Sick Times Are Not Fun

"I wouldn't consider odd to be the right word for it...." It was simply unhealthy in one way or another. There wasn't much use in sugarcoating it by trying to call it just strange. That said, it wasn't necessarily that he wasn't self aware himself, but it was very different for him in the way it happened. He was certainly aware on a subconscious level at the very least, but he was often rather numb when it came to dealing with it in real time. It was most likely just a defense tactic his mind came up with. If you can't process the emotion properly, it should theoretically hurt you less, right? Well, it sadly didn't work out as well as it sounded in long term, that's for sure, seeing as it caused a lot of side problems in return.

In any case, he would open his mouth to say something towards the comment the other gave him, then close it for a moment, before actually speaking up for real. "I'm pretty adept at functioning even when half delirious. I got this. Though...I was mostly just referring to the fact that I can't teleport to the bathroom or such, meaning I will have to get up sooner or later..." And honestly, if he were to drink all this water and whatnot, it would likely be sooner than later for real. That aside, he would watch the other silently through the whole cooling down issue, clearly intent on at least keeping his eyes on the other if nothing else. "Ow. Cold.", he would make a slight disgruntled sound. "Why is this a good idea again...?"

"I often wonder if any words are right for these sorts of cases," the demon would say looking off to the side in thought. Though whatever, he was pondering he wouldn't show as he just remained quite for a bit before blinking and looking back at the other as he responded to his comment about moving.

The demon would give the other a small smile at that one. "I know," the demon would say the words in a calm and gentle way. Before he nodding and focusing on the situation of cooling the guy down. As he worked, he took the other was watching him, but he didn't seem to mind as he placed the ice packs down with care and precision. When the other made his comments, the demon would give the other an apologetic look.

"I know it can be uncomfortable, but at least it should help with keeping you cool and fighting the fever," he would say as he kneeled down so that he and the other were eye level. "Have you taken any medicine?" he would ask as his eyes drifted to meet the others. His behavior was surprisingly calm and gentle versus riled up. Strange really, but maybe this was just another side of the demon the other was getting to know.

He would frown. "Isn't...a fever technically a positive thing though?" It was your body's way of fighting the sickness after all. As long as you weren't being put in danger due to the heat going off the charts, or feeling way too bad in general...what positives did lowering it actually have? Nevertheless, he would just huff. "No. Nothing's going to really help this anyway." Technically, he could have taken painkillers or such, but he kind of couldn't be bothered. It wasn't a vital necessity either way.

The demon would tilt his head at the question as he remained kneeled. "I suppose it depends on how one looks at them. I see them as a bit worrisome and should be controlled lest it get worse." Yes it was the body's way of fighting, but if one could shouldn't they try to do what it took to make the resting process easier? That aside, the demon would listen to the next comment as he sat down on the floor instead to keep his legs from cramping. "Perhaps not, but maybe some could help with other things like aches and the fever," he would suggest as he rested his back against the sofa and tilted his head so he could still view the other.

"If you have a fever that keeps constantly getting worse, then you have a problem that's beyond that. Pretty sure it's normally fairly constant." It could go up and down a little, but it was rarely in the levels where one truly needed to panic about bad consequences...unless the sick person in question was still a young child. Then yes, keeping it under more control was best. And while a fever could make you feel weak, it didn't have to make you unable to rest, did it? He would snort faintly. "I prefer *cough* not to when it isn't clearly necessary for some reason, and I can handle it. The pain will go away on its own in time anyway..." Was drugging yourself with painkillers that great? They were a strain on your body's chemical processing systems instead. You gain one, you lose one.

"I can agree with your first statement; however, even minor I think it should be monitored rather than giving it a chance to get worse." He understood how fevers worked, but even so they were nothing to be take lightly. Adult or not they were uncomfortable things and well while they did bring things that put one down and out, if one got overheated naturally rest could be a struggle when the body was emitting more heat than normal.

As for the medicine thing, the demon didn't flinch when he heard the cough. Instead, he would just shift a bit to get more comfortable on the floor. He'd move his legs so he could rest his wrists against his knees as he gave a light heh of amusement. "I am in the same boat to a degree, but usually if I have the flu or cold, I do try to take a something that eases the aches and can help a bit with the fever." He didn't necessarily drug himself to the point of oblivion, but he did take a little medicine to help get through the sickness.

"Nh..I don't like being so pedantic about it and expecting it could get worse right off he bat. Besides, I'm used to heat anyway." With his powers, he could even raise his own temperature on purpose if he so wished. While it wasn't pleasant when coupled with sickness specifically, he was heat resistant enough to not be bothered too much by a fever that wasn't going out of whack completely. It wasn't going to ultimately harm him.

