they love you and they don't seem to accept or understand your way, then I can see the struggle and where the burden comes from. It is no fun when the other is happy and you are miserable, so that sort of system wouldn't work; however," the demon would look back over at the other. "If you found someone who was open to difference and willing to work with you, then the balance wouldn't be so hard. For example, let's say you and i were in a relationship. You know how i am and now i know a bit more about how you are. We are opposites true, but I wouldn't care about that. What would matter would be you, the person not what you have or don't have in the giving department. You said you aren't snuggley and all that well that is okay. I don't require you to do that all the time. Sometimes it would be nice, but I could adapt to a life with less of it and still feel fine about it because I still have you and a hug or kiss isn't going to change the fact that you are you." The demon would sigh as he moved his freehand through his hair, trying to make the words make sense. "What am saying is that I think you'd work well with someone who isn't defining a relationship about what you can do for them exclusively and doesn't judge the situation by the amount "love" given. I think if you can find someone more or less on even ground on you and who wasn't trying to bound you down by this or that rule, then you'd not only be happier but the relationship would be balanced since both parties would be getting an equal share of it despite differences....if that makes any sense." Sometimes he wished he was telepathic. His thoughts were way more clearer, but trying to translate it into speech was a bit of a mess. He hoped the other wasn't too confused by it.

‘’I don’t think this is only about whether I feel miserable or not…’’ Although if he did, it definitely sucked quite a bit. ‘’I’m still confused about what I get from a relationship that I don’t have by myself? I just don’t feel like I ‘need’ to have a person glued to my side as often as that.’’ It just kind of didn’t compute for him. Having someone else in his life like that would mean he’d have to make compromises on his own time, maybe do things for them etc. etc. What for though? If you take away all the special things that normally make a relationship what it is…what are you even left with? Speaking of which…’’Besides, if we tone down on everything cuddle and all like you mentioned, is it even a relationship anymore? Because to me it sounds like we could just call ourselves friends at that point.’’ Maybe because to him there wasn’t too much difference between the two. If he did end up cuddling or such, he’d frankly be ok doing that with a friend too. As long as it was one he was close enough with, of course. So it was kind of hmmm for him.

The demon sometimes hated these sort of questions because in the end there was nothing he could do or say to convince the other. All he could do is speak from his point of view, a view which he wasn't sure would work on the other due to how he was, but the demon tried anyway.

"I suppose a relationship is what you and your partner make it. While understand most of your run in have been negative, if you did find the one so to speak, you'd have to judge for yourself if it is worth it or not. As for constantly being around them, well I admit I would want to see the one I am in love with more often than not. Living with them makes it easier, but at the same time I don't see the need to cling to them either. I understand the need for space, but even so it is nice to know someone is around...at least for me it is. I am not sure how to convince you being with another is constantly is a good thing. You'd honestly have to take a chance there and determine if you liked it or not." Even if one didn't have a need for something did it make it less of a want or an impossibility?  As for that other question, the demon would hum a bit as he thought. That one was pretty tough, but..

"I think it could still be a relationship. Just one on the less touchy side. As for being friends goes, I don't know. while I technically love everyone, the sort of love I have for a friend is a lot different than for someone I have an interest in going further with," the demon would say and then tilting his head at the other. "What would you do with a friend?"

‘’I already know I am extremely indifferent to it. To be honest, I think I’m a bit people averse at times. Some days it’s fine, but there are days where I honestly wish everyone would just leave me alone. I suppose I am a bit skeptical about it since a relationship figuratively chains you to another person. I can’t go date someone, and then end up making them feel like I don’t really want to spend time with them.’’ It kind of fluctuated with his mood. That’s not to say he couldn’t handle it for a while here and there…otherwise he would have gone insane during this stay over already, but the idea of something like this being a permanent or very common thing in his life? Frankly, he couldn’t deny it did almost make him cringe a little. He just valued his own space and privacy way too much to have someone be his shadow more often than not.

He would blink…’’Anything?’’ To him it just kind of didn’t make a huge difference. ‘’I suppose for me it all simply blends in together in the end. I wouldn’t even bother with the whole distinction if it wasn’t for people wanting to use labels. Speaking of which…I guess it’s also the fact that if I say someone’s my boyfriend, everyone will immediately assume we do all those things even if it isn’t necessarily true. You can’t satisfy everyone one way or another….’’

The demon would listen to all the other said before actually answering, his tail curling a bit in a thought as he shuffled through it all for a bit. It would take him a few seconds, but in time he would move a hand to gently stroke the other's hair just once as he observed him for a bit.

"I guess it could be chaining if we went about this in the normal fashion and maybe it might seem pretty bad in the end. However, I am not that clingy, so i could survive a while if you simply didn't want to be bothered with us. I think it is alright to have personal space if that is what you desire. As long as you aren't blocking me all the time, I could manage that way." He honestly wasn't as demanding as he seemed and while he did enjoy spending time with another, he was also content with simply existing within the same space with another and not necessarily doing anything. And if one left him completely alone, well that was fine. It wouldn't be problem unless the abandonment lasted for an extended period of time. Like a week without a word. Then he'd get a bit concerned, maybe even sooner than that depending on the situation.

As for the friend thing, the information was beginning to help the demon understand the other a bit better and with that understanding, he began to look for other options. "It is all the same to you and perhaps that is not so far from the truth considering I wouldn't want anything to change between us behavior wise. The only thing is....I am a bit possessive I suppose. I do require loyalty and certain things to be exclusively for me and no one else. That the only catch and the difference between a friend and a partner to me." Among some other things too, but that was the big defining factor. That aside..."As for others, well people will think what they will I suppose, but in the end they know nothing. That remains between us and whoever we choose to share the information with. While the world may assume, I don't think we are obligated to blend in or explain our choices too others. If it works for us, then that should be enough." It was their business after all even if the world wanted to try and not make that so.

