When Midnight Jokes Become Real

''I don't think the current state of the equation matters much for that....'' Even if it was working perfectly, it could be destroyed by a new variable, or maybe even improved further with some extra effects. And when it wasn't, it could simply go both ways, based on what was added. There wasn't really any specific pattern to look for with unknowns on the line.

''Please, don't make me change my mind already.'', he would huff under his breath. It would be better to not think on that, honestly. While he had nothing against trying to work things out, he was not so much in the boat of believing in this specifically. To him, more people being involved usually meant worse rather than better. He would sigh, leaning against the back of his chair. ''Why are you so determined to go through things like that though? It technically sounds easier to just try someone else when it's as hard as this. It's not like I'm the only person there is to date.''

"Maybe." And that was honestly the truth. They could go round and round in circles about the matter and still only get the closest to the truth with a maybe. Equations such as the one they were dealing with just didn't have absolutes since unlike math, life changed quicker than a dime could fall.

That aside, the demon would give the other a lopsided smile as let out a light "heh", a bit amused at the situation, but also curious; however, what he was curious about wouldn't be voiced for now as he leaned forward and rested his chin against his hands. To the question heard though, the smile would fade as he shifted his positioning so one hand supported his head as the other ran through his hair.

"Because I wasn't lying when I said I strongly liked ya and in turn will actually fight to make this work if it is possible. On top that, I am also a stubborn idiot," he would say as he closed his eyes a bit and shook his head with a faint smile. "I just don't know how to leave it all be. If see even the tiniest bit of hope of something working, I like to try it at least, exhaust all my option before truly giving up. At least by doing that I know I've done everything I could and tried to put my best foot forward, you know?" he would pause and reopen his eyes as he looked over at the other. "Though I have to wonder about you. You always see the other options so why even put yourself through hell if you have those same choices open to you? I am sure someone else would be an easier pick, so what's the deal?"

''You like me despite how much of a pain this is being? Should I think you have strange standards?'' He would shake his head slightly. It was one thing to be head over heels into someone blindly and simply overlooking every bad trait and all that there was because of it. And it was another to be obviously aware of it...in which case, what is really the thing that keeps you interested? He wasn't going to deny that relationships needed some work to maintain, but people typically got together because they clicked pretty well in the beginning at least, not because it was a fight to even make a step forward.

Speaking of which....a somewhat bitter look would cross his face for a moment. ''Do you really want an honest answer to that?'' Well yes, he knew quite well why he did what he did. However, he wasn't sure how pleased the demon would be to hear that kind of stuff. His reasons were far from being something as cheesy as the whole thing the guy had going there.

"You have your appeal for me underneath all the mess. As for strange standards. Maybe or perhaps i am just mad in general and being too stubborn for my own good." Despite how he could seem the demon sure did know how to take a beating and at least tried to endure the storm before noping a matter. Dumb? Maybe, but in his eyes some things were just worth the fight. Though the reason for sticking this one out went way beyond the cheesy sounding surface.

As for that look and response...the demon would raise his eyebrows at the other. "You might as well since we are at this point." Did the demon expect this too be nice or easy to swallow? Not really, but he wasn't running from pain or negatives so...

''I wonder how should I be taking that....'' The guy was kind of vague with his answer there, so he didn't have much to go on with. Just a few maybes, pretty much, which didn't tell him anything conclusive. At best, he could be concerned about the other calling himself mad.

That aside, he would look off towards a random point in the room. ''You ask why I don't just go for someone else..? Because I technically don't really care to. Perhaps I'm just odd, but I don't actually see what's the big deal behind dating. I mean, I like being on my own, I'm not all that excited about having kids, sharing money or a household with someone isn't always the smartest idea, and people disappoint easily anyway. I don't quite get why do people chase after this. I was honestly not even looking to be with someone. If you haven't asked me upfront back then, I would likely not have given it a single thought in the first place.'', he would shrug slightly. ''In part, I'm sort of curious about why this is supposed to be so great. And I guess it's not like I hate people enough to sit in my room all the time or something. I don't know though. I just don't have the greatest experiences when it comes to getting along with people beyond surface level, and I've never felt any explicit interest in dating left and right.'' It just...didn't seem worth it most of the time. Nor like something to be super excited about.