He would sigh faintly. "I just...don't think I need it. And to be honest, those things are the least of my concern at the moment. If I were to take meds, it'd be something else right now." Some muscle pain and extra heat bothered him way less than other issues.

"I don't think its pedantic or assuming the worse right off the bat. I see it more as caution and trying to stay comfortable....at least for me. I am not the fondest of too much heat." Even less so when he was sick. Speaking of heat... "Though do you prefer to be hot then?" he would ask a bit curious about what the guy was implying or not implying with his words.

Letting that go where it would, the demon would listen to the next comment as his eyes drifted away from the other and looked at the TV screen ahead of them. "What do you mean by that?" he would ask still remaining calm in his spot, listening despite looking away.

"I don't...have a preference for it. But due to the fact that I can manipulate fire, I am heat resistant to a degree. It doesn't bother or harm me as much, even though it doesn't make being sick better or anything." He'd admit it was a bit of an annoyance, but he didn't want to rush into cooling down a lot or swallowing anti-fever meds immediately, just because he had some sort of a fever. Temperatures in general weren't a huge deal for him, as long as they didn't reach critical levels during bad times, whether high or low.

He would grumble something incoherent under his breath before trying to answer the following question as he shifted his arms to rub his temples slightly. "Everything. And nothing. It seems physical based distress aggravates my mind more than normal, and I'm not particularly fond of being out of it at the most unnecessary of times. I do not enjoy taking calming meds, but sometimes it's really tempting." As much as it was only a temporary solution to the issue anyway.

"I prefer an in between state. Not too cold or too hot. Just right, you know?" he would say before giving a small snort as a smile crossed his face as he looked over at the other. "Well, I suppose your power can be helpful then. I honestly don't have that sort of ability. In your situation, I'd be under a fan or something. It can be uncomfortable even more so when sick." It could make him crabby to be on a good day and sick? Well that was a different sort of crabby. Could he adapt to high and low temperatures? Yes, but he didn't like either extremes.

Now then about that grumble.

The demon would tilt his head a bit at the sound wondering what the other had said as he watched the guy rub his temples, but didn't move to baby him. To he would listen to his words before humming a bit as he looked at the floor. "Well...as reluctant as I can be to take medicine, medicine that calms me is something I can't do without at the moment. It can be a bit annoying thinking about it, but I much rather have it then be wired up worse than what usually occurs," he began before pausing to shake his head. "Anyway, it could help you, but I dunno. Your case seems a bit more complicated than mine, so..." He couldn't really say. Sometimes medicine wasn't the answer to a problem.

"I'm surprisingly good at being physically numb anyway. It doesn't come off as too bad for me. It does make it harder to move about and do things, but I'm not...completely incapacitated or anything." He could imagine far worse things than dealing with some flu symptoms either way. As long as he didn't do stupid things like his earlier outburst moment, but that was an entirely different mess honestly.

He would frown slightly. "I...refuse to take these types of meds daily. They're very good at giving you a false sense of security and making you think you're doing better when deep down you actually aren't at all. I don't want to end up like one of those people who end up being addicted to it and then once the time comes to stop relying on it, crumble right down to the bottom again, because they never did much to address the problem besides chomping on meds. But...apparently nearly all they make is to be taken that way. I do have some, but I don't take it unless it just gets bad enough in the moment.", he would huff. "Besides, they only sort of kind of work for me if I take the maximum dose, and that just sounds bad for general health to be taken really often." Meds could support, but they were not an answer to the problem in any case. Unless you wanted to live on them your whole life and avoid the underlying issue that forces you to eat anti-anxiety pills all the time. He would drop his hands down to his sides with a sigh. "What do you take anyway?"

"I would say I am on the other end of the pole. While I can handle it, I do have to the tendency to be a crab when overheated. Sickness on top that makes it worse." He could be a complete pain in the ass when uncomfortable and being sick only made him want to curl up under something and not be bothered. Though he wasn't like the other with the outburst. Just a bit snappy and grumbly is all.

That aside, the demon would look up at the other for a moment considering his words before blinking and looking away. "....Maybe they do. Then again, maybe they are the only way to function for some," he would sigh lightly as he leaned back a bit and closed his eyes. "I won't say I am addict, but I know right now I depend on those meds to function. Without them I know life will be an even bigger struggle for me. I don't want to be dependent on them...thus I try to do something every time even if I just keep falling again and again. Even if I was to get better and not need the meds anymore, there is no telling if I'll relapse or not, but I suppose that is simply the risk I have to take if I want to get out of the hole and try...to get better." It was his only option right now. As for the rest, he would nod. "Well it doesn't work for everyone and I suppose you are stronger than some when it comes to handling your own baggage. As for the medicine, I take 10 mg of Celexa daily. I double it if it is a really bad day and 10 isn't enough. You?"