He would raise an eyebrow slightly. ‘’Hmph, and what is a ‘while’ for you?’’ Frankly, he could easily not bother with someone for a month and not see it as a problem. Though, he guessed he didn’t have too much of an issue with keeping contact through messages or the like, if really need be. However, when it came to actual face to face contact he was about as low maintenance as possible, in all honesty. A couple weeks of not meeting would likely not even bug him much. He really had no inclination to frequent someone else’s living space unless he had some sort of reason to be doing it.

Though, eh? ‘’Well, I don’t exactly fancy the idea of being owned or such, so I’d hope you don’t have anything extreme in mind. As a matter of fact, what are these ‘certain things’ you speak of?’’ Loyalty he didn’t have much of an issue with. Considering his nearly nonexistent drive to engage with others on a closer level, he didn’t have a motivation to cheat or such in the first place. That was simply a bother he did not need in his life. ‘’Anyway, I just don’t enjoy being put into figurative boxes by people. It’s honestly annoying when someone assumes something about you and then won’t stop bugging you over the matter in some way.’’ Like when people think two people hanging out are a couple and then make comments about how cute it is, ask questions and whatnot. Stuff like that seriously made him want to clock someone in the face at times. Just no.

"A week is a bit worrisome, especially if there is no reasoning behind the disappearance. It would make me wonder if I perhaps had done something to chase the other away." The demon wasn't needy, but he did like to know what was up if someone did poof on him, even more so if they were in a relationship. If he couldn't see the other chat could tide him over, but in the end he'd eventually want to be with the person face-to-face. Though on that note..."Since you asked, how long would you go before seeing someone again?" Perhaps the other had a different time frame in mind or maybe none at all. In any case, the demon found it better to know, even if it was something he may not agree with.

As for the other topic, the demon would smirk a bit at this one as he shook his head. "It is not as bad as it seems. I am not going to literally chain you to my side and demand you not go anywhere. i just expect you to be loyal and not do things like sleep around with others or doing other things that fall into the cheating box. Outside of honesty and open communication that is my biggest thing. Outside of that you are free to do what you want." He was pretty laid back and low maintenance, but start keeping him in the dark, lying, flirting with others, sleeping around, and other things like that? Do those things and the demon had no issue poking into things or even baring fangs. While he wasn't overly aggressive or jealous, he had no tolerance for things like that thanks to the strain it placed on a relationship and also not being able to trust another. He hated that feeling like no other. That aside, he would hum lightly at the other topic.

"I suppose that could get annoying if one is persistent enough and honestly it can be a pain to correct them, but then again I am not one to fight that battle most of the time. If they start poking into my business, then I kindly tell them its is a private matter or it is none of their business. Most back off and if they don't I am good about walking away and ignoring." He was pretty tolerant of most words as long as they weren't an attack or just overly annoying. He had the right to his privacy after all.

‘’Assuming we are speaking of face to face meetings, I honestly don’t have a problem with a month or so. Unless I have a reason to suspect something has happened to the person. I don’t mind phone calls or messages though…I’m just not the one to miss direct meetings too much.’’ He was usually more interested in the conversation itself than the ability to stare at the person, or touch them. And he could easily have the former through a chat or so, thus lowering his motivation to chase someone for an actual meeting. If poked about it, he would probably go, but if left to his own devices, he may not be the one to initiate such.

He would raise an eyebrow with a somewhat joking eyeroll. ‘’Do I look like someone who’s interested in doing that?’’ Honestly, with how hard it was to even get him to settle with some relationship, the chances of him wanting to cheat and all that stuff were probably nonexistent. What would he do that for? Empty entertainment? To him, it would likely not even be that. Just an annoyance, since you could get someone stuck to you that way. Nothing worse than a person who refuses to stop bugging you and trying to win you over.

He would snort. ‘’I just get annoyed by these older people swooning over ‘cute couples’ and stuff like that. I have no issue with telling people off, but at times it almost seems rude to do it…’’ But they can be so annoying. On the other hand, what do you do when someone is trying to dote on you too much or so? Showing them the finger doesn’t sound right. Ah well.

"Huh, I suppose you could hold off and do well with longer periods than I. I would probably want to see or do something with you a bit more often than that. Chat and the phone is nice, but that doesn't fill the void of wanting to see you...." Or touch for that matter. It wasn't a daily thing, but still it was kind of there anyway. He just needed that face-to-face interaction or touch here and there to feel balanced when in relationship. It was just how he was. Being denied it for too long and he started to get a bit depressed, anxious, or lonely. His thoughts could drive him batty if left alone too long with them. Thankfully he had a psychiatrist on hand to help through such matters, but still...that didn't change the fact that face-to-face or physical contact was still part of his core being, so yeah. That topic aside though, the demon would give the other a sheepish smile as he shook his head at the question.

"No you don't, but I didn't want you to think I meant a literally chain or hold on you when I said that. Also you did question what I meant, so I answered." He wasn't worried about the other cheating on him, but still a bit of clarity didn't hurt now did it?

"Hmm. It can be hard to say things to certain people, I can agree, but when it comes to the older ones, I find easier to let them think what they will and leave it at that." Sometimes there is no point in fighting if they were stuck in their ways. Though he would tell them gently to back off if they got too invasive. There was always a polite or gentle way of doing things...at least for him there was.