“I can’t tell you what to do there. You’ll have to figure out your own conclusion in the end.” His answer was indeed vague because in the end it was a lot more complex than what the demon was actually expressing aloud. Either way, the demon didn’t seem to want to go further into the matter unless prompted so moving onto something else.

As for that something else….

“You know I really don’t know how to exactly react that,” the demon would begin as he sat back in his chair “On one hand it kind of hurts because honestly the reason I try so hard to do things and try to make them work so I can try make things better for us, so we can move to places i am not sure you want to go. You say you like being on your own and don’t want to share so to speak with another. Yet one of the biggest things in a relationship is being willing to let someone in and share no? So hearing that really begs the question of why you are doing this in the first place? I mean I understand curiosity and that is fine and all, but...I don’t get what you want. And I don’t see how anyone can go beyond surface level with you if you won’t let anyone in past that. If this is just something that caught your fancy then I wonder….what happens when you get bored with it or find it not to your liking. Do you leave and just don’t look back or care what happens in the end?”

The demon would give the other a frown at that one, clearly not liking the answer...and yet he wasn’t flaming the guy or lecturing him even. He wasn’t mad per se, just thoroughly confused because if the other was suggesting this was just some sort of experiment or what not and he wasn’t planning to go further, then why was the demon even working his butt off to try and make this work? Yes, they might be alright as friends or something, but this? This was something the demon did not understand or take lightly, but even so he was at least attempting to understand the other rather than flipping a lid to terribly.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he would close his eyes with a sigh. And this is technically why he had asked whether the other really wanted to hear it. Because to be honest, he wasn't having the easiest time even explaining what he meant there, and this could get dangerous if the guy ended up just taking it his own way and getting upset/mad there. Well, he wasn't going to deny that his way of going about things was not what one would expect, or maybe even imagine in their heads when thinking about dating...but it wasn't necessarily as bad as it could seem on surface either.

''Why...? Well, don't all people, one way or another, try dating someone or eventually several others because they want to see if it can or will work? It's not all that different in the end, just taken from a perhaps not so typical perspective. You can't know until you do it. As for me...I'm not saying that I'm refusing to share and all that at any cost. I just mean that I don't necessarily feel inclined to do so normally, since I'd guess that most people jump on the train way quicker than I see myself doing. And when it comes to surface level, I was just referring to anything beyond acquaintance in general. I wouldn't need to live or stuff with a friend for example, so these things don't have to apply that literally.'' After all, you didn't need to go as far and deep in with a friend, depending on how close you two are, but it's not like he had much luck even there. Well, assuming he tried, because perhaps the main problem was that he usually just didn't. He really wasn't much of a people person.

''What happens...I'm not sure what are you after there. I mean, if it doesn't work, it doesn't. It's better to not feign fake interest until they catch on and get on your ass, and when you break up with someone, you kind of have to step away and try to not let it bring you down. Anyway...I'm just not really like you. To be honest, if I only dated because of happening to randomly feel infatuated with a person, or for any reason similar to that...then I would basically never get to do it, unless a miracle happened. I've never been able to catch the fire that quickly. So, what am I supposed to do? It's either I don't even bother trying and show dating the middle finger completely, or make some attempt...which I guess comes off as this.'' He didn't really see a better solution there. Sure, he could try waiting around in hopes that he would one day fall for someone on first sight or something fancy like that, but...he wasn't that much of an optimist. He's been seeing people his age going around happily dating for a chunk of years already, and he never managed to catch onto the train. And the idea of sitting and eventually realizing he was already 30+ with zero experience or anything...would frankly only make it a whole lot harder to make a move in that realm. It was either do or don't...and well, not like he was messing things up on purpose anyway. Lots of relationships don't work out even when the people claim to be all over each other at first so...were his chances really that screwed up simply because he was starting from a different platform there?