"I just exist..." In itself, it didn't change him much. Except for the fact that sickness created a strain which worsened other problems, and the outbursts and all were actually caused by that, not the fact that he had a fever and was sick.

He would just stare up at the ceiling for now, only responding when the other was done. "That's...one of the SSRI anti-depressants, isn't it? Well, I suppose those aren't as addictive as some. Though, they are exactly the type I don't like, for they only have an effect when taken long term as far as I know. You need to take them daily for them to be of any use." Which he was clearly not going to do. He wasn't that type of a person. "I can't say whether I'm stronger though. Our diagnoses differ a lot, so it's not easy to make a comparison." It was hard to say how different their reactions would be if they both had the same thing. "In any case, I have Klonopin, but I don't really take it too often. It's not the same type of drug as you have, and to be fair these aren't even recommended for long term use for what I have. I find it to be a good in the moment thing though." Just a good way to KO yourself for a limited amount of time.

"Heh. Well I am glad you exist," the demon would say softly....though where and why he suddenly said that was a mystery as he stayed in his spot with his eyes closed. He would remain quiet until asked a question. "Mmm. Yes it is," the demon would confirm as he reopened his eyes to watch the ceiling with the other. "Yeah. It is a daily use, but it is how I can function more less day to day at the moment. Without it I think there would be more days of break downs than it is now." And honestly he didn't want to think where sliding that sort of hill would go. "In any case, medicine is always a temporary fix no matter if it is one for daily use or allergies. In the end the body either adapts to the issue or in the case of the mind we do something on our own about. Sink, swim, or float in limbo. Those are the only choices in the matter." Though which path one took was another matter. As for that medicine, the demon would furrow his brows in thought.

"Isn't that a powerful sedative?" he would ask as he rolled his head to look at the other. "Just what exactly plagues you that you need something like that?"

He would simply blink at that explanation, finding he had very little to say to it. He would however, pose a single question for the time being. "Did you ever try anything else, or is that the only med you've been on?" He was somewhat curious just because people often tried a few before they settled on the one that helped them the most, although it technically didn't have to be the case for everyone.

When the other started questioning his choice of meds, he would sigh faintly, seemingly having enough of laying down for now as he brushed off the ice packs for the moment, sitting up on the sofa. "It does function similarly to a sedative, yes...though, I can't say much about its power. I'd wager Xanax feels more powerful than Klonopin, if anything. Theoretically.", he would shake his head with a faint huff. "Either way...it's just...my issues are different from yours at base. Another reason why I'm not partial to anti-depressants. I'm not depressed. Nor do I really have breakdowns of that type normally. It's...the opposite for me, to be honest." Not that either was the better alternative though. "From what I've noticed...you seem to get rather sluggish and would rather not get out of bed on top of negative feelings, yes? I don't get that at all. Imagine something like...being constantly on adrenaline and unable to physically relax. Just this anxious energy that makes you want to constantly do something and not stop. It's a different kind of anxiety. I can get into excessive overthinking, but it doesn't have to necessarily be negative in the same sense as being in a depressive mood would. It's just like being stuck on an overdose of hypervigilance all the time, really. Which is why I work a lot better on tranquilizer drugs. I don't need my 'mood' to be brought up and to be more lively. I'm already all over the place and have problems staying in my skin. I need something to hit me over the head and make me stop jittering about.", he would click his tongue slightly. "Like you noted before...I don't like staying in one place...because I just can't always be still for long. It can drive me insane at times, as much as I'm good at keeping it under control and seeming relatively calm. Nevertheless, I wouldn't like to say I need the drugs...I don't take them often. Benzodiazepines can be nasty if you allow yourself to be dependent on them, and I'd rather not do the dumb thing." Shit could be a pain to get off of if you got to the point of having withdrawal symptoms, and besides, being constantly drugged up on sedatives could get really bad. This wasn't something to take like candy, and definitely not irresponsibly.

He took not the other didn't say anything to his first comment instead focusing on the medicine bit. As he was questioned, the demon would nod a bit. "Yeah. I've been on a few others, like Lexapro and Fluoxetine in the past. I want to say there is a third, but the name escapes me. In any case, all of them made me feel drowsy and I didn't stay on them long enough to give them a chance to do something back then. During that year break though, I went back to the doctor and started to try to do something. I was put on this one and at first was kind of worried since it made me very antsy, but as it set in it was fine." While they weren't 100% solution to the issue. They certainly got him to a better place than he usually was in. After saying that the demon would become quiet again, but remained open to any other questions the other may have. At least he seemed to be open about the matter, even if it wasn't something that he was proud of.