The demon would remain quiet as listened to all the other had to say, his frown melting into a neutral face as his ears remained tilted towards the other. He would let the other speak letting him finish before actually moving.

when the demon did move it was to grab the bottle to refill his glass to half again before he settled it on the bottle back down. Then with a sigh he would shift and get out of his chair and drift over to the sofa where he carefully curled folded himself into one of the corners. He was still sitting up just his legs were propped up and folded is all and it seemed he had settled on the end that was closest to the table.

He would stay quiet with a light frown on his face as he thought for a moment and then with a sigh, he'd shake his head.

"Perhaps, i am a bit too hard on you then. Like, I try to understand where you are coming from, but I suppose placing myself in your shoes is a lot more challenging than one would think. Unlike you my own ways are vastly different and may at times line up with the norm. i hear with you saying and I honestly try to adapt my ways to accommodate you, but in the end it is very hard swallow or figure out. So no matter which way make an attempt, they kind of get jumbled because we can seem to find an even ground when it comes to this. So we end up headbutting more often than not...and even if I don't get anything else, I am pretty sure I did not sign up for this with the intention of fighting or wrestling all the time...."

Were there chance really screwed up because of these platform issues? Well....

The demon would pause and take a sip of the drink before resting the glass against his leg. "Either way, I don't think a therapist is going to help in this case. I am not sure how, but we're just gonna have to find a way to meet half-way here or something. Otherwise, I am not exactly sure what is going to happen here."

Well now it seemed that despite not liking or understanding what he was hearing, the demon was willing to work with the other still to figure it out. Guess his drive to stay went beyond just being stubborn after all.

Well, he was half-confused as to what the guy was doing there. Didn’t he just sit down on the chair more or less a while ago and was on the floor not too long before that? What was wrong with it all of a sudden? Whatever though, since that wasn’t the most important part of what was happening anyway. For a while, he would just glare at the table, seemingly trying to think. He gave up though when he attempted to finish his glass of drink and just ended up making a mild bleh face. ‘’I can’t this anymore.’’, he would mutter standing up with the glass in his hand. ‘’I need water…’’ In lieu of which, he would walk off to the kitchen to get some tap water there. As great as alcohol could be, he kind of wasn’t feeling it at this point. Maybe it was because he didn’t really eat that much before, and now had pretty much just a lot of drink splashing around his stomach, and it was starting to feel less than great right now. Besides, he needed a clear enough head for this conversation anyway, and having imaginary masses of cotton stuffed in the space between his brain and skull was not ideal, so more drinking might only be a bad idea.

That said, he would come back about a minute later to place down an extra glass of water on the table for later before walking over to stand in front of the other, placing one hand on his hip. ‘’I kind of think that is wrong though. For one, trying to accommodate before you even understand the matter for real is probably not going to work out well. Two, I’ve been thinking about it, and I would say that trying to meet half-way is not necessarily where it’s at entirely. There’s no point if you’re doing it pretty much to smooth over the differences you don’t really like or understand. That seems rather shallow to me. You seem to like the idea of understanding and acceptance of sorts….and while that is a thing, is that really enough? If you don’t like how someone thinks, just grudgingly accepting it doesn’t fix it. We’ll keep starting fights anyway, because someone’s going to always feel like this or that is not okay when the other person opens their mouth or does something.’’, he would shake his head.

‘’It took me a while to notice this, but to me….it honestly doesn’t matter that you claim to understand if you deep down have a distaste for it anyway. It’s pointless if you can’t actually go beyond that and value what the person brings to the table despite it not being what you would think yourself. I don’t care to have you adapt to me if it’s all for the sake of making things work better on the surface, because that’s technically what it would accomplish. What I’d want is to actually feel that you like me for what I do and say, or what my mind can offer…not for some mysterious things I basically can’t notice are there because most of the time you’re sniffling and chewing your lip, being upset over the former in some way or just flat out not liking it for whatever reason. How can I even believe your claims of liking me when this is what I see and the vibe I get almost all the time? I just come to the conclusion that I’m better off sitting by myself and not stressing around, because talking with you and speaking my mind honestly makes me feel like all I’m doing is making someone else’s day miserable simply by existing and being myself. Say, why should I want to be with someone who questions and struggles with my way of thinking instead of really valuing it? I’d like to know as much.’’ It was kind of sad, to be honest. Maybe that’s what was wrong though. Despite how the demon claimed to like him…he didn’t feel it. It was just like ‘I like you man…but wait, I can’t even begin get this thing you do, I don’t actually like what you think on this and that…and oh, maybe we should just try to compromise hard for each other so that we sort of feel at peace’. Wouldn’t that just be an empty solution to things though? He wanted to know someone honestly appreciated his views on things and wanted to listen to what he had to say…not it being pretty much a death sentence when he opened his mouth on a matter he didn’t have the same opinion of as the other. Most of the time though, he was more interested in shutting up because it seemed like the less disappointing choice…and that was kind of bad, wasn’t it?