That aside, the demon would shift slightly in his spot more to get out of the other's way as he moved to sit up. Once the guy had settled, the demon would settle again in his spot on the floor. He would be quiet as he listened to the other speak waiting until he stopped talking completely to respond.

"It is more like a passing out after running a marathon. Usually there is a lot of internal stress and anxiety that not even my medicine can stop. I struggle with it each day, but it remains becoming heavier and heavier until I become to mentally and physically exhausted to take it. So I end up in that mess you encountered. I don't necessarily like to curl up in bed. More like just sit somewhere I can see outside and the light, try to remind myself that I can't give up...even if my thoughts are dark." It was like holding onto a strand of hope...and to be frank it was the only thing that stopped him from doing something horrible to himself. Shaking his head he would continue. "I am not familiar with sedative effects since my case is indeed different. Though when the depression and anxiety is bad, I often wish someone could just knock me out. Anything to shut those thoughts up and to gain peace. It's probably not good in the long run though. Just another form of running and not addressing the issue." The demon would sigh a bit at that one seeming a bit sadden by it, but recovered soon enough and continued. "In any case, your state seems like my state when I am out of control or flipping out over things. Just minus all the worse possible things coming to mind. We are similar in a way..." the demon would trail off for a bit thinking before shaking himself mentally and continuing. "I can relate on the not being still part because when I am in a panic mode that is kind of how I am. Outside of that I am pretty good at sitting still for a good while. As for the medicine, perhaps one day we can both leave them behind. Besides," the demon would give a small smirk. "I can't allow you to become a druggy." He didn't think the guy dumb, so he didn't think he had anything to worry about, so why not have just a little fun with the matter?

He would frown slightly. "I sadly don't have any actual personal experience with anti-depressants. They tried to prescribe me Prozac at one point, but I refused to take it. They're mainly targeted at things I don't deal with a whole lot anyway." Of course, it depended on the specific med, and some were better than others in regards to a diagnosis in question, but he just didn't want to be put on daily meds unless he found himself in a situation where it was unavoidable. Still, anti-depressants carried their name for a reason, and typically worked best for disorders that were either coupled with depression, or for people who at least had depressive tendencies showing up in their reactions somehow. They were given out often as the first option for any mental issue, but if they failed to target what the person really needed, then they'd be good for shit, really.

Hmmm. He would shake his head lightly. "I was...mostly just referring to the idea of being too tired to move about much and all. Bed was just the first thing that came to mind in regards to that. I don't understand this well..I'm rarely in a state of feeling legitimately tired enough to just want to pass out. I don't register being tired most of the time. My mind won't let me stop." It wasn't impossible for him, but even when he did register exhaustion, it was typically coupled with being unable to wind down despite needing to anyway. He would scratch the back of his neck. "It could probably help you to take them in a way, as they can work as a relaxant and even cause emotional numbing. That's why a lot of people with your anxiety style use them as well. It does turn your brain off sort of. But yes, heavy reliance on drugs left and right is not the best option ever." That was no surprise, honestly. "Though...unlike you, I wouldn't consider my state to be a form of flipping out. Otherwise I would have to say I'm in the middle of flipping pretty much 24/7. I'm just nearly constantly on edge....I don't have to be entirely out of control to be stuck without being able to relax. It's a strange form of hyper-awareness." He was capable of having near panic attacks, and that was one of the ways of it going into more critical levels, but being wound up was his daily state for the most part. He lived that way in a sense, and was mostly used to dealing with it as long as it remained at a tolerable level. Which it of course didn't always do.

He would snort though, this time moving to stand up. "Trust me, I don't want to be one either. I know my limits...."

"I fought them for a while myself, but in the end had to submit to the fact that I needed them for a bit. I take a low dosage and refuse to go any higher. I don't want to be so out of it that I am a zombie or what not." That is why he hadn't liked the meds he had tried in the beginning. All of them made him feel floaty and out of it. He hated that.

That aside, the demon would push that aside as he listened to the other. "I suppose it is hard to explain it unless you were to be in my shoes during that time. The first few days are similar to being wound up tightly. My mind won't be still, I am jumpy and can't hold still for long. It just keep running getting broken sleep and all that until finally I just break and all of it comes crashing down on me mentally and physically. All I can really do is just be still. No amount of medicine is going to pick me up from that." Well maybe there was medicine for that, but he seriously didn't want to try something powerful like that. Not when it could make him float or perhaps become more jittery than normal. He didn't want that. As for what the other suggested.