The demon would watch the other as he got up to get water for only a few seconds before leaning over to place his own glass on the table next to the sofa. From there he would settle into the sofa a bit more his eyes drifting towards the window as he let the other do what he liked water wise. He would stay quiet and watch the clouds outside with a sleepy expression until his ears caught the sound of movement and in turn his gaze would shift towards the sound only to rest upon the other who had decided to stand in front of him. Leaning back a bit to look up at the other properly, he would focus his eyes on the other as he listened….and as he listened the more his ears would fold downward and his expression become hard to read to read. When the other was done talking, the demon would stare at him quietly for a second before speaking.

“I am not doing anything to make surface appearances or just smooth things over temporarily. There’s no point in that. It just leaves us stuck in the end. When I try to compromise and accommodate, I am honestly trying to figure out the best path for myself and the other. No I don’t know the situation well and maybe at times I do need to evaluate better. I admit it, I mess up pretty bad when it comes to certain things and gauging certain situation. I have loads learn. I really do and I don’t think that load is going down anytime soon; however, even not knowing the variables I still want to at least try to work out things with what I can see. That is why I was suggesting meeting half-way. It is not the end or only solution, it was just a suggested step to at least try to move forward through this. As for me and valuing you,” the demon would narrow his eyes even more. “I do value what you say. I am not trying to brush you off or make you feel bad, but on the flip side I can’t be emotionally blank either. That is not me. You ask me to speak up and I am trying, but every time I open my mouth and say what I am thinking you translate it into whining or attacking you. Not valuing you when that isn’t the case at all. I don’t want to fan flames and make things worse, so I shut up and have my own internal war with myself. It hurts so naturally I am going to squirm or cry. I could bottle it up, but I think it would be hell if what was there came out at random. You ask me why you should want to be with someone like myself. Someone who struggles and questions your ways. I can’t answer for that, but while your asking that question consider this for a moment: I do struggle and question because you and I are night and day when it comes to thinking or doing anything. Your ways are foreign to me, but that doesn’t mean i am auto rejecting it. Have ever thought that perhaps the reason I struggle and question so much is because I am actually trying to learn and understand how you work? So tell me how the hell that is not valuing you or your opinion. If I didn’t give a damn I wouldn’t have ever let myself get this deep into this hole I am currently in.”

The demon ears by this point were completely flat against his head and while his voice was calm, there was no denying that true anger was beginning to show there. What the hell did he need to do to prove to this guy he wasn’t lying? What did he want? He just didn’t get it. Why it always came to this no matter what way he tried to look at the problem from. It was down right frustrating and a bit discouraging to be honest.

That aside though, it seemed he had another question to deal with.

“Yes. I did suggest a therapist and honestly I am still willing to give anything a shot at this point. Still I wonder how well it would work if we can’t seem to even find a common footing here and end up in headbutting matches. Can a third party actually save this?”

Sigh. This was not how he wanted this to go. Then again, could he even expect anything else to come out of these all of a sudden when that basically never happened? He would give a faint exasperated sight as he pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘’I’m going to need painkillers by the end of today.’’ Seriously though, this was wearing him down, and the swimmy feeling from the alcohol was only adding onto it. At this rate, he was really going to end up with a headache once this was done. Or maybe even earlier than that, depending on how long this was going to last for.