"Well," the demon began as he shifted to sit on his knees. "While they sound nice though I am not sure if they can help me. Perhaps give me temporary relief, but when the medicine wears off, I wonder if the mess i used them to leave behind won't come back and just slap me harder." He wasn't sure if there was backlash from it. It was already bad enough these sorts of meds were cautioned against. Still... "Then again maybe it is what I need from time to time versus tearing myself to pieces each time I break." He would give the other a small smile at that one. Would it work and keeping him calm or would it have a different effect on him. Hmm. Anyway....

"Why can't you relax?" he would ask after some consideration of the other's words become silent as he gave the guy room to answer if he wished. Wherever that went though, the demon would let it go before his attention was on the other as he snorted and stood up to move.

Becoming alert, the demon would shift in his spot so that it would be easy for him to get up, but for the moment he stayed sitting as he looked up at the other. "Well, I am glad you know them. I would be sad otherwise," he would begin and then titling his head, he would ask. "Where you going?"

"I think I function pretty well without that. I would probably need a higher dose anyway." It actually wasn't easy to make him zombie from meds. He likely had a naturally high tolerance to things that tried to affect the nervous system, which made medications a bit tricky for him. For it became a question of whether the pros outweighed the cons when he had to take a really high dosage to reap benefits from it.

He would frown slightly. "I'm just...not familiar with that kind of breaking down. I can get tension pains when things go overboard too much, but I never crash literally. If I do get driven to a point where I can't keep going, I'd be more likely to simply pass out in some way or form. I'd just go entirely blank." Besides, he kind of tended to be hyper aware. It was hard to suddenly keel over when you've already learned how to more or less function on as high stress level as possible. "Ehhhh...yes and no. It really depends on how your metabolism reacts to the drug. It can cause rebound anxiety, but it doesn't happen for everyone. Though I can't say what I'd recommend to you. You make it seem like your tolerance for this type of stuff is low, considering you can't even take a higher dose of an anti-depressant without ending up out of it. These have way more pronounced effects than that to begin with." Anti-depressants were designed to keep you at a constant level of background 'calmness' of sorts. These, especially when taken sporadically, were like getting a shot of something. Quicker, as well as sharper effects which would peak and then die down in time. Could be likened to a rollercoaster even. 20mgs of the former could potentially seem weaker than 0.5mg of the latter, really...though it still depended on the individual, of course.

When the other questioned him, he would remain silent for a moment, unsure about how to answer this. "I..well, ask my mental issues why? It's..kind of like forcefully being on constant alert for threats, really.", he would pause for a bit, mumbling something under his breath before speaking up again. "It's a thing." That said..."Uh...pluto? Actually, I think I forgot what I was going to do. Hnnnnmm...." Oops.

"Well let's hope you never need them then," the demon would say seeming to try to stay positive despite the subject matter. Though that small smile would fade a bit as it continued. "I don't...." the demon would hesitate for a moment as he debated something and then shaking his head he would continue. "I don't think what I have or you is something one can familiarize themselves with to be honest. It's just...a mess really that is difficult to explain and even more difficult to figure the way out of. My body is constantly stressed internally. Most days, I can deal with it and just brush things away, but when it is bad. It's draining and it hurts physically due to tension in the body. I don't pass out, but I do shut down at time and become uncomfortably calm and empty. Its like being full of something that is killing and shredding you inwardly and then at the end just being emptied out. It's...nightmarish really. And the sad thing is...no amount of therapy or talking helps me with this issue. It's like...being a prisoner all over again, but instead of another playing gate keeper its my mind...." There was really no other way to describe it outside of that. To someone else they may be baffling and seem simple to fix, but for him this was life and it was at times hard as hell to move forward. Thus the need for meds for a little help. Speaking of meds...

"That is the down side to most meds and me. They have to be low dosages or I am gonna be out of it. And who knows...maybe a sedative is too much for me. It might knock me out for a good while and I have no idea what it will do with my current med so I am kind of like hmm when it comes to taking one." He wasn't exactly the yolo type and just took things without first making sure it wasn't going to kill him. He...didn't like being a guinea pig for things. Least of all meds, so there was that air of caution there despite sedatives seeming like a good idea at times.

As for the answer, he got back the demon would shake his head on that one before looking up at the other with a small smile. "I am afraid I can't do that. You're the only one that can answer my questions or not if you prefer. In any case, do you feel constantly threatened? Is that why you are constant look out for them?" he would ask before becoming silent as he took note of the grumbling and the comment that followed. Hmm...well it was certainly going to be interesting to see what happened here wasn't it.

Anywho.

What?

Rika at first snorted a bit at the Pluto comment, but when the other mentioned he had forgotten what he was going to do, the demon would look up at him and blink a few times. "Well...I suppose that trip to Pluto was more important if you've forgotten that fast." Was it baffling? No, but certainly a bit out of the blue and it seemed he just rolled with what was there. Where would this go, who could tell.

"That's....", he would trail off into a pause for a brief moment, contemplating something. "Well, I can partially understand that. What you're describing as a shut down here actually sounds very much like a common PTSD symptom. Except for the fact that your version appears to be heavily fused with some sort of depression..." He understood that kind of thing, just from a different angle, so to speak, as he had very few depressive issues. Oddly enough, being a constant prisoner and such forms of abuse did often result in PTSD to begin with, though it appeared the guy took a somewhat different path there in many regards...minds are such a strange thing, really. "Though...didn't you recently admit to the fact that you don't actually talk about it honestly to anyone? Talking and therapy is supposed to help in time, but probably not when you shirk it...."

In any case, he would shake his head slightly. "Anti-depressant and benzodiazepine combos are common. Unless you do the stupid thing and overdose, you shouldn't be at any real risk. When it comes to knock outs...I'm not sure I would...uh, put it that way. At low doses, they aren't really extreme sedatives. A good reference is the fact that they act on pretty much the same basis as alcohol. So theoretically speaking, you're more likely to end up in a state akin to being drunk if anything. But it could obviously put you down when overdone, yes.", he would state, though snorting slightly after a moment. "To be completely honest however, taking these without a prescription as well as just giving them to someone is low-key illegal as far as I know....theoretically speaking." It shouldn't be done. Although, who was realistically going to find out about it, unless the people doing it are idiots and land someone in the ER?

He would scratch the back of his head at the questioning. "...yes and no? From a logical sense, I know I'm most likely not. However, this isn't really a conscious reaction for the most part. It's like conditioning. If you spend enough time in an environment where you constantly have to anticipate such, it can get to a point where you can't make it stop even when it isn't necessary anymore." Which sucks quite a bit, really. Outside of that however, it would seem that planets were equally as important for some reason. He would furrow his brows, a somewhat concentrated expression on his face as he stretched his arms out in front of himself. "I was...I don't know. Something though...."

"I've never tested myself for PTSD. Just anxiety and depression, but you are right. There are some similarities with what we have. It just seems we have different shades of it and different issues. I can't say how much of my past plays into this, but I know some of the negativity I have towards myself comes from it and the hugest chunk is just worrying and beating myself up over...I guess nothing." The demon would frown a bit at that one as he looked down shaking his head. This was honestly a baffling thing for him no matter how many times he viewed it. Speaking of baffling and strange things, the question posed would bring up another odd point.

To this one the demon would rub his arm a bit as he gave an uncomfortable nod. "Hai...I did," he began as he looked down wincing a bit as he continued. "To be frank outside of feeling like I'd be judge or put a burden on someone else, there is one other reason I don't talk so well to my current therapist. I..." the demon would sigh as he looked off to the side trying to figure out how to explain this. "I feel like a test subject being observed and monitored by a scientist when I am in there with her or any of the past ones. They ask me question, I answer and they just stare and write notes. I know it is part of their job to do it, but it still uncomfortable. There's no connection between me and them because in the end, they have text book knowledge of what I have and honestly that isn't enough." He would look up at Sharaku as his eyes narrowed a bit. "You can have all the knowledge about subject, but if you don't truly understand it then how can you connect with it? How do you...connect with someone like me, if all you are doing is suggested or told to you?" It is was like they didn't even try to get to know him or understand him. They just watched him and gave him these robotic or pre-made answers that didn't work for him. "I cannot open up if there is no connection and you don't understand. I might as well talk to a brick wall at that point."

That aside, the demon would soon be pushing that depressing matter aside as a different sort of matter came to the front. As he heard the other speak about the way the medicines worked, he found himself tapping his chin in thought. "Like being drunk huh? Well that doesn't seem so bad. Though I wonder if there is a nasty cost to that. Like something like a hang over." Though that didn't seem too bad from the way the other was describing it. "That is true, but uh....I won't tell if you don't," the demon would say sticking his tongue out at the other in a mostly playful manner. Though he had to wonder just what the guy was implying with that. Was he going to give him the meds? Or was he suggesting he was going to take the meds himself? Or maybe he said it to be saying it? Wait scratch the last one. This guy didn't do that. Well no use in picking over what ifs or whys since he wouldn't know unless the other decided to flat out tell him what he meant or something like that.