‘’Look. No. This is honestly why I don’t enjoy talking about this stuff. Also, as an off note, since you accuse me of seeing whatever you say as whining or attacking…I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but your speeches about how you’re trying to do this and that, and how what I claim is wrong comes off very much like you assuming I am attacking you with my words and getting rather defensive over it. So you might want to consider taking your own advice while you’re at it.’’ Because honestly, nearly the entirety of this sounded like the guy trying to prove hard he wasn’t doing things wrong and all that. And frankly, while he did mention some stuff the other tended to do, he was not looking for a speech about how he shouldn’t be assuming this and that. It was almost amusing how sad this was but…seriously, how were they supposed to talk about any issues and problems when the gist of all said conversations devolved into basically ‘Ur just seeing everything as an attack against you’ *meanwhile is doing the exact same thing*.

He would move his hand to just rest across his stomach for the time being, so he could see the other better. ‘’ANYWAY, this isn’t even what I was trying to talk about in the first place. You know, stating my opinion on how things come off from an outsider perspective isn’t exactly the same thing as completely translating it all as whining and whatnot. I’m not asking you to be emotionally blank either. I’m not sure if you’re just missing the memo, but I’m more or less simply trying to tell you how I feel about this. Just because I don’t cry at the drop of a hat or show my feelings on my sleeve in general, it doesn’t mean that what I say should just be taken as me trying to flame you or something. You talk about how you’re naturally emotional and I should accept that, but get angry when I say something about how I feel? I guess thank you for the lecture about how I can’t feel a certain way because it hurts you to hear that it might have something to do with you in some way too?’’, he would just shake his head. ‘’This is exactly why nothing can ever get solved. It’s always more about ‘how dare you even imply this about me, now I must explain just why most of what you said is so not true every time’, rather than a constructive conversation. If this is how it’s always going to be, then I don’t really want to talk anymore. I’m tired of this shit already. And before you say anything, this is in general, not just against you specifically. I should probably make a disclaimer every time I talk.’’ Just, enough. He was honestly feeling like he just hit his head hard against a brick wall right now, and it was far from pleasant.

‘’You ask me? You were the one advocating that we should believe it can help.’’ He had been skeptical from the start anyway, so he had next to nothing to say to that one.

The demon would bare his teeth slightly looking for two seconds as if he was about to snap at the other, but then he would sigh unexpectedly as he sighed a bit and shook his head.

"i...didn’t...Tch!” he would shake his head to clear before looking back up at the other a bit moodily. His mouth moved as if he was trying to say something, but for a few seconds he didn’t, but with time he found his voice.

“Okay, okay. Perhaps you are right. Maybe I do need to take a chill or something,” he would say his voice softer than before as the anger seemed to drain out of him as he rubbed his eyes a bit. “And no...you don’t have make a disclaimer. I understand that this whole situation in general is tiring and I honestly don’t want you to shell up on me or feel you can’t say what you feel. My intent was not to shut you down...I guess i just missed something along the line and missed the train. No excuse of course...so I do apologize for stepping out of line like that.” The demon would lean back on the sofa reopening his eyes as he looked at the other a drained. “So I was...and I dunno maybe it will help and maybe it won’t. I suppose we won’t know until we try. Either way I am going therapy to see if I can’t figure this out. If you’re still on board cool and if not that is fine too. I am just at a lost of the correct action here.” The demon would say. He was tired and and he was pretty sure the other was too, but at the same time he didn’t like the idea of shutting this down, but on the other hand if they kept picking would they get anywhere? Doubtful...

He wouldn't do much beyond just flatly staring at the other, despite the faces the demon was pulling at first and all. He was completely not in the mood to keep this up or try to fight at that moment. If the other actually did try to bite at him, he would have simply walked away or such. Not a fight he was interested in winning, and he was already feeling shitty enough thanks to the combo of this and the lingering effects of the alcohol, which were only amplifying everything in all honesty. He normally didn't get like this as fast as that.