"Conditioning?" the demon would reach up to play with an earring as he considered that. "Ummm...Can you tell me what sort of environment you were in that caused you to become like this?" It was quite curious really and made the demon wonder just what the other had been through in the past. Question was would he answer or just dodge the question? Only time would tell.

Meanwhile in Outer Space and Forgetful Land....

"Something huh?" the demon would repeat with a soft chuckle before getting to his feet and moving to stretch his body out. "Perhaps to get something to eat? You hungry or want to try to get some broth down?"

He would huff. "Well, it would be a stretch for me to try to compare that anyway, seeing as I have CPTSD which is a little different. Though, the parts that relate to your past might be similar to that type of stuff." Unlike the other, while his symptoms could seem rather all over the place, they all stemmed from the same thing, considering what it was. He did deal with his own versions of anxiety, and could potentially seem as if he was depressed without truly being so at times, so it was hard for him to really attempt to gauge how much of what the other did came from what. That was often pretty specific to the individual.

In any case, in response to the therapist issue topic, he would stare off to the side briefly with a sigh. "I've...heard a saying before that the best psychologists and therapists are the people who've overcome a mental illness themselves....I'd wager to say it might be true." After all, someone who had actual first hand experience would just know better, even if they didn't know every issue personally as that was kind of impossible. "I have no answer for you though...I've been told multiple times that the only effective treatment for my issue is actually close interpersonal therapy, but it's clearly obvious that nearly no one is willing or able to deal with you on that level. They all want to be done as fast as possible, so they just recite the same learned formulas over and over again so the can send you off with having done 'something'. They only really know what schools taught them anyway..." Even if he did go out of his way and talk more to a therapist, it didn't particularly matter when they all just proved they had no idea what the heck to really do with it. Like, actually legitimately do, rather than just spew all these general statements and advices mostly everyone knows and throws around by now. He couldn't really speak much in favor of them himself, honestly, as much as it was true that therapy in the right form indeed could be helpful...

Regardless, he would huff at the mention of hangovers. "Again, highly depends. I would say there usually isn't any extremely noticeable negative outcome that is imminent, but some people might have adverse reactions to it for whatever reason. The nasty cost of these is if you keep taking them long-term periodically because they make you feel good, end up addicted without even realizing and then try to get off. I've heard that withdrawal symptoms are worse than from hard drugs like heroin, and could potentially even kill you if not dealt with correctly. Some people end up hooked for life to function." Which was honestly pretty bad, in and of itself. A naive person could end up trading a lot of their health and life in return for what was originally just a few months of daily anxiety relief. Well, depending on how fast one got addicted, but that varied from person to person. Anyway...."Is that so?", he would raise an eyebrow at the other. What was he implying? Well, in part he was just informing the other, though it was true he had no issue with letting the other try if he really wanted to. As for himself, he did have these as a prescription, so there was no problem from that side. It was still kind of illegal to distribute them to others though.

".....", he would make a mild :T face when the other started questioning him on his past. This one wouldn't be that easy, and especially since he was already in an odd state of mind due to a couple things. He didn't deal too well with this, seeing as the past was the major cause of his problem. He would be risking a lot if he tried talking about it in this moment, though he was aware that he kind of owed it to the other to be more fair since the guy has told him things about himself before. He would shake his head with a somewhat sour face after a moment of contemplation. "Nnnot.. right now. If you wait a bit though and don't forget about it...maybe..." He just had to..ugh..

"Yes...som- wait, are you just suggesting I go swallow down hot stuff when you were trying to cool me down before?" Unless the other wanted to feed him cold broth there, but he wasn't...uh sure how he felt about that one. "I don't..really feel hungry...though maybe I should eat something...I just want my brain to stop spinning right now...", he would pause for a bit, digging his hands through his hair slightly. "Hnn, how about this. Since you seemed to be curious, I can show you what those meds do. It can technically help with the pain and make it easier to rest anyway, so plus for me. And I might actually answer your previous question..." If everything went as planned.

“Hmm. Perhaps so.” the demon would say scratching his head. Did he have PTSD? Or perhaps CPTSD? Maybe. He certainly could fit the criteria to have such a thing. Prolonged exposure to something horrible. This is what separated complex from regular PTSD...and yet when he thought about it, his past did have some impact on how he behaved and reacted to things and even came up when he was in despair, but there was something else there that made his case similar yet so different to the others. Alot of what was happening was self inflicted though when he reflected back or when or how this started he could see nothing. It was confusing because he was fine one day and then suddenly this which got worse and worse over time until finally it ended up here. It was often confusing to put a label on just what he had due to so many things fitting. Perhaps it was just best to say he was fucked up for now and leave it at that.

Well pushing that jumbled mess of thoughts aside, the demon would hear the other’s comment on therapist and would tap his chin in thought at that one. “I think that experience is helpful because you know mostly what is going on and can relate. It certainly helps when you come from a place of genuine knowledge versus mechanical ones. It makes me wonder if there is anyone like that out there.” Probably 1 out of millions. What were the chances that he could find someone like that to help him? Or anyone else for that matter. He would look over at the other with a thoughtful expression. “Well I am not sure how to do interpersonal therapy, but maybe somehow being in this mess together we can help each other out.” Something was better than nothing right?

In any case, back in medicine land…

“That sounds like a terrible fate.” Did he want to chill? Yes. More than anything he wanted peace and he wouldn’t mind taking something that just chilled him out when it was bad, but to become dependent on such a thing? No. He didn’t want that not all. He much rather walk through his Hell than lose himself to a drug. As for that question….

Rika would give the other a lopsided smirk at that one. “It is so.” He would say the words calmly as he watched the other. Despite the risk he was willing to try one just to see what would happen. Was it dangerous maybe, but they were adults and not dumb so as long as they were careful it should be fine right?

That aside though, the demon would see the reaction the other had to his questioning and braced himself for the usual “I don’t wanna talk about it” response as he heard silence. He would sigh inwardly at this one wondering when or if the guy would ever open to him, but he couldn’t force the guy, so whatever answer he got he decided he would not pressure the guy or fight against it. He’d just let the topic go and that was that. Mhm. That was the plan; however, the plan was kind of derailed when the other finally opened his mouth and spoke. To what he heard the demon would blink as he process the words, he was a bit stunned at this considering it was like pulling teeth in this department, but at the same time it was kind of nice too. As the shock wore off the demon would give the other a small nod. “I’ll keep it in mind. Just take your time.” He could wait as long as necessary for the other to share. After all, he made it this far without knowing, he suppose he could continue onward like that for a bit longer then.

Wherever that went, things would soon turn to food. He was actually a bit excited that the other was about to answer a question normally for once, but then that excitement was crushed as the guy crushed it with the logic question. To this one Rika chuckled lightly as he shook his head.

“Well it won’t be hot-hot. Just warm enough for it to be enjoyed. As much as I want to keep you cool, I highly doubt all foods can be enjoyed cold.” Sure there were a few foods that came to mind, but broth was not one of them at all. “Well we do need to keep up your strength. How about some soup and crackers? At least that is gentle on the stomach,” he would begin as he shifted his weight a bit to the left. As for that offer, the demon would consider it for a moment before nodding a bit. “Alright. You go take your medicine and I’ll take care of the food. How does that sound?”

"Probably? I can see people going down that path because they want to help others after knowing how bad it can be personally." It was a plausible reasoning. However, there were so many textbook only therapists everywhere, that finding what you were looking for was indeed like finding a needle in a haystack. It just wasn't easy. He would huff slightly. "It's harder than it sounds, trust me." No therapy was inherently an easy and smooth sail, especially for the one involved.

"It can be..." But that went for any stronger drugs in the end. Same with alcohol, and yet many people drank it left and right without too much worry about the potential risks. In any case, he wouldn't say much past that. If the other really did want to try, he could ask about that later. It didn't seem like it would be happening right now, at the very least.

Anywhoozles...yeah, he wasn't very inclined to speak about such matters. It wasn't very simple after all. He had already snapped at the other earlier, which proved he wasn't in the calmest state of mind at the moment. It could be pretty bad if he gave himself a panic attack or something on top of it all. That was the last thing he needed. "Hmn." He certainly wasn't going to protest the other letting him be, that was for sure.

He would snort at the mention of cold food and level of enjoyment. "Ever had cold fruit soup? Odd things can be good too." Well, within a certain limit of course. He didn't find colder soup stuff disgusting entirely, but it was true that some of them probably weren't made to be eaten that way. He would half-shrug. "...whatever goes? I don't feel sick to my stomach, so I can probably handle food." He didn't feel hungry, but it wasn't like he was about to vomit out anything he tried to eat. Dropping his hands back down, he would sigh. "Right. Well, we're both headed the same way anyhow.", he would comment as he shifted to grab the glass of water the other brought him before, before heading off towards the kitchen.