He would sigh faintly. ''...I wish that would make me feel less like shit though. I probably really shouldn't do stuff like this and drinking within the same time period.'' It clearly wasn't doing him a lot of good. ''I can try, but I do have my limits when it comes to strangers prodding me. That said, I still kind of stand behind what I said. We're not going to make any move forward if we just keep biting at each other over every seeming implication. Maybe it'd be better to ask for clarification before assuming something was meant in a bad way? Or we should just play 21 questions or something....''

The demon would wince a bit at the words as he looked up at the other. "Perhaps you should get your water and come lie down, then," the demon would say as he patted the sofa. He wasn't sure if standing up was helping matters much anyway. He knew it would make him feel better to sit down if he was feeling bad. "Well a try is something. As for what you said, we can agree there. As for clarity, well I can try that though how that differs from question games is a bit blurred right now for us...granted the drinking isn't helping see clearly. Speaking of liquids," the demon would shift on the sofa and slip to the edge before looking up at the other. "Excuse me for a bit gonna take a restroom break if you don't mind." From there the demon would move to get being careful not to collide with the other as he moved towards his destination.

Hmm. Well, he would just hum faintly in response, not really having much to say there since the other decided to leave right after saying his piece, thus not giving him a window big enough to formulate a response that would matter any. He would kind of take the suggestion while the other was away though, but instead of bringing the water over, he would just swallow down the glass at the table and leave it there once empty, and instead of lying down on the sofa, he would simply sit on it, leaning against the back of it with his eyes closed. Which was what he'd be doing by the time the other came back unless the guy was fast enough to catch him in between.

The demon would come back from doing his business and paused in the bedroom door way as he looked over at the other who was now sitting on the sofa with his head leaned back and his eyes closed. He was really worn out wasn’t he? The demon would frown a bit to himself at that one before drifting over to the night table rather quietly to retrieve his glass. He didn’t drink the remaining liquid though. No he took the glass and the pizza to the kitchen. He’d put the pizza in the fridge and switched out the liquid inside the glass for water. He would drink a bit of it before refilling it and placing it on the counter and looking over at the other.

“Hey...you said you are feeling shitty...what are you suffering from like headache, stomach ache…?” he would ask as he leaned against the counter for now watching the other.

When hearing the question, he would furrow his brows slightly as he opened his eyes to look towards the other. ''It's nothing super specific. I just feel a little nauseous right now. I think I'll be okay though.'' It wasn't anything bad, as long as he didn't go and keep drinking or do something stupid to flip himself over even more than that. It was likely just a temporary reaction to all the things happening today.

"You want some peppermint tea to try and soothe it?" the demon would offer as he remained in the kitchen for now, his tail flicking slightly the tip brushing the ground a bit.

''I have no idea if that works, but sure....'', he would just go back to closing his eyes for the time being. He didn't really know much about what tea did what, but he didn't mind anything minty anyway, so guess that was okay?

The demon would nod lightly at the response given before hunting down the kettle and getting things set. As he set the water to boil, he'd open his cabinet and stick his head in slightly as his eyes scanned the shelves, but mostly his nose hunted for the right scent. He would find the correct bag of tea leaves and after getting those down, he would kneel down to find the tea strainer. Hmm...

Well, guess now all he could do was wait? He didn't plan on moving around much right away, so there was not much to do there, unless the other wanted to start a conversation or something.

For now the demon would keep himself busy getting the tea ready for the other. He wouldn't start any conversations letting the other rest for now. Besides they both probably needed the break.

Well, guess silence works too? He probably wouldn't have minded talk as long as it was easy-going enough, but it wasn't like he was going to randomly disturb the other just because.

The time would pass more or less in silence, the demon concentrating on making the tea as he allowed the other time to relax. When he was done with the task some time later, he would take place the cup on a saucer and then carefully take over to the other.

"Here," the demon would say breaking the silence so that one the other knew he was there trying to hand him said tea."Do you need sugar with this?"

For a while, he would just occupy himself by thinking about random things, blinking at the other when he came over after some time. ''Mmm.'', he would shift to sit up more straight before reaching to take the item in question and just staring at it a bit. ''I don't think so..I already had enough sweet stuff already.'' Hmm. Well, he couldn't drink that right away without probably burning himself